There'll also be an awards ceremony next December, where the people they've spent the previous year hyping win another empty frigging trophy.
Shit like this is beyond depressing. Jools Holland and fucking Glasto? Is that what the vast pantheon of Human hopes and fears as expressed by music gets reduced to? A dreary procession of sameness, sludged out with metronome predictability, purely for the delight of witless TV presenters and "tastemakers"?
Is it any wonder popular music is in the doldrums?
Monday, December 15, 2014
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Where is it?
MYSTERY surrounds the non-appearance of AS1967's "Perpetual List Of Bands To Hear Next Year". The announcement, generally seen as the only counter-balance to the wearisome procession of end - year lists and new year predictions, has been delayed for reasons which have not as yet become clear. Suggestions persist that AS1967 has become bored with it. Sources close to the blog deny this, claiming the issue relates to a lack of a suitably caustic trophy design, after tests with an inner bog roll tube didn't live down to expectations. "It actually looked like a plausible trophy" the source claimed "and there was a chance, however remote, someone would miss the point"
Photobombed randoms traded up on early business as liketivists selfie'd viral memes on this rumournews.
Photobombed randoms traded up on early business as liketivists selfie'd viral memes on this rumournews.
Saturday, December 06, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
There's a silence surrounding me...
Apt.
Previously I mentioned Pink Floyd's "The Division Bell" had been released in a box set, complete with surround sound, high resolution version of the album. Conveniently priced at the rate of "a complete frigging rip off".
Out of the blue, they then released said album in surround on a stand-alone DVD, which I confidently ordered from the Pink Floyd website. Expectations were high.
A fortnight later they cancelled my order, announcing they weren't pressing any more discs. That was the end of that. Of course all this did was piss me and others off and provide an immediately lucrative new product for ebay skelpers (or is it scalpers? I think I prefer the former) to profiteer from. It is now possible to buy this single disc for more than the already extortionately priced deluxe box set.
Either way, and I know they don't need the money, Pink Floyd lose. They don't get a sale from me and the others who wanted the disc, they don't get any additional cash from the skelpers, and they end up just forcing those who wanted to buy the thing, to investigate the deep recesses of the internet in the off-chance an anticipatory back-up might appear. And who knows what else they might find, that they could have alternatively bought?
It is utter folly.
Previously I mentioned Pink Floyd's "The Division Bell" had been released in a box set, complete with surround sound, high resolution version of the album. Conveniently priced at the rate of "a complete frigging rip off".
Out of the blue, they then released said album in surround on a stand-alone DVD, which I confidently ordered from the Pink Floyd website. Expectations were high.
A fortnight later they cancelled my order, announcing they weren't pressing any more discs. That was the end of that. Of course all this did was piss me and others off and provide an immediately lucrative new product for ebay skelpers (or is it scalpers? I think I prefer the former) to profiteer from. It is now possible to buy this single disc for more than the already extortionately priced deluxe box set.
Either way, and I know they don't need the money, Pink Floyd lose. They don't get a sale from me and the others who wanted the disc, they don't get any additional cash from the skelpers, and they end up just forcing those who wanted to buy the thing, to investigate the deep recesses of the internet in the off-chance an anticipatory back-up might appear. And who knows what else they might find, that they could have alternatively bought?
It is utter folly.
This is to certified that this post has been passed
So I took advantage (if "advantage" is the right word) of a discounted subscription* to Empire, the self-styled "World's Leading Movie Magazine". There's £18 I'm not getting back. It has a routine it slavishly sticks to; preview the movie, then ramp up the hype until, in the the month of its release, they print a series of oleaginous interviews with the director and the "stars", before delivering a four star review, which will be revised upwards or downwards depending on how the wind has blown in the intervening months between its cinematic and home video release. Interspersed between the emptiness are cuddly, thumbs aloft, yet somnolent interviews where never a critical word is issued or a pointed question is asked, "funny lists" and retrospectives of films they now pretend they liked.
And repeat until the Universe is a dilute gaseous stew of decaying protons
*They produce a "Limited Edition Collectors Cover" magazine especially for subscribers. It usually features a photoshopped PR still from the film they've just spent the last couple of months plugging. They are marvellous. No. Wait. That's wrong. What's the opposite of "marvellous?"
And repeat until the Universe is a dilute gaseous stew of decaying protons
*They produce a "Limited Edition Collectors Cover" magazine especially for subscribers. It usually features a photoshopped PR still from the film they've just spent the last couple of months plugging. They are marvellous. No. Wait. That's wrong. What's the opposite of "marvellous?"
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Odds and Sods - Extreme Dispensation Volume 1
Previously I've riled against ebay skelpers artificially inflating the price of out of print SACDs. It seems they have laid the foundations for the record industry to apply the same logic to other high resolution or surround releases. Pink Floyd have announced "The Division Bell" will soon be available on blu-ray - high resolution, surround sound - the works. Unfortunately it can only be purchased as part of a limited (apt) edition box set (which helpfully includes a set of branded coasters) costing £140. To misquote - you gotta be crazy, got to be able to pick out the rip off's with my eyes closed.
Of course Record Shop Day has triggered this avalanche of limited editions. The last one was notable for some bands releasing stuff on audio cassette. Me? My new album will be only be available on CED and will be attached to the side of the next NASA mission to the outer planets.
Up yours Green Day.
Of course Record Shop Day has triggered this avalanche of limited editions. The last one was notable for some bands releasing stuff on audio cassette. Me? My new album will be only be available on CED and will be attached to the side of the next NASA mission to the outer planets.
Up yours Green Day.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
More More More
which sounds like a Thatcherite Stewarts advertisement...
The whole craft beer? Vile tasting, soapy IPA, commanding a 100% premium over superior non-craft beer, aimed at idiots with retro-Victorian beards and lumberjack shirts. I don't know what is worse, mass produced stuff with only a passing resemblance to beer, or hand crafted, artisan ales which taste like a pint of Lemon Fairy Liquid someone has accidentally stubbed a Woodbine out in?
Or maybe I do.
I bought a Sunday Newspaper today and "The Observer" reminded me why I don't. Some "commentator" gurning about pizza, lauding £900 handbags on page 9, a column called "Ethical Living" on page 51 and more which is too fucking depressing in its vacuous hypocrisy to even list. Of course the question is - who is any of this guff relevant to? Or does it purely exist to validate itself and the shovel handed wabs who write it?
Ah. The truth reveals itself.
Genuinely? I do not give one single, solitary flaying fuck about who wins which award for anything. Nor do I give a rats arse why you think someone else should have won. Or not won. There's a word for it, or at least there is now for these irrelevances. They are entirely disimportant.
And breathe.
Google is having one of its periodic "doesn't work properly in Opera" phases, making posting this nearly as much of a ball ache as reading.it.
The whole craft beer? Vile tasting, soapy IPA, commanding a 100% premium over superior non-craft beer, aimed at idiots with retro-Victorian beards and lumberjack shirts. I don't know what is worse, mass produced stuff with only a passing resemblance to beer, or hand crafted, artisan ales which taste like a pint of Lemon Fairy Liquid someone has accidentally stubbed a Woodbine out in?
Or maybe I do.
I bought a Sunday Newspaper today and "The Observer" reminded me why I don't. Some "commentator" gurning about pizza, lauding £900 handbags on page 9, a column called "Ethical Living" on page 51 and more which is too fucking depressing in its vacuous hypocrisy to even list. Of course the question is - who is any of this guff relevant to? Or does it purely exist to validate itself and the shovel handed wabs who write it?
Ah. The truth reveals itself.
Genuinely? I do not give one single, solitary flaying fuck about who wins which award for anything. Nor do I give a rats arse why you think someone else should have won. Or not won. There's a word for it, or at least there is now for these irrelevances. They are entirely disimportant.
And breathe.
Google is having one of its periodic "doesn't work properly in Opera" phases, making posting this nearly as much of a ball ache as reading.it.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Blergh!
Predatory celebrities and facebook crazes. And raunchy videos, made by crowdsourced hipsters, triggering kickstarted flashmobs, instagramed on iphones by Tweeting twerkers.
It's enough to drive me to prink.
It's enough to drive me to prink.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Let the buyer beware
What they say and what they mean.
Special purchase - Cheap tat purposely made to be offered as a "special purchase"
Huge Savings - Against deliberately inflated prices.
Typical Selling Price - An inflated price designed to make the saving look better. The term "typical selling price" or its close relative "suggested" are a misdirection, designed to befuddle the recommended retail price legislation.
Buy 3 for 2 - The price for two, is the price three were before the offer started.
If you see a suspiciously expensive, yet under specified product, it is likely to be being price established. This allows the retailer to offer a legitimate yet entirely misleading saving at a later date.
Save up to 50% - There is a proportion of products that must have had this saving applied, however these items usually consist of high margin, low ticket priced items, and goods that have been through the price establishing process.
Prices Match Guarantees. Cached in exclusions, the most common in the electrical sector being the "exclusive model" get out. The addition, substitution or removal of a model number prefix / suffix is enough to make an otherwise identical model different, meaning the price match will not apply. The delivery options must also be the same. So if the competitor doesn't offer free delivery to the Moon on alternate transits of Venus, then I'm sorry we can't match that price,
Fully Guaranteed Exchanged Items / B Grade. Crap the manufacturers won't take back because a vital piece of polystyrene packing is missing. It will be intermittently faulty.
Display Items - General. Poked and pawed at by hammer handed, ice cream eating children. It will have an additional and completely free layer of Mr Sheen. Parts will be missing. As will the box. And the instructions. And the power adapter you need. A replacement universal one will be provided, the use of which invalidates the warranty.
Display Items - Requiring a remote control. If, by some miracle you do get the correct remote there will be the remnants of brown tape over the battery cover. It will also look like it has been a comforter for a teething Staffordshire bull terrier. More likely, the remote you get is a "best guess remote". Half the functions won't work but you've been assured a replacement has been ordered. It will never arrive.
Display Items - Computers. The cursory attempt to remove the Shop Demo by the instore “experts” will result in there being at least two administrator accounts on your nominally new machine, one of which you’ll never be able to remove. Any trial software, pre-installed on the machine (crap and all as it is) will have long since expired, meaning you will be festooned with pop-ups reminding you it has expired. As they no longer supply an operating system disk which, would allow you to do a full restore, you are reduced to uninstalling this infernal crap, leaving behind rogue registry keys, file associations and odd documents referring to someone's "boobies".
Managers Specials – You’d be better advised taking your chances in the electrical product recycling skip at your municipal dump.
Special purchase - Cheap tat purposely made to be offered as a "special purchase"
Huge Savings - Against deliberately inflated prices.
Typical Selling Price - An inflated price designed to make the saving look better. The term "typical selling price" or its close relative "suggested" are a misdirection, designed to befuddle the recommended retail price legislation.
Buy 3 for 2 - The price for two, is the price three were before the offer started.
If you see a suspiciously expensive, yet under specified product, it is likely to be being price established. This allows the retailer to offer a legitimate yet entirely misleading saving at a later date.
Save up to 50% - There is a proportion of products that must have had this saving applied, however these items usually consist of high margin, low ticket priced items, and goods that have been through the price establishing process.
Prices Match Guarantees. Cached in exclusions, the most common in the electrical sector being the "exclusive model" get out. The addition, substitution or removal of a model number prefix / suffix is enough to make an otherwise identical model different, meaning the price match will not apply. The delivery options must also be the same. So if the competitor doesn't offer free delivery to the Moon on alternate transits of Venus, then I'm sorry we can't match that price,
Fully Guaranteed Exchanged Items / B Grade. Crap the manufacturers won't take back because a vital piece of polystyrene packing is missing. It will be intermittently faulty.
Display Items - General. Poked and pawed at by hammer handed, ice cream eating children. It will have an additional and completely free layer of Mr Sheen. Parts will be missing. As will the box. And the instructions. And the power adapter you need. A replacement universal one will be provided, the use of which invalidates the warranty.
Display Items - Requiring a remote control. If, by some miracle you do get the correct remote there will be the remnants of brown tape over the battery cover. It will also look like it has been a comforter for a teething Staffordshire bull terrier. More likely, the remote you get is a "best guess remote". Half the functions won't work but you've been assured a replacement has been ordered. It will never arrive.
Display Items - Computers. The cursory attempt to remove the Shop Demo by the instore “experts” will result in there being at least two administrator accounts on your nominally new machine, one of which you’ll never be able to remove. Any trial software, pre-installed on the machine (crap and all as it is) will have long since expired, meaning you will be festooned with pop-ups reminding you it has expired. As they no longer supply an operating system disk which, would allow you to do a full restore, you are reduced to uninstalling this infernal crap, leaving behind rogue registry keys, file associations and odd documents referring to someone's "boobies".
Managers Specials – You’d be better advised taking your chances in the electrical product recycling skip at your municipal dump.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Return Volume 3
So.
The usual.
Spar branded salt is labelled as "suitable for vegetarians".
Sainsbury's "Half Turnips" are £1.50. Their whole Turnips are 75p.
The I newspaper's Arts and Entertainment coverage has been proclaimed as "new and improved". Pointing the contradiction inherent in the claim resulted in a ban from the comments section.
It's hard to square "Private Eye's" fortnightly howling at the BBC, with its editor's continued participation in the BBC's "Have I Got News For You".
As is its continued howling about bankers with the advertisements in its pages for Lloyd's Private Banking Services.
The usual.
Spar branded salt is labelled as "suitable for vegetarians".
Sainsbury's "Half Turnips" are £1.50. Their whole Turnips are 75p.
The I newspaper's Arts and Entertainment coverage has been proclaimed as "new and improved". Pointing the contradiction inherent in the claim resulted in a ban from the comments section.
It's hard to square "Private Eye's" fortnightly howling at the BBC, with its editor's continued participation in the BBC's "Have I Got News For You".
As is its continued howling about bankers with the advertisements in its pages for Lloyd's Private Banking Services.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Odds and Ends.
When retailers say "sale ends soon" I wonder do they mean an imperial soon or a metric one?
I've resumed my struggle with DLNA. I bought a nice client, wired up my blu-ray player and waited for the fireworks. As concepts go flawed doesn't even come close to describing it. For example, its inability to deal with albums with tracks which fade into each other. Now, depending on the DLNA client you use, and the format the music has been ripped in, it is possible to avoid
"So let me introduce to you the one and only Billy Shears...
Silence.
Pause.
Delay.
More silence.
A longer pause.
A bit more delay.
...Billy Shears"
But only after an inordinate amount of footering. As it sits, DLNA is unusable.
Dixon's have posted more comedy sales figures and results which boil down to "if you ignore all our losses we made a profit." They've a year, 18 months tops. They'll not go bust as such, more likely they'll have their supplier insurance removed or hiked up. The end will come shortly after. Indeed it would not surprise me if suppliers were already hedging their bets and delivering directly to the customer rather than use Curry’s infrastructure.
Recently there was a shocking exposé which revealed celebrity experts are completely useless at solving issues. No surprises from this quarter. Of course their utter inadequacy hasn't prevented the BBC from running a programme where "celebrity chef(s)" solve UK food poverty. They even had the big event at the end when they triumphantly present their budget feast to a motley a collection of ne'er do well's as I've ever seen, selected to appear at the end of a shite, celebrity centric, TV show*. Because appearing at the end of shite, celebrity centric, TV show's is all they are famous for. Needless to say they all pouted and declared the food "lovely" and pledged their support** - for as long as the camera was there anyway.
The most recent instalment featured one intrepid chef, tasked with making budget fish and chips, flying off to Norway to select the ingredients. And you thought shopping at Waitrose was excessive. Clearly this isn't aimed at the impoverished single mum, forced to go hungry so her children can eat, but rather those stricken individuals who can no longer afford fresh Fennel and are forced to buy the dried stuff.
*There is a subset of celebrities who exist purely to fill the role of attendees in shows such as this. Of course this is nothing new. Watch any "An Audience With" and gaze in wonder at Wincey Willis and Rusty Lee.
** They'd also roped along some Supermarket representatives who committed themselves to, well nothing really. Just once I'd like one of them to turn around and tell the instigators that no they won't be supporting this, as it has nothing to do with the notional cause it supposedly embraces, but is in fact a lot of self serving shit.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Odds and Sods - Ultimate Redux Volume II
Do we really need another interminable of series of slappable wannabies performing outlandish and irrelevant stunts to win a job working for a company whose entire business is producing 23rd rate junk foisted upon an unsuspecting public by a supplier of multi-channel TV?
Or another interfering, bubble permed, busy body deemed an "expert" because the previous one, who now believes selling her brand (and only her brand) of frilly knickers will save the High Street, fucked off to Channel 4?
Or more "consumer champions" proffering advice which seems to consist of "shop during the sales" or "if you ask some hapless sap for a discount while being filmed by a C4 camera crew you are more likely to get it" or "set up a money saving website site then sell it for millions"
Or idiots who think
a) Companies are unable to sell fashionable or desirable consumer durables as "new" if the box has been opened.
b) That rather than offer these items at a reduced price in one of their outline stores they will, instead, give them away for free.
c) And that the best way for them to decide who should get these freebies is by picking someone who has shared a picture of said product on Facebook.
Or another fucking "comedy show" featuring two performers whose qualification for getting a show seems to be the university they went to?
Or another interfering, bubble permed, busy body deemed an "expert" because the previous one, who now believes selling her brand (and only her brand) of frilly knickers will save the High Street, fucked off to Channel 4?
Or more "consumer champions" proffering advice which seems to consist of "shop during the sales" or "if you ask some hapless sap for a discount while being filmed by a C4 camera crew you are more likely to get it" or "set up a money saving website site then sell it for millions"
Or idiots who think
a) Companies are unable to sell fashionable or desirable consumer durables as "new" if the box has been opened.
b) That rather than offer these items at a reduced price in one of their outline stores they will, instead, give them away for free.
c) And that the best way for them to decide who should get these freebies is by picking someone who has shared a picture of said product on Facebook.
Or another fucking "comedy show" featuring two performers whose qualification for getting a show seems to be the university they went to?
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Yeah more.
So...
A show about sewing. Marvellous. I look forward to the knock-off versions featuring knitting.
The History Channel - the way it's going that will be an accurate description of its fate.
Honestly? Walloping the prefix "craft" on your generic IPA doesn't justify the extra £1. No matter how many NHS spec wearing wabs think otherwise. Nor does giving it a funny name - unless it's "Pish IPA Aimed At Undemanding Fuckwits".
A show about sewing. Marvellous. I look forward to the knock-off versions featuring knitting.
The History Channel - the way it's going that will be an accurate description of its fate.
Honestly? Walloping the prefix "craft" on your generic IPA doesn't justify the extra £1. No matter how many NHS spec wearing wabs think otherwise. Nor does giving it a funny name - unless it's "Pish IPA Aimed At Undemanding Fuckwits".
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Great Things About - S*** W*rs.
As this decade straddling cultural phenomena announces a new film I thought it would be worth listing the things which make S*** W*rs great.
1. Nothing.
1. Nothing.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Great Things About - Doctor Who.
As this decade straddling cultural phenomena celebrates its 50th anniversary, I thought it would be worth listing the things which make Doctor Who great.
1. Delia Derbyshire.
2. Er?
3. Did I mention Delia Derbyshire?
1. Delia Derbyshire.
2. Er?
3. Did I mention Delia Derbyshire?
Saturday, February 02, 2013
It's Vinyl-ly happened.
Honestly? If the future of music retailing is a myriad of "limited edition*" box sets featuring this month's must have fashion trinket vinyl, then the future isn't bright at all. Previously I'd complained that Belfast's one good record shop "Head" had been forced to close because their landlords wanted to lease the premises they used to a flavour of the month clothing brand. You know the sort; chasing the "purple-skinny-jeans-chequered-shirts-and-unnecessary-glasses" demographic. Well the good news is that "Head" found new premises and reopened. And the celebrations lasted long into the night. Or they did up to the point I took my first nosey around. I think the word is "forlorn". Gone was the vast selection of CDs. Now the place is filled with cheap DVDs and something much worse....
When HMV went bust, there was howling how they'd "lost touch". "Too much electronics" they claimed "not enough music". It isn't quite the same but "Head" are in danger of falling into a similar trap. Except there is plenty of music; but it's on vinyl.
Now here's the thing. There are many advocates for the vinyl experience. Listening to music on "vinyl" is a more involving experience. The ceremony of pulling the LP out of its beautifully designed sleeve, examining the pricey, hand crafted, 180gm audiophile virgin vinyl pressing, carefully placing it on the turntable, and sitting there immersing yourself in the music. As you can't to skip tracks you have to listen to tunes you would previously ignore, allowing you to explore the music as the album unfolds; hearing it the way the artist meant it to be heard.
What could be better?
Of course, this fiction doesn't bear scrutiny. What really happens is that you pull the vinyl out of a cover, which looks like something cobbled together from one of those random album cover generator memes, complete with a pixelated photo ripped off from Flickr. You then stick this work of carefully mastered polyvinyl wizardry on your plastic £70 turntable, complete with a stylus which would have a hard time passing muster as a wood screw and wow and flutter fluctuations measured in geological periods. While you can't skip between the tracks, the turntable certainly can, entirely of its own accord. And, as the stylus clogs with dust, and the crackle generated by static this causes issues forth from your speakers, you console yourself that none of this matters; "vinyl" sounds better because its analogue, ignoring that pretty much any piece of music recorded in the last 25 years has been recorded digitally. But it's still better than CD. Which, if you are prepared to spend the price of a car on turntable plus the same on the rest of your hi-fi and invest in special vibration eliminating stands and are prepared to only listen to Mary Black records, it occasionally will.
After the first few listens through, you realise that there are only two tracks you like, conveniently located on different sides, meaning if you just want to hear these you have to get up and flip the thing over. After three more plays you wonder, as you run your carbon fibre anti-static brush over the LP in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the worsening static crackles, why after so few plays on that turntable (with the USB connection you bought for slightly more than the album itself) it has managed to become scratched, adding to the cacophony of extraneous noises which obscure the music. Especially, as you've treated the thing with the same care and reverence as a heart prepped and ready for transplant into a sick toddler.
The only people who believe that "vinyl" is the future are those who didn't have to suffer its failings when there wasn't a choice. There is a reason why vinyl died. There is a reason why in less than 20 years 200 billion CDs have been produced**. So not only is "Head***" filling their shop with limited edition and contrary obscurest second hand vinyl which panders to the same demographic as that frigging clothes shop which forced them to move****, they are doing this at the expense of the format people actually buy. It is utter madness*****.
*If everything is a Limited Edition, then nothing is a Limited Edition.
**20 years after its abject failure Sony announces they will cease production of Mini Disc players. Yet analysts and experts claim that the single most successful consumer electronic format ever released, or CD if you prefer, is at death's door. Aye. Right.
***Of course it’s not just Head. Lots of record shops do the same; filled to the rafters with mouldy second vinyl and Limited Editions of albums by bands who certainly deserve the epithet “Limited”.
****If the irony were any more beautiful I think I'd cry.
*****Not to be confused with the rather fine compilation album "Complete Madness"
When HMV went bust, there was howling how they'd "lost touch". "Too much electronics" they claimed "not enough music". It isn't quite the same but "Head" are in danger of falling into a similar trap. Except there is plenty of music; but it's on vinyl.
Now here's the thing. There are many advocates for the vinyl experience. Listening to music on "vinyl" is a more involving experience. The ceremony of pulling the LP out of its beautifully designed sleeve, examining the pricey, hand crafted, 180gm audiophile virgin vinyl pressing, carefully placing it on the turntable, and sitting there immersing yourself in the music. As you can't to skip tracks you have to listen to tunes you would previously ignore, allowing you to explore the music as the album unfolds; hearing it the way the artist meant it to be heard.
What could be better?
Of course, this fiction doesn't bear scrutiny. What really happens is that you pull the vinyl out of a cover, which looks like something cobbled together from one of those random album cover generator memes, complete with a pixelated photo ripped off from Flickr. You then stick this work of carefully mastered polyvinyl wizardry on your plastic £70 turntable, complete with a stylus which would have a hard time passing muster as a wood screw and wow and flutter fluctuations measured in geological periods. While you can't skip between the tracks, the turntable certainly can, entirely of its own accord. And, as the stylus clogs with dust, and the crackle generated by static this causes issues forth from your speakers, you console yourself that none of this matters; "vinyl" sounds better because its analogue, ignoring that pretty much any piece of music recorded in the last 25 years has been recorded digitally. But it's still better than CD. Which, if you are prepared to spend the price of a car on turntable plus the same on the rest of your hi-fi and invest in special vibration eliminating stands and are prepared to only listen to Mary Black records, it occasionally will.
After the first few listens through, you realise that there are only two tracks you like, conveniently located on different sides, meaning if you just want to hear these you have to get up and flip the thing over. After three more plays you wonder, as you run your carbon fibre anti-static brush over the LP in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the worsening static crackles, why after so few plays on that turntable (with the USB connection you bought for slightly more than the album itself) it has managed to become scratched, adding to the cacophony of extraneous noises which obscure the music. Especially, as you've treated the thing with the same care and reverence as a heart prepped and ready for transplant into a sick toddler.
The only people who believe that "vinyl" is the future are those who didn't have to suffer its failings when there wasn't a choice. There is a reason why vinyl died. There is a reason why in less than 20 years 200 billion CDs have been produced**. So not only is "Head***" filling their shop with limited edition and contrary obscurest second hand vinyl which panders to the same demographic as that frigging clothes shop which forced them to move****, they are doing this at the expense of the format people actually buy. It is utter madness*****.
*If everything is a Limited Edition, then nothing is a Limited Edition.
**20 years after its abject failure Sony announces they will cease production of Mini Disc players. Yet analysts and experts claim that the single most successful consumer electronic format ever released, or CD if you prefer, is at death's door. Aye. Right.
***Of course it’s not just Head. Lots of record shops do the same; filled to the rafters with mouldy second vinyl and Limited Editions of albums by bands who certainly deserve the epithet “Limited”.
****If the irony were any more beautiful I think I'd cry.
*****Not to be confused with the rather fine compilation album "Complete Madness"
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Monday, December 03, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
You knew where to come
So Comet are no more. I'm sure, behind the public condolences, high fives and bottles of champagne were consumed in the head office of another struggling electrical retailer. With one year in profit out of the last 4, including a loss of over £250 million less than 18 months ago they have much to be cheery about. Let's hope they discover that hubris is a fickle bitch.
I also note that the big money transfer of a senior executive from said retailer to the world's largest purveyor of electronic validation didn't quite go according to plan. Clearly not enough people wanted to avail of extended warranties, anti-virus software, MS Office, laptop bags or suspiciously over priced "services" to justify their continued employment.
In a couple of weeks time these shops will also be filled with peculiarly priced products. You know - the basic toaster selling for £40, the hopelessly outclassed 32" TV at £599, none of which appear on the manufacturers web site. I'll be keeping an eye.
I've spent the last couple of weeks fighting with a DLNA client on a Blu-ray player. This is one of those things which is better in theory than it is in practice. The whole folder / sub folder / file format is so wilfully clunky that it is hard to see the benefit it offers over just sticking a frigging disc in. So how do I play this album by this artist and then that one by another one conveniently stored in a different folder? Not easily. And if it happens to be in a format that your player doesn't support, well that client they've given you isn't going to work. You'll need to buy one which transcodes on the fly, which means all that content you have created in a format this manufacturer as deemed incompatible on your stand alone DLNA compliant media hard drive is as playable as a wax cylinder. So it's more awkward than playing a CD.It doesn't sound as good as CD and if you want to navigate around you either need to have the thing plugged into a TV screen or be skilled in the use of divining rods. Hey that's me sold. My CDs are for the bin....
Recently I posted a question on a Surround Sound forum asking a guest "star" what the difference was between someone selling a second hand disc for a grossly inflated sum, where the artist receives nothing, beyond the initial royalty when the disc was sold, and downloading said content from a hooky website for free? Isn't the net result, the artist getting nothing beyond the initial royalty when the disc was sold, exactly the same? I don't know what their response was. The friggers deleted it. Still I wonder if they care? They could press more, charge a wee premium and watch the sad hi res (like me) lap it up. But no. You want buy it? Then buy it "new" from ebay such as Roxy Music's "Avalon" on SACD going £750. Bargain. Can I have two please?
I also note that the big money transfer of a senior executive from said retailer to the world's largest purveyor of electronic validation didn't quite go according to plan. Clearly not enough people wanted to avail of extended warranties, anti-virus software, MS Office, laptop bags or suspiciously over priced "services" to justify their continued employment.
In a couple of weeks time these shops will also be filled with peculiarly priced products. You know - the basic toaster selling for £40, the hopelessly outclassed 32" TV at £599, none of which appear on the manufacturers web site. I'll be keeping an eye.
I've spent the last couple of weeks fighting with a DLNA client on a Blu-ray player. This is one of those things which is better in theory than it is in practice. The whole folder / sub folder / file format is so wilfully clunky that it is hard to see the benefit it offers over just sticking a frigging disc in. So how do I play this album by this artist and then that one by another one conveniently stored in a different folder? Not easily. And if it happens to be in a format that your player doesn't support, well that client they've given you isn't going to work. You'll need to buy one which transcodes on the fly, which means all that content you have created in a format this manufacturer as deemed incompatible on your stand alone DLNA compliant media hard drive is as playable as a wax cylinder. So it's more awkward than playing a CD.It doesn't sound as good as CD and if you want to navigate around you either need to have the thing plugged into a TV screen or be skilled in the use of divining rods. Hey that's me sold. My CDs are for the bin....
Recently I posted a question on a Surround Sound forum asking a guest "star" what the difference was between someone selling a second hand disc for a grossly inflated sum, where the artist receives nothing, beyond the initial royalty when the disc was sold, and downloading said content from a hooky website for free? Isn't the net result, the artist getting nothing beyond the initial royalty when the disc was sold, exactly the same? I don't know what their response was. The friggers deleted it. Still I wonder if they care? They could press more, charge a wee premium and watch the sad hi res (like me) lap it up. But no. You want buy it? Then buy it "new" from ebay such as Roxy Music's "Avalon" on SACD going £750. Bargain. Can I have two please?
Saturday, November 03, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Aye.
Opera doesn't work with Blogger again.
They should just rename Sunday "Nothing But Frigging Cookery Programmes On TV" Day.
And no I don't give a fuck about your new phone, or how it validates your otherwise empty existence. Defining yourself by the consumer durables you own is so far beyond pathetic it defies the normal parameters of what actually constitutes "pathetic".
In ten years time people will look back at a time when smartphones and auto-tuned fuckery define popular culture not with nostalgia, but with bewilderment at how we let things slip.
Whatever headline is on the BBC page, not now, but when you read this, is the worst thing ever. And it will remain the worse thing ever, until it is replaced by the next, different worst thing.
They should just rename Sunday "Nothing But Frigging Cookery Programmes On TV" Day.
And no I don't give a fuck about your new phone, or how it validates your otherwise empty existence. Defining yourself by the consumer durables you own is so far beyond pathetic it defies the normal parameters of what actually constitutes "pathetic".
In ten years time people will look back at a time when smartphones and auto-tuned fuckery define popular culture not with nostalgia, but with bewilderment at how we let things slip.
Whatever headline is on the BBC page, not now, but when you read this, is the worst thing ever. And it will remain the worse thing ever, until it is replaced by the next, different worst thing.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Angry Since 1967 "Most Popular" Angry Since 1967
In figures released today "Angry Since 1967" confirmed its position as the pre-eminent "Angry Since 1967" blog. Commenting on these results AS1967 claimed "we're seeing record numbers of hits to the site. This is matched by our engagement statistics which demonstrate people are spending more time exploring the blog, up 50% per visit". Dismissing suggestions 3 hits a month, most of which came from Google was, in fact, pish poor AS1967 claimed that these were just "bald" figures which had not been adjusted according to well established interpretive models. "These numbers are representative rather than indicative. In this instance we use the commonly accepted assumption which directly equates the numbers of hits Angry Since 1967 receives and the population of the country which coded the automated web spider browsing the site. When this is factored into the calculation, it means a single visit from Google is equivalent to getting 312 million views.".
Monday, August 20, 2012
Now That's What I Call "Odds And Sods" Volume 12
The latest panacea to cure the economy is the extension of Sunday shopping hours. I see their point. Not even slightly. Forget about the people who'll have to work these extra hours - which I will dismiss with the following "well, they're lucky to have jobs. And we should bring back hanging. And National Service" and rather focus on how this will actually work. Puzzling isn't it? Now I'd argue retailers open too many hours already. From 9 O'clock on Monday morning, right through until 10 O'clock on Saturday evening there are national retailers open for business. If you add the 6 hours on a Sunday as well it means you can buy a TV, bread, marmite, condoms, batteries or whatever else you want during 83% of the available hours in a week from a shop. Yet the contention is if you allow retailers to open for a few extra hours on Sundays the economic problems which afflict us will be solved. Clearly the government and the advocates of this are expecting these hours to be busy. Of course this is patent nonsense which ignores the not insignificant fact that, property aside, the retail sector has taken the brunt of the effects of the recession. You don't have to go far to see vacant units in the high street or in shopping centres, nor does it take much effort to recall those retailers who have have gone to the wall. I suppose if you were to forget that business volumes are unlikely increase but will remain constant spread over the longer hours*, or factor in additional staffing and running costs, or the not inconsiderable fact that the quietest hours for retailers are those first thing in the morning or last thing at night, then letting retailers open at 9 on a Sunday until god knows when still doesn't make a poke of business sense. Yet it will happen. Why? Retail strategy isn't based on what your organisation does, rather it is based on a paranoid perception of what your competitors do (or more correctly might do), rather than giving a moments thought to what the impact replicating their actions will have on your business. If Comet started sticking people's heads in to fires, Curry's would offer it as well, but they'd try to cajole you into buying additional firelighters and scorch insurance, then blame their sales people for not selling the benefits of these added services. I'm not anti the idea of extended opening hours, I just wish they didn't attempt to justify it with spurious proclamations declaring wholesale economic benefits.
HMV released their annual results, in a statement which could be best described as "Jam Tomorrow. Promise." They have changed their focus again, with the shops making more of an effort to sell music rather than ipod docks. The downside is they've upped their prices for music. What this means is that they are effectively back where we started. If I can buy an as new disc from Amazon for 1p plus postage and packing, then what tangible (or intangible) benefit is there for me buying the same disc in HMV for a £10? It's not just the price either though. The news that last weeks No.1 album sold just over 9000 copies (CD and download) means that all those music retailers and supermarkets were scrambling over something which had a maximum sales value of less than £100,000. That's split between every single branch of Sainsbury's, Asda, Tesco, Morrisons, HMV and the online retailers. Which if you count the three main online retailers and you simply divide the figure by these, plus the five above that means they were getting on average sales of £12,500 each. The word "pittance" springs to mind. Or put another way? The Dandy is being cancelled after 75 years because it has a weekly circulation which has slumped to fractionally less than 9000. HMV are caught in a perfect storm. Too expensive, selling stuff that no-one wants, in a market which is in decline. I'm astonished they still exist.
*Of course longer opening hours also mean that your fixed costs per opening hour are reduced. But as your average hourly sales will be reduced the net result is they will effectively cancel each other out. The retailers who engage in 24 hour opening do rationalise this - if we have staff already in the branch replenishing anyway, then we might as well open the branch as our costs won't really increase and we might sell someone some Rizla's and Monster Munch at 4 in the morning, which we wouldn't otherwise have sold. Yeah up yours 24 hour garage! If, on the other hand, you are a retailer who doesn't use the hours you are closed for this purpose, then any additional opening hour is an additional cost.
HMV released their annual results, in a statement which could be best described as "Jam Tomorrow. Promise." They have changed their focus again, with the shops making more of an effort to sell music rather than ipod docks. The downside is they've upped their prices for music. What this means is that they are effectively back where we started. If I can buy an as new disc from Amazon for 1p plus postage and packing, then what tangible (or intangible) benefit is there for me buying the same disc in HMV for a £10? It's not just the price either though. The news that last weeks No.1 album sold just over 9000 copies (CD and download) means that all those music retailers and supermarkets were scrambling over something which had a maximum sales value of less than £100,000. That's split between every single branch of Sainsbury's, Asda, Tesco, Morrisons, HMV and the online retailers. Which if you count the three main online retailers and you simply divide the figure by these, plus the five above that means they were getting on average sales of £12,500 each. The word "pittance" springs to mind. Or put another way? The Dandy is being cancelled after 75 years because it has a weekly circulation which has slumped to fractionally less than 9000. HMV are caught in a perfect storm. Too expensive, selling stuff that no-one wants, in a market which is in decline. I'm astonished they still exist.
*Of course longer opening hours also mean that your fixed costs per opening hour are reduced. But as your average hourly sales will be reduced the net result is they will effectively cancel each other out. The retailers who engage in 24 hour opening do rationalise this - if we have staff already in the branch replenishing anyway, then we might as well open the branch as our costs won't really increase and we might sell someone some Rizla's and Monster Munch at 4 in the morning, which we wouldn't otherwise have sold. Yeah up yours 24 hour garage! If, on the other hand, you are a retailer who doesn't use the hours you are closed for this purpose, then any additional opening hour is an additional cost.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Too Obscure...
The problem is, as far as I can tell, taking the piss out of things which despite deserving it, are far too obscure. I should provide a link I suppose, but as the site I'm having a swipe at sees web hits as not only legitimatising what they do, but also giving it a sense of authority. I don't see any reason to feed their egos. Of course this veneer of legitimacy is ultimately undermined by the execrable horseshit which fills their site. Nonetheless I'll be damned allowing even the minuscule traffic a link from AS1967 could generate to contribute to their delusion.
And this is the thing now. Many websites, not just those run by aggrandising amateurs like the one I've referred to above, equate "hits" with "authority" and "legitimacy". This is especially true of those related to newspapers with declining circulations. One Belfast based paper now, to all intents and purposes, runs its printed version as a teaser for the online version. Were once they sold 120,000 a day they now sell less than half this. Now newspapers have always had their influence ascribed by their circulation. As their readership declines, so (and I think rightly) their relevance declines as well. They can no longer claim to speak for "the people" if "the people" don't bother their holes any more buying their publication. And it's the "buying" which is important. In a previous post I suggested that whoever came up with a level of engagement less than pressing a like button would be a billionaire seconds later. If you buy a newspaper you are making a conscious decision to engage with it. If you accidentally surf to a page which happens to be related to a newspaper, or look at a link to one story then frankly you are not engaging with anything.
Web hits are not, regardless of how much they howl to the contrary, equal to paid for circulation.
And this is the thing now. Many websites, not just those run by aggrandising amateurs like the one I've referred to above, equate "hits" with "authority" and "legitimacy". This is especially true of those related to newspapers with declining circulations. One Belfast based paper now, to all intents and purposes, runs its printed version as a teaser for the online version. Were once they sold 120,000 a day they now sell less than half this. Now newspapers have always had their influence ascribed by their circulation. As their readership declines, so (and I think rightly) their relevance declines as well. They can no longer claim to speak for "the people" if "the people" don't bother their holes any more buying their publication. And it's the "buying" which is important. In a previous post I suggested that whoever came up with a level of engagement less than pressing a like button would be a billionaire seconds later. If you buy a newspaper you are making a conscious decision to engage with it. If you accidentally surf to a page which happens to be related to a newspaper, or look at a link to one story then frankly you are not engaging with anything.
Web hits are not, regardless of how much they howl to the contrary, equal to paid for circulation.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Angry Since 1967 Redefines Blog Scope.
In today's fast moving, multi-faceted, information rich society, growing insight deficitism allows for little time to expend pausing to consider the ambient entirety of the worldscape which surrounds us. In an effort to identify, regenerate, empower, and explore this intravoid, Angry Since 1967 announces a redefinition of its online proposition, moving to occupy the thoughtspaces neglected by the paradigms which now constitute the concepts of "social media". By emancipating these boundaries and removing the shackles of social media's accepted modalities, Angry Since 1967 will provide antithetical commentary, freed from the clichés which reinforce and ultimately narrowize its didactical scope. With photography, poetry, art, music and video at its core, Angry Since 1967 will re-energise the dialogue, unafraid to use these constructs as tools to expose and contextualise that which would remain otherwise obscured and unchallenged by the quasi-intellectual sophism which shackles the extant narrative.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Monday, July 09, 2012
Odd and Sods - Redux. Part 2
I counted 9 advertisements for jobs in Belfast were the deal breaker is the ability to speak a Scandinavian language (other than Finnish), or Hebrew.
Aren't job creation grants wonderful?
Nope.
Google have decided Opera isn't compatible with Blogger any more. Weeker!
Regardless of what certain media sources may claim, the number of clicks on a Facebook or You Tube's "like" button are not an indication of empowerment or participation. Nor do they, in themselves, offer justification for a news story. Clicking a "like" button is currently the least amount of participation possible to have with anything. I say "currently" as whoever comes up with something even less committal will likely be a billionaire a matter of seconds later.
Aren't job creation grants wonderful?
Nope.
Google have decided Opera isn't compatible with Blogger any more. Weeker!
Regardless of what certain media sources may claim, the number of clicks on a Facebook or You Tube's "like" button are not an indication of empowerment or participation. Nor do they, in themselves, offer justification for a news story. Clicking a "like" button is currently the least amount of participation possible to have with anything. I say "currently" as whoever comes up with something even less committal will likely be a billionaire a matter of seconds later.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Angry Since 1967 Announces "Digtal®" Consultancy Service
Strategy in a chaotically organised world.
Angry Since 1967 Consults is the new Digtal® Consultancy arm of Angry Since 1967. As well as developing content packages for one of the most successful blogs called "Angry Since 1967", AS1967 now offers a package of Digtal® assistance for organisations and businesses to help them survive in a period of rapid change.
Digtal® Coaching – Nothing can grow if the movers and shakers in your organisation are feeling insecure or confused. With nearly ten years of award winning online engagement we can help your executives.
Strategic Counsel – We help you see beyond speedy technological change and understand the context of political, social and economic change.
Thought Leadership – Intelligence is about making connections. Our powerful network of partners comprises thinkers, mediocre, failed politicians, armchair commentators, Radio Ulster newspaper reviewers, sudden experts, subjective specialists, jokers, smokers, midnight tokers and cutting edge Digtal® entrepreneurs. We can put you in the picture and ahead of the game.
Correct Spelling - As an AS1967 client you want professionalism from your knowledge facilitator. Recognising the inherent weaknesses of proof reading, we've developed and deployed powerful Digtal® linguistic algorithms meaning you can be assured that our grasp of spelling is second only to our understanding of basic grammar, so you can.
Jargon Caching - Angry Since 1967 believes that anything worth saying, is either worth saying evasively, or disguised with empty jargon. Pico-trending, marketing funnel, hegemonic social space, heterogeneous empowerment and noise emancipation are fundamental tenets of our core participant benefit map.
Self Aggrandisement - You deserve the best. Which we will deliver, despite ample evidence to the contrary. This includes a badly designed, off the shelf, templated website which hasn't been proof read properly, filled with bad spelling and worse grammar. Trust me - sorry I mean "us"- I wrote something for someone once. And we get six hits a week.... Okay then, a month. And we nearly won an award. Honestly.
Now where's my grant?
Digtal® is a registered trademark of Angry Since 1967 and AS1967 Group. All rights reserved.
Is this too subtle?
Angry Since 1967 Consults is the new Digtal® Consultancy arm of Angry Since 1967. As well as developing content packages for one of the most successful blogs called "Angry Since 1967", AS1967 now offers a package of Digtal® assistance for organisations and businesses to help them survive in a period of rapid change.
Digtal® Coaching – Nothing can grow if the movers and shakers in your organisation are feeling insecure or confused. With nearly ten years of award winning online engagement we can help your executives.
Strategic Counsel – We help you see beyond speedy technological change and understand the context of political, social and economic change.
Thought Leadership – Intelligence is about making connections. Our powerful network of partners comprises thinkers, mediocre, failed politicians, armchair commentators, Radio Ulster newspaper reviewers, sudden experts, subjective specialists, jokers, smokers, midnight tokers and cutting edge Digtal® entrepreneurs. We can put you in the picture and ahead of the game.
Correct Spelling - As an AS1967 client you want professionalism from your knowledge facilitator. Recognising the inherent weaknesses of proof reading, we've developed and deployed powerful Digtal® linguistic algorithms meaning you can be assured that our grasp of spelling is second only to our understanding of basic grammar, so you can.
Jargon Caching - Angry Since 1967 believes that anything worth saying, is either worth saying evasively, or disguised with empty jargon. Pico-trending, marketing funnel, hegemonic social space, heterogeneous empowerment and noise emancipation are fundamental tenets of our core participant benefit map.
Self Aggrandisement - You deserve the best. Which we will deliver, despite ample evidence to the contrary. This includes a badly designed, off the shelf, templated website which hasn't been proof read properly, filled with bad spelling and worse grammar. Trust me - sorry I mean "us"- I wrote something for someone once. And we get six hits a week.... Okay then, a month. And we nearly won an award. Honestly.
Now where's my grant?
Digtal® is a registered trademark of Angry Since 1967 and AS1967 Group. All rights reserved.
Is this too subtle?
Monday, June 25, 2012
Take a look at our comedy, it's the only one we got.
If I ran a charity in a deprived neighbourhood and a guy appeared, claiming to be interested in what I was doing, but was being followed by a Channel 4 camera crew I'd be asking for the £20,000 cheque right there and then.
If, one day, I was standing in work, and I was introduced to someone who was there on "work experience" which was coincidentally being shot for a Channel 4 documentary I'd ask the Managing Director what their game was.
I've come to think that TV comedy needs a solid boot in the gonads. The parallels between what we have at the moment, and what existed in music in 1976 are obvious. Out of touch comedians whose sole target is to appear on a panel shows, rings with musicians whose sole target was to appear on Top Of The Pops. Then? Successful bands doing huge, indulgent stadium tours, playing set-lists filled with songs about the pains of being a member of a successful band, and the trials and tribulations of fame and fortune. Now? Successful comedians doing huge, indulgent stadium tours, filled with jokes about the pains of being a successful comedian, and the trials and tribulations of fame and fortune. Then? 70s Radio One DJ's hosting "Seaside Special". Now? Modern comedians hosting something which is effectively "Seaside Special". As I watch TV comedy I'm filled with a nostalgic feeling akin to that of someone living in the economically ravaged industrial wasteland of 70s Britain, hearing Supertramp's sunburnt mid-Atlantic AOR and wondering "what relevance does this have to me, and to my experience of everyday life?" And the answer transposes across 40 years; "fuck all". Yet this cycle of detachment and irrelevance continues. Amply demonstrated by the BBC decamping for another one of their annual jollys to Edinburgh, where finding someone new or fresh isn't as important as returning with more, barely indistinguishable Oxbridge gristle to fill the seats on their endless procession of smug, self-replicating, panel shows.
If, one day, I was standing in work, and I was introduced to someone who was there on "work experience" which was coincidentally being shot for a Channel 4 documentary I'd ask the Managing Director what their game was.
I've come to think that TV comedy needs a solid boot in the gonads. The parallels between what we have at the moment, and what existed in music in 1976 are obvious. Out of touch comedians whose sole target is to appear on a panel shows, rings with musicians whose sole target was to appear on Top Of The Pops. Then? Successful bands doing huge, indulgent stadium tours, playing set-lists filled with songs about the pains of being a member of a successful band, and the trials and tribulations of fame and fortune. Now? Successful comedians doing huge, indulgent stadium tours, filled with jokes about the pains of being a successful comedian, and the trials and tribulations of fame and fortune. Then? 70s Radio One DJ's hosting "Seaside Special". Now? Modern comedians hosting something which is effectively "Seaside Special". As I watch TV comedy I'm filled with a nostalgic feeling akin to that of someone living in the economically ravaged industrial wasteland of 70s Britain, hearing Supertramp's sunburnt mid-Atlantic AOR and wondering "what relevance does this have to me, and to my experience of everyday life?" And the answer transposes across 40 years; "fuck all". Yet this cycle of detachment and irrelevance continues. Amply demonstrated by the BBC decamping for another one of their annual jollys to Edinburgh, where finding someone new or fresh isn't as important as returning with more, barely indistinguishable Oxbridge gristle to fill the seats on their endless procession of smug, self-replicating, panel shows.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
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