Angry Since 1967 'to split'?

Rumours are circulating 'Angry Since 1967' will split after its next post. While the full details have yet to emerge it seems 'Angry Since' will attempt to go-it-alone, without "1967'. Word reaches us that 'Angry Since' has been  trying to gain the exclusive rights to the blog. An insider claimed the site had been "riven" with internal disagreements. Recent attempts at relaunches and "reconciliation" between the two camps had been 'abject failures'. "Angry Since' just doesn't think "1967" is doing its fair share any more". Questions as to the blog's future were further fuelled by the recent public spat when "Angry Since" claimed it was carrying '1967'. "They've contributed nothing in the last two years, beyond dangling their numerals at the end of our words". Although denials were issued, and claims the quote was taken 'out of context by the media' it seems an announcement concerning '1967s' continued participation is imminent.  

A commentator makes wild stabbing guesses at what possible outcomes await the protagonists. 

It seems incredible to consider that something which has had such a massive impact could be about to come to an end. I'm sure we can all remember the first time we encountered 'Angry Since 1967'. How we marvelled at its growth, from humble roots into the globe spanning behemoth it is now. The impact this blog has had on our lives is almost incalculable. Indeed It is hard to imagine a world without "Angry Since 1967". Like you, I find it difficult to comprehend such a thing. That said, there has been a sense a peak has been passed. Recent posts, which have been proclaimed as "stunning returns to form" by some, seem to lack the old bite, preferring (seemingly) to fixate on bewildering obscurist parodies* and in-jokes no-one gets. So what of the two camps? While "Angry Since' is most likely to succeed and prosper, it is much more difficult to see what '1967' can do on its own. Cast adrift, perhaps a career on the celebrity TV circuit awaits? What an ignominious irony that would be. One question, begging an answer, is whether the whispers about "Angry Since" sounding out other years are true. The well documented relationship which has developed between 'Angry Since' and 1979 has been a source of much speculation, and although "Angry Since 1979" does sound odd, it does have a certain comforting familiarity. The one thing we can be certain of is that in this period of uncertainty nothing is certain any more.  

* Which is exactly what this is. Although telegraphing it as such rather defeats the point I'm making**. That's why this sentence is down here. With an asterisk. 
** Although, and on reflection, not as much as actually stating the fact that I'm making a point about defeating the point***
***That's the sort of comment which could, if followed to its logical conclusion, tie people in metaphysical knots .So I'll give over.   
   

Thinking the unthinkable about Unthink

A new social networking site has set up - Unthink, After much ho-ha it's there for all to see. And? Well I'm unaccountably reminded of Current TV. Same vaguely defined, yet lofty goals contrasting with the bollox reality of their provision. Take these two examples from their about page

"Unthinker...never lose sight of their potential, hate stale thinking, never tolerate intrusive or wasteful behavior and actively participate in shaping our future."

And

"All Unthinkers ...have adopted a win-for-all attitude, People - Business - Nature, and use the UNTHINK TREE to communicate ‘In Partnership with Nature’" 

Clearly unthinking is a prerequisite for participation with this crowd, as anyone with a semblance of rational thought should wonder; what the fuck are they talking about? This reads as a cross of new age guff (complete with its crystal energy, magic beans and spiritual trees), the mission statement of the worst type of company to work for (Publicly? Cuddly. Internally? Run like a Stalinist gulag), an irony free reading of Orwell's 'newspeak' and the unspecific intonations of fortune tellers and psychics. 

I think I'll pass.     

Blogger - Singing Opera's Finale?

You may have noticed that my posting has dropped away. Two reasons for this - I'm not feeling very inspired (no change there then) and, more problematically, Google have decided to stop supporting Opera* (that's Opera the browser not the other sort, although they've probably done that as well - just for a laugh). What to say about Google? That their status as "loveable internet geeks" has been transformed to "a bunch of tyrannical fuckers, only interested in controlling and logging every single part of your online life". They bought You Tube and Blogger and introduced a browser. Then, to "simplify things" forced you to create a single account for all of them. As I'm logged into Blogger, I'm now logged into Google and You Tube. Why? Why do they think I need, or more fucking importantly, want this? But like anything you learn to deal with it. Or I did until last weekend when I logged in to post some bollox about the BBC Proms; Only to be greeted with a little thing asking me to "try the updated blogger interface". And do you know what? It doesn't work in my browser of choice - Opera. Now you could say "big deal. Download Chrome and be done with it" but I'd respond "why?" It worked previously, I didn't get any notice it was changing, so why should I? It's hard not to be cynical, but it strikes me that by forcing Opera users to switch to their browser they are, in effect, trying to undermine a competitor. Microsoft tried the same thing by blocking access to Hotmail from Opera a few years ago. It didn't end well for them. Looks like someone hasn't learned from their expensive mistake.  

So why do I use Opera? Initially it was to wind people up. A previous employer, a company who only knew the price of things, not how much they cost, decided to move from Microsoft Exchange to a thing called Zimbra for the email and calendars. Why? Because it was free and 'Open Source' - something which delighted a certain individual who'd been employed to..er..to...no it'll come to me...no....tip of my tongue...nope, 'fraid I can't work out what they did, beyond sitting in the sunshine photosynthesising and making the odd wibbling noise. So Zimbra - Open Source - it'll work with any browser except IE. So I downloaded Opera just to see. Delightfully it didn't work. Cue furrowed lower lips and burrrring noises. Then they locked down the PCs just in case we'd download porn or something. Opera updates much more regularly than other browsers. The admin guy must have spent an hour every month just getting it updated. So I have to admit I downloaded Opera entirely for badness (and before anyone gets the idea - my fate with this company had been sealed long, long before this) but, shock horror, it turned out I liked it. Now? I'm so used to the mouse gestures I find myself trying them on software which doesn't support them. Odd that. So you'd imagine in the face of this bollox from Google I'd do something similar. You'd be right   

Angry Since 1967 faces "legal challenge"

The long running legal battles between hi-tech companies took another turn this morning when Angry SInce 1967 became the latest to become embroiled. Citing "misappropriation of the capital "A", one particularly litigious company claimed that such a prominent site using a name starting with the letter "A" was likely to "cause confusion in the mind of the consumer". They further accused Angry Since 1967 of "deliberately following the first letter with three consonants, all of which which appear in the same alphabet our as our brand name. We find this particularly questionable as the word in question is also 5 letters long. There seems doubt that this is an attempt to cash in on the reputation of our brand. We will not allow any one to piggy back their brand id onto our carefully constructed image of free spirited, dope smoking, "Grateful Dead" loving, commune dwelling hippies, content to travel Southern California in a battered VW Camper, looking for somewhere to surf". In papers seen by sources they also allege "1967" used numbers which "may, or may not, at some point previously, or at some point in the future, be exploited as branding, or potential branding, for products we may or may not produce". They also point to concerns about using a word containing an "I", on the basis that some of their next generation product names may also feature a similar vowel. Commenting on this one analyst claimed that a judge would likely find in someone's favour. Or it would be thrown out. "It's an easy way of getting publicity. And it's cheaper than advertising because it generates its own copy, as page after dreary page of this nonsense gets debated and then re-debated on sites like the BBC." 

On the news, shares in both companies enjoyed a caravanning holiday in Groomsport.

Angry Since 1967 Since August 2006

I've been having some problems trying to figure out an appropriate way to look back over the first 5 years of "Angry Since 1967". A light hearted procession of anecdotes? An "Angry Since 1967 Top 50 Greatest Moments" show on Channel 4, featuring people who've become celebs since this post? A range of commemorative crockery? A book of my greatest posts, now in annotated form? A Directors cut, re-mastered, re-released, complete with "never before seen" storyboards, a commentary track and an alternative ending? Articles about how "Angry Since 1967" changed everything? A newspaper column by someone claiming they saw it first? Another claiming it isn't any good now and how they hanker for the old days? A street party? Fireworks? A big mural? An honorary degree? A week of concerts? A grandiose statue? A triumph through the streets of Belfast? Or just another pithy post, short on coherence, which makes even less sense than usual? 

Can you guess which one I finally picked?   

Now That's What I Call "Odds and Sods" Vol 20

Any who.

I look forward to the headline "Increasing Decline Steadies" as it would neatly encapsulate the nonsense of the stock market. The predictions of boom, then bust, then boom, have taken on the air of an Breakfast TV astrologer in a bad knitted jumper. With one key distinction - at least astrology has a firm basis in fact*.

I did howl at the BBC's (and others) publication of a survey which proved Internet Explorer users were thick. Not because they swallowed this nonsense hook, line and sinker, rather that it took so long for them to be finally caught out.

I was dandering around Belfast's Saturday Food Market. Among the stuff for sale was a jar of Organic Salt. Harvested, no doubt, from a free range quarry. 

*when I say "fact", I mean that in the "it's utter bollox" sense.

OMGZ! LOLZ! ROFL! WTF? ETC!

 

Move along there's nothing to see here. Although, and in fairness, at least it is a video featuring someone - Carole Hersee to be precise. Granted she's holding a piece of chalk, playing Noughts and Crosses against a toy clown, rather than telling you how many people haven't read your Facebake profile. But, as anyone who has ever clicked on any of those links which claim to do such things will know, this is probably just as accurate.  

EXCLUSIVE! AS1967 discusses the future of "Angry Since 1967" in his own words

Contraitioned sinctionlary. Dispotispic uxtirnel? Yiaps.

Today's figure pulled from the "cost to the economy" hat is

"Millions"

If ever there was an example of the bollox at the core of stories like this, then here it is. No figures, no proof, just a suggestion that something might, under certain circumstances, cost somebody something. And yet, there it is published in all its unchallenged glory, destined to be quoted as a substantiated source, not because it is a substantiated source, but because it has had this legitimacy conferred by implication; "It's on the BBC so it must be true" 

Angry Since 1967 Sky acquistion "possible"

We can exclusively reveal that Angry Since 1967 is examining its "options" with consideration to purchasing Sky. Details of the offer, which sources indicate may extend to the acquisition of a Sky Plus HD box and a multiroom subscription, have caused shockwaves within Virgin Media, who many considered the clear favourites for this lucrative contract. One analyst claimed that while "Angry Since 1967" had gone through a period of "uncertainty", the recent termination of its contract with O2 for its broadband provision and the subsequent move to Virgin Media showed an altogether more "focused stance" than they had come to expect. This decision they claim, followed by the resignation of several people in O2 reported at the time as temporary contracts ending, shows "a willingness to change".  Virgin Media seemed well poised to benefit from AS1967 new strategy, and speculation was mounting that they, rather than Sky, would be confirmed as AS1967s TV supplier. "If Sky have in secured the deal then it would be something of a surprise." Although no-one from Angry Since 1967 was available for comment, one well placed source claimed that AS1967s "reliance" on Freeview was now considered "untenable" as the "reception is bollocks" meaning they can't "record anything without it becoming a mess of pixelated interference" so they just want something which "bloody well works, even if it does cost me an extra £20 a month"

Shares in both companies remained unchanged. 

"Beleaguered" blog denies "takeover" plans on "agenda"

Beleaguered blog Angry Since 1967 has been forced to deny rumours of a takeover. Speaking earlier a spokesperson claimed "A takeover? Have you taken leave of your senses? Oh right I get it, you are now going to just ask me random questions, hoping to get a denial , the existence of which legitimises the original outlandish claim". Commenting further he also denied rumours of plans to invade China, an Angry Since 1967 manned mission to Jupiter and the invention of cold fusion using nothing more than a 7-Up soaked tampon and some chalk. Responding to this latter statement a physicist claimed Angry Since 1967's denial of involvement in cold fusion experiments would "fuel" speculation that Angry Since 1967 are on the cusp of "something", although they wouldn't be drawn if this would be sustainable cold fusion or just a sticky, faintly lemon and lime smelling, female sanitary product.  

Ravaged blog "concedes" hacking allegations.

AS1967 was embroiled in further controversy last night following an admission that it previously engaged in "hacking". This bombshell follows recent revelations about the blogs declining readership and resultant financial cut backs. Conceding the point, AS1967 admitted that "hacking" had been endemic in the past. "I now freely admit I hacked people. In my defence though, this was entirely due to my lack of skill at football, particularly went it came to tackling." Pressed on the point, AS1967 denied "hacking" still occurred. "At my age? Have you seen the shape of me? I haven't hacked anyone since I retreated back to nets".  

Troubled blog announces "cost cutting measure"

Embattled blog Angry Since 1967 has, following the publication of its latest figures, announced a range of cost cutting measures, the most controversial being a reduction in the number of vowels used per posting. Speaking exclusively Angry Since 1967 claimed the recent hike in the cost of vowels was "unacceptable" and demanded action from the government. "We think it is appalling that every time we use a vowel the government adds a 60% levy. What we are asking for, especially in light of the recent punitive increases in the cost of exclamation marks, is for the government to either pick something else to tax, or ask the vowel producing nations to up production. These recent cost increases, exacerbated by the global shortage in the lower case "u's", has encouraged speculators to move in, sensing a way to make easy profits. The Government seems unwilling to acknowledge they can help ease the pressure"

Statistics suggest 3 letters out of 5 go straight to the Government, something which has long been a source of friction. This was most visibly demonstrated during the recent "recite the alphabet slowly" campaign which brought several large regional dialects of English to a virtual halt. Campaigners claim, unlike other nations where tax breaks are available for those who use random umlauts or circumflexes, the UK is out of sync with the rest of Europe; "We are being penalised simply to fill the deficit left when the EU banned governments from taxing the use of single digit prime numbers". Angry Since 1967 would not be drawn on possible responses, although speculation is mounting that it will shortly abandon vowels altogether and start publishing its posts in Welsh.   

"Embattled" blog announces relaunch and revamp.

Following disappointing reading figures AS1967 has undergone another major revamp. In a letter meant for staff members only, the change in editorial focus, repositioning the blog as a celebrity news site, is described as "drinking at the last chance fucking saloon sunshine." It continues, claiming they have "decided to pin the blame for the decrease in readership on internet piracy and the recession, despite it being entirely our own fault". To counter this decline they claim that "after 3 seconds consideration, we've decided the one sure way to keep AS1967 afloat until it's bailed out by a Russian billionaire, is to follow the herd and fill this becalmed whale of a thing with the minutia of the lives of former soap stars, celebrity postmen and people who've featured in reality TV shows". Responding to questions about how these changes would fit with AS1967's Ofblog charter requirements, they claimed "fine, be like that. But don't blame us if no-one reads it any more and we're forced to close the blog, putting literally a single person out of work. Although technically they don't actually "work" rendering point entirely moot". 

This is the latest in a long line of increasingly desperate revamps for the troubled blog. It lost half of both its readers when it moved to being written topless. Further damage was caused when an attempt to market it as a lads blog, failed thanks to "lads" being transposed as "labs", causing bafflement and bewilderment to dog owners and experimental chemists everywhere. One expert claimed this could be a final throw of the dice "the next step is for them to become a 3D blog, although the technology to deliver this is both expensive and limited. Everyone, including those those with perfect vision will be forced to wear peculiar contraptions in front of their eyes, precariously balanced on the user with little more than ear holders and the top of the viewers nose for support. Although there has been great strides made in the performance of these devices, they are normally restricted to people who are either long or short sighted. The technology is therefore completely unproven". Analysts suggest if this revamp were to fail then the outlook is "bleak", most agreeing the likely outcome for AS1967 is for it to be used to sell Ipod accessories at greatly inflated prices.

You should, perhaps, be concerned if

- the bar you've walked into has karaoke advertised as starting at 9 am.
- you work for an organisation who've just posted a loss of £225 million.
- you work for HMV. 
- the burger you are about to eat is a tie in with a summer blockbuster.
- it claims to be something "flavour".
- your only hope of rescue is a deal with a Chinese car manufacturer.
- it costs you more than £2 a minute to answer the question you've been asked.
- their answer to 4 minus 2 isn't "2"
- it's a free scratch card with a peak rate telephone "winners hotline".
- it's damaged repaired. 
- it's reconditioned.
- the brand name isn't spelt quite the way you remember. 
- the unsolicited pop-up on the website says "trusted download".
- the healthy option has more fat and salt than the unhealthy option.
- your Orange juice has had colouring added from something that isn't an Orange.
- your fruit flavour drink contains vegetable fat. 
- it has "modified starch" listed amongst the ingredients. Unless it is wallpaper paste.
- they associate sporting prowess with drinking fermented vegetable juice.
- they associate "extreme" sports with their chemical tasting energy drink.
- it's an "extreme" sport. 
- they use a local radio DJ to advertise their products. 
- Jools Holland likes them. 
- their latest album consists of cover versions and contains the word "Songbook"  
- what they do is prefixed with the word "celebrity."
- it is referred to as a "house spirit."
- they refer to Carlsberg as a "premium lager". 

Welcome To Fear. Part XII

Death by music festival

Vaguer than Eric "Vague" McVague. The least specific person in Ambiguous-ville

Long term readers (both of you) will have probably gathered that I'm fairly direct about things. A spade is always a spade, never a non-autonomous personal excavation contrivance. Yet here I am, just about to do the very thing I don't do. Indeed as this is all I'm going to post (at this point at least) it renders whatever it is I'm referring to completely meaningless. Or rather it would be meaningless if I wasn't flagging up the fact that it isn't. 

See? 

And all I'm prepared to offer up as way of an explanation is a quote I found a while ago, which rather neatly sums things up.

"Idealism is what precedes experience, cynicism is what follows." 

Or rather it almost sums things up.   

We used to sell music.

Just to mention this in passing but HMV (remember them?) have been granted a two year stay of execution by their creditors. This comes the day after I visited my local branch and noticed that they have reduced their CDs down to two half aisles. Or, to put this into context, roughly a sixth of the space they devote to DVDs and half the space they waste on Ipod accessories. 

Them lasting another two years seems hopelessly optimistic.  

Welcome To Fear. Part XI

Death By Mobile Phone

Feedback?

I've had an feedback back from a recruitment agency. Granted they only sent it after some not so subtle cajoling. This despite a prior assurance that they didn't do business "like those other agencies you have been dealing with". "Hell", I thought "its better than nothing". Or maybe not. It seems I don't meet their "exacting requirements". Then, in a poetic demonstration of their own "exacting requirements", 10 minutes later I received the same email, this time from someone else. 

Quite.   

Welcome To Fear. Part X

Death by Vuvuzela

Welcome To Fear. Part IX

Death by nose blowing

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel. Day Three

I'm going to make a slight change to this. Now that the BBC entertainment news pages are almost now exclusively devoted to reporting / hyping Awards ceremonies I've decided only to mention those which merit mentions on the BBC's general news pages. Why? Simple. I think I've made my point.

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel. Day Two

Another thought struck me about this. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in saying awards ceremonies get three hits at coverage. Some get four. So where does this extra one come from? Announcing the make-up of the jury which decides the results. Such and such made chair of Awards Ceremony jury. So and so on Awards Ceremony jury. The stories write themselves.  

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel....

And just to prove the point. Today's other winner. Of an Award. For photography, 

The question arises though. Broadly speaking both these awards cover the same thing. So which one is better? Perhaps there should be some sort of play off? Or, in true Gadget Show / Top Gear style, a series of increasingly outlandish, and decreasingly funny challenges to decide which one is "actually" the best*. 

*Now there's an idea for a TV show. And it makes more sense than a robotic hare chasing people around a TV studio. Or at least, it makes as much sense as that does.  

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel....

And today's winner is....

Just to explain. I can't be the only one to have noticed the explosion in awards ceremonies. It seems a day now doesn't pass without someone winning something. Now I'm not going to dispute the validity of the winners winning, I mean who am I to judge? Rather I'm more interested in the fact that there are so many bloody awards to pick from now. It would be entirely possible for the BBC news site to feature surveys which prove what they were designed to prove, the latest threat to your health, how much something cost the economy and a feature on some awards ceremony. Which, if cutely managed, gets three hits - the announcement of the shortlist, the pre-announcement of the "special" winners and then the actual winners themselves. I'm not one to say it, but there is now a self perpetuating awards industry. I think the only logical way to recognise the sterling work they do is by having an award they can compete for. Then we'd finally know which one is the most worthy*. 

*Of course what confuses things is that the remit of many of these awards is defined so narrowly that there's barely enough of a choice to make a shortlist. For example one for "Best Blog Called Angry Since 1967". Not that I'd stoop to that.... 

One social media thing down, a few more to go.

I was going to write something about twitter, in the style of a twitter post. But then I realised, mimicking the 140 character limit means I
   

Today's figure pulled out of the "cost to the economy hat" is

Up to* £280 Billion per year. Or is it up to £55 Billion? Who knows?

*I love the caveat "up to". I've mentioned before the nonsense-ese this phrase encapsulates when Head And Shoulders used "up to 100%" to claim how good their shampoo was at removing dandruff.. This little term is like some fantastically powerful algebraic function which can be used to generate any end figure you like without ever having to demonstrate how you actually reached it. But it doesn't stop there. I can claim. quite accurately, the grade I achieved in may French "O" Level was "up to an A". Which, when you think about it, sounds a hell of a lot better than a "U"?

It's SPEND, SPENDS, SPENT.

Am I the only person to have noticed how the words "spend", "spends" and "spent" have become, in media parlance at least, euphemisms for wasting money? You know the sort of thing. Local council "spends" an amount on something. The inference? The money is being squandered. You can be damn sure if you see the word "spend" or a derivative of it, especially IN CAPITALS then the people writing the article don't approve of the expenditure. 

Revenge of The Odds And Sods II

Bit of housekeeping.

I see HMV has acquired the epithets "troubled" and "embattled". The word "failed" can't be too far away.   

As I mentioned yesterday I've been thinking of rebranding the site in an effort to make it more in line with the current clamour for "digital activism". To this end I'd redrafted my profile description, adding the word "aspiring". Suddenly I was transformed from a bile drenched cynic to an "edgy social commentator and aspiring Journalist". I love the magical power of words to create whichever fictional identity you want. "Lost" becomes "misplaced", "found" becomes "revealed" and "pie in the sky, fantasy you've no hope of ever achieving" becomes "aspiring". Then I decided against it. People* wouldn't realise I was taking the piss.

*I'd like to say a big HELLO to Dreamworks SKG** by the way. They were on here a couple of days ago. No doubt they were so inspired by what they read that a movie version of this site has already been greenlit. I'm looking forward to Angry Since 1967 3D. Can you get Jennifer Connelly to play the love interest please?

**Of course by Dreamworks SKG I mean someone from a domain purporting to be Dreamworks SKG, which as anyone familiar with how the internet works will know this is something to be treated with scepticism. If it was them though I suspect they were on checking to see if I had any dodgy links to download hooky versions of their movies rather than seeking inspiration.***

***It's a bit of a meander this one. God knows why. I'll put it down to too many fine German ales last night.    

Angry Since 1967 likes this.

I'd been thinking about rebranding myself as a "Digital Activist". But then I realised that there's more to activism (the whole "active" root of the word "activist" for starters) than responding to a hashtag on Twitter. If Twitter had existed during the French Revolution "#StormTheBastille" would have 400,000 followers, a You Tube channel, an app for your iphone (Angry Peasants?) and lots of likes on Facebook. 

And France would be a monarchy to this day.

The 200th*

So 200 posts then. Who would have thought it possible? Certainly not me. I reckoned I'd be bored with this blogging thing after about a month, so that I'm still posting here 4 1/2 years later is quite an achievement (obviously I use the term "achievement" in its "winning a music award presented by a magazine" or "an endeavour badge for failing to swim 10 metres" sense). Of course that I'm howling about the same things I was way back in the summer of 2006 says something as well. What that might be isn't immediately clear though. No doubt the profundity of this fact will present itself at some indeterminate moment in the future. In the meantime? Well there seems little point in worrying about it.

*Seasoned AS1967 readers will probably realise something more substantial is brewing. Although "stewing" is probably be a more accurate description. At the moment, I'm trying to make something currently unreadable into something more palatable, much as you would if you had a big bottle of Bile flavoured Quosh which has to be diluted with 5 parts water before it can be safely consumed..    
  

Today's figure pulled out of "Cost to the Economy" hat is

£280m. Per day.

Welcome To Fear. Part VIII

Death by recycled cardboard.

Welcome To Fear. Part VII

At last we know the answer to the question Dr Pepper posed. 

Yeah I know...

I want to move home. Location dependent on TV show. 

I want to stay at home, but it needs a lick of paint. Any chance? 

I've an old watch. How much will you give me for it? 

I've £20 to spend on junk at a car boot sale. Can someone help me choose something I can then sell on for a profit?

I can win money playing 50/50 or participating in a quiz where the odds are completely loaded against me. 

I think this celeb is great / bad because of something in today's paper. 

Once hailed as the most important US import on TV.

I've invited complete strangers around for dinner so I can win money.  

I've had an accident and I wasn't to blame. Can anyone help?

I want to know where I can get the best deal on insurance?  

Something more important than what we are currently reporting on is scrolling across the bottom of the screen. Look! More breaking news!

Cookery. 

More cookery. 

Rerun of twee UK crime show. 

And now the Six O'clock News.

And repeat 5 days a week.   

Today's figure pulled out of "Cost to the Economy" hat is

£27 Billion

Just One Other Thing

When TV stations can't think of anything to fill their schedules with they simply dust down old episodes of US Cop shows and hope no-one notices.

And so, finding myself in a similar position, You Tube let's me do the same.  

Angry Since 1967 Costs UK Economy Tens Of Pence.

A leading financial organisation claimed Angry Since 1967 was costing the UK economy 30p a week in time otherwise used for more productive things like watching TV, scratching your hole, or wondering if you've left the iron on. Their chief economist said "We've calculated that the time wasted reading Angry Since 1967 costs the UK economy some 30p a week. You'll note this figure is neither 29p nor 31p but exactly 30p. And if that doesn't tell you all you need to know then no amount of hinting will make it clear. I mean come on. Isn't it obvious? We just pluck these figures out of the air. It doesn't matter if it's the cost of bad weather, money wasted by people having a shit or time spent on Angry Since 1967, no-one ever asks the fundamental question of "how precisely did you work that out?" Instead they simply accept the figures we publish and build the story to fit. Yes we, and our colleagues in other companies, may have the word "Economics", "Finance", "Consultancy" or "Analyst" in our organisations name but that doesn't mean you should simply take every single word issued as the unchallengeable gospel truth. I mean, come on? No one can, with any real accuracy, know how much it costs the economy when it snows. Or rains. Or when it didn't snow. Or rain. Yet we can. To the nearest round figure. The laughs we've had watching as the media report the bollox we produce as if it was based on tangible, methodical research. Consider this. Do you think a large commercial organisation would really devote the necessary resources of time and money to produce figures they know will never be challenged? Or that adverse weather conditions somehow don't impact us, meaning that while everyone else shivers, we have the resources in staff and time to produce figures based on painstaking research?"

 When asked what the future held the spokesman said "We'll be releasing figures next next week which will make for interesting reading. We've quantified the the cost to the economy of these "cost to the economy" reports. We estimate it to be in the region of at least £37 million, or £5 million, or £5.40, although the final figure won't be known until we pick it out of our big hat". 

More than words*.

Odd one this. I have that feeling I should be posting something more substantial than another "oo-ee look at the fearmongering bollox on the BBC website" but, and this is a shocking admission, I can't think of anything. So this post is about nothing. It is a phantom, a notion of a post. I'm sure you can imagine how it would go. Howling derision, impotent finger waggling and metaphorical eye rolling directed at some seemingly unimportant thing which I kid myself into thinking reveals an inner truth, but that actually doesn't reveal the truth (inner or otherwise) at all. Now some might claim that this post says more, by saying nothing at all, than my usual 500 word rants. And that's fair enough. But then I'd have to conclude that this nebulous "some" include followers of the noted Irish philosopher Ronan Keating amongst their number.

Exactly.   

*No. The other one.