Odds and Sods

I've changed my profile thing. There's something about my current plight and the phrase "They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee" that is either deeply ironic or pathetic. So off it comes. 

I was in HMV last week. Not buying (too skint) just noseying. A couple of things stood out. Firstly Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" was £16. Remind me again why CD sales are failing? More surprisingly the new Manic Street Preachers album on vinyl was £18.99.The fight back against mp3 starts here. 

Speaking of mp3 I read yesterday Amazon had made a mistake, offering downloaded versions of albums for 29p. Leaving aside the choice of albums available, 29p is still too expensive for these low resolution facsimiles. 

I've discovered Spotify. My reservations still stand about streaming with adverts, but I'm kidding myself that it's just like a commerical radio station, but I get to pick the playlist. If it was a real commerical radio station though I suspect it would be taken off the air. I'd end up barricaded in my studio as the police broke the doors down.

Northern Ireland is now in "holiday mode". The job vacancies have packed their bags, rubbed on the factor 15 and headed south for a bit of sun, foam parties, cheap cocktails and casual sex with strangers. They'll return in a couple of weeks feeling both elated and slightly ashamed, wondering where the money went and what the strange rash is. 

 

  

The Specialist?

Still looking. Things haven't moved. One of the things that I get from talking to the agencies I trust (well up to a point) is that the skills that used to benefit me, are now actually a disadvantage. People don't want generalists in IT. They want specialists.

A generalist? Er? Well that's a good question, I suppose the unkind way to describe it s "jack of all trades, master of none"  Really though (without using terms like "helicopter view" or other phrases from the Management Bullshit Thesaurus) is that I see everything. I understand everything - at a level higher than the client, but less than a specialist. Unlike a specialist though, I see how all the specialisms fit together and how they shape the "whole" (or "hole" if you prefer. And yes it does sound like I'm talking out of it).

The majority of the jobs I see are aimed at specialists. Some I've a good chunk of what they ask for. Now given that I'm working on the assumption that the worst a potential employer can say is "no" I'll stick my CV in anyway, So far, at least, the results have been predictable. (Or rather I assume "predictable" as most of the companies who advertise online can't quite stretch to an automated acknowledgement receipt, let alone an email saying "cheers for applying but piss off". So if I haven't heard in a day or so I figure it as another another rejection. I did get one nice response from an agency saying (in words to the effect of) "stop applying for jobs with us. We don't want you. Ever". I'll reveal the name of the shower of shit responsible for this gem once I'm happily re-employed) So what to do?  Keep plugging away. I've considered doing a couple of courses in an effort to add some shine to the CV, but I've been strongly advised against this (wear sunscreen), which has dampened my enthusiasm for spending the couple of grand (I don't have) on the course I planned to do. 

So I'm left  to just get on with it. No choice really. But it is disheartening when the only opportunity the Jobcentre could conjure up today was one 60 miles away (in Omagh), for a temporary, part time IT support job, requiring fluency in Mandarin.

Like I said. "Specialist"   

Careers Advice?

Anyway I was going to post something here about how small, seemingly inconsequential decisions can have unforeseen consequences, But it I couldn't phrase it in such away that it didn't sound like a 90's TV movie about chaos theory. And no matter how much I'd like to, I can't lump the blame for my current predicament on a butterfly flapping it's wings. This thing is little better. I've been stewing over this for the past week or so and I just can't get it to make the point I'm trying to make. But I thought I'd post it anyway

I've applied for more jobs, via the new modern wonder that is the "internet". I have to say that as a tool for job hunting, the internet is unsurpassed. Well up to a point. In the very old days my job hunting would have consisted of waiting for the Belfast Telegraph to be delivered on a Friday evening. Now? I can look for a job any time I want. I'm not restricted to Northern Ireland anymore either. With all this choice, I hear you ask, why haven't you got a job yet?

Well there are a couple of answers to this, The first is that this choice isn't all that it seems. A couple of weeks ago I applied for job via one particular site. There was the usual vague spec on the description, an e-form to fill out and a place to upload a CV on. 

Roll on an hour and I got a phone call. They've got my CV and the agency want me to come in for a chat. In passing they tell me who the job is with. Now I'm someone who likes to be prepared, so I did some digging. An hour or so later I'd found the original job description the agency distilled their ad from. So far so good. Anyway after a long meeting they said thanks but no thanks, however they'd "keep their eye out" for something else. 

Of course I was a wee bit disappointed. But that's the breaks.

A day or two later I'm looking at another job site. I spy a job. "This looks good"  and clicked on the link. Strangely though it looked very familiar. Mmm. One quick phone call to this different agency (who weren't interested in me at all) confirmed it. Same job They'd just amended the Job title.

You know the old thing about not spotting something obvious until someone points it out? As far as I can now tell this same job is on a national job site 4 times and on a regional job site 9 times. Each one is subtly different but the meat is the same - a spectfic requirement for knowledge of a pretty obscure application, exposure to some fairly esoteric procedures, based in Belfast, all with the same salary range. Now either Belfast has become the cluster point for the obscure and esoteric (possible I suppose), or these 13 jobs are in fact, the same one job. 

Now I can understand the rationale behind this. It makes perfect sense to have multiple agencies chasing candidates, each one knowing that they are competiting against another agency. Nothing like a bit of competition. But I'm not sure that it's good for prospective candidates. Sometimes the choice is no choice at all. Okay maybe I've been naive about job hunting, perhaps I don't understand the realities of what it's like for the agencies, I simply don't appreciate the demands their clients make, The bottom line is I don't care. It's waste of my time and energy trying to decipher if the job I'm applying for is a reheated version of a job I applied for previously. Worse is that several of these competing agencies are in fact, one in the same.  

I'd say there were steps that could be taken to make things more transparent. Agencies should be made to name names ie. state in the ad who the job is with. At the moment it's usually treated it as a secret, only to be revealed on the pain of death (Name, Rank and Company who added job reference NI8901). This attitude serves no useful purpose. Secondly if I was using an agency or agencies to recruit then I'd insist they stick explicitly to the job description and job title I've defined, rather than let them apply their own interpretation to what you meant by a vague term like "Manager" 

To be honest this has been a pretty sharp learning curve. Now that I think about this - really who prepares you for the pitfalls of job hunting? Isn't it just one of those things that people do when they have to? Yeah I've bought a few advice books books on the subject and dug around the net, but the advice is so vague to be useless How do you find out the tricks and tips of looking for a job? And through it all whose advice should I listen to? Theirs? Mine? Stuff on the internet? Perhaps as one (er) philosopher said 

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth"

And there's the problem. Everyone knows. Everyone has a view. But no-one actually knows. Hell this is starting to sound like me dishing out advice as well.

So I will

"Wear sunscreen"

A Blast From The Past

Many years ago I was contributor to, and then editor of, a student newspaper at Queen's in Belfast. Recently, I tripped over a bag full of old issues while trying to pack my worldy possessions into cardboard boxes (see previous post). There was something cathartic about nearly falling out of a roofspace after getting tangled up the handles of a bag full of forgotten newspapers. I couldn't help but read them. And 20 years later? Amusing yet disturbing. Amusing, because of how earnest it is. Disturbing, as it seems like yesterday. Anyway I thought it would be interesting to stick an article from the paper (or "Press Release" to give it it's full name) here. To save anyone else's blushes it's something I wrote. I've made some light changes for spelling and grammar.
As a student paper there are things that need to be taken as read. Protests - check. Union politicking - check. But sometimes, between the endless articles about students waving "Honk If You Hate Loans" placards at the passing traffic, we interviewed celebrities. Truthfully I can't remember how or why I ended up speaking to Brian Cox. As editor I could have delegated. Which was what normally happened. Usually at the first sign of "fame" there'd be queue of people wanting to press the famous flesh. But, in this instance at least, I don't recall having to elbow anyone aside. I suppose back in 1990 "Ian McKellern" or "Brian Cox" were still relative unknowns. Or something. Still it made an change from spending hours (in those pre-DTP days) laying out pages at the printers, or re-writing articles into a language (broadly at least) resembling "English"
And so, without further delay, I give you 
Shakespeare Thespian meets Philistine


"Look I haven't a clue about Shakespeare — get somebody else to do it"
But my complaints were to no avail and so, photographer in tow, "Press Release's" resident philistine went to interview Ian McKellern who was recently in Belfast performing in Richard III. Unfortunately Mr. McKellern* was already taking part in an interview so instead we drafted in Brian Cox who played “King Lear” in another production. As he approached I looked at Rick (The paper's photographer), as if to say 'who the hell is this?** What am I going to ask him?' So being the probing journo that I am***, I asked him that old Chestnut 

“So what do you think of Belfast?”
Instead of going for my throat after that old cliché**** he looked calmly and said 

“Great. This is the third time I've been here. Last time I was filming (Ken) Loach's 'Hidden Agenda'".
He seemed quite pleased (to) announce it had won a prize at Cannes.
I asked him chestnut number 2 

“What's the schedule like?”
“It's an impossible, crazy schedule. Seven shows a night, week here, week there. We've been all over Britain. Europe and Japan... It's getting so we don't know where we are”.

So down to the play. King Lear? was it still relevant? I saw the look of disbelief in his eyes that I'd asked such a question.

“It's perennial brilliance doesn't change. It asks fundamental questions about life that are, if anything, more relevant today. It's both modern and classic, it transcends fashion. This is also true in Richard III. We are using and magnifying parts of it to bring out the metaphors for fascism'
. . . and off he went into long account about Richard III. Being completely unfamiliar with the play I nodded agreement, but kept my mouth shut.***** 

The interview began to flounder, so I asked old chestnut number 3.
"Did you always want to be an actor?".

“Yes. I was almost conditioned to be an actor. I grew up in the 1950's and the cinema was my minder. Sitting in a Dundee cinema watching 'On the Waterfront' something clicked I wanted to do it”
Did he enjoy working in the cinema? 

"Time to time I still get a kick out of it but the writing has declined. There's so much pap produced.”

He preferred working in the Theatre then? 

“It's more acute. It challenges perceptions. Touring makes theatre a 24 hour a day job. It's an alive, immediate and exhausting experience. The theatre can still address controversial issues - “Hidden Agenda” is unusual for a film because it deals with controversy — the shoot to kill investigations.I had a lovely time working with Ken but Belfast is an unusual city. There tends to be an avoidance of the facts here. More concentration on the positive side. There's a state of war here but people put it to the backs of their minds. I love Belfast peoples wit and humour but that can't disguise the fact there's a shadow hanging over Belfast".

Time was getting on and there was some uncomfortable 'foot shifting'. Recognising the signal that time was up I asked him about changing theatre styles.

"It's important that in your work you try to be current . . to address current issues. But not to the extent were you become hostage to fashion. Things have to balance".
(Photo Richard Adams)


*Still just a "Mr" at this point.
**Seens odd. Brian Cox is a familiar face now. In between blockbusters and TV, he crops up as a narrator everywhere. But in '90 I didn't know who he was. My kid brother did. He wasn't very impressed I didn't ask him about "Manhunter". For the first time my ignorance was displayed for all to see. You'd think I'd learn.  
***It's weird reading that now. To think I harboured dreams of being a journalist. What went wrong? 
****The above question answered a sentence later
*****In my defence I've only ever read Romeo and Juliet. For my "O" Level. I've never had the inclination or interest to ever read any more. I blame my dreary, dreary English Literature teacher. Needless to say I'm still a philistine as far as Bill's works are concerned.

Givus a job. Go on. I can do that

Two posts in as many days. Flip. I've become profilic.

I was going to post about a chat I had with an agency today, but there's not really much to report. If you've ever dealt with Recruitment agencies you'll know the form. A run through of the CV and a promise to call me back if any thing arises. Much the same as the others have said. Still the more people who are out there with my CV looking at jobs the better. 

As they say "the more the merrier"  

I'm back

Since my last post things have changed - quite considerably. I'm now the guts of 400 miles further west and north of where I was before. Unfortunately the credit crunch(tm) claimed a casualty much closer to home than I expected. Okay that's not true. It was expected. Now I don't propose to go into the why's and wherefore's of what happened, other than to say that being right isn't any consolation. I think it's more constructive to focus my energies on the future rather than dwell on the past. So after 5 1/2 years I find myself back where I started. Well kind of. Older? Certainly. Wiser? Definitely. I'd actually say that I'm not the same person I was in 2003, but a little project that I'm entertaining myself with, suggests I'm same person I was 20 years ago, albeit with less hair and more chins.

One good thing that has come out of this is a long conversation I had with a recruitment consultant recently. Truthfully I learnt more about job hunting in two hours than in the previous 15 years. It certainly gave me an insight into the mechanics of recruitment agencies, how they work, their expectations compared to my expectations and how their agenda will almost always differ from mine. Very interesting. And something that I've put into practice when dealing with them.

I'll update this as and when. I'm not saying that normal service is suspended (it isn't) it's just you might see more steam being vented here (I suspect about recruitment agencies who advertise on job sites yet can't quite manage an automated acknowledgement email when they get an application or companies who ask you to put confidential information (DOB, NI number, Address etc) on non-secure websites 

The day the music died...

There's hardly a week goes by now when people are decrying that it's the end of music as we know it. CD sales are down, piracy is endemic and the entire music industry is frantically thrashing around trying to find some way of stemming the tide. Usually this manifests itself in the head long rush to offer new ways of offering music via the internet in the ubiquitous mp3 format. Now I don't pretend to understand the complexities of this, nor am I really that interested, however it strikes me that the problem the music industry faces is broadly due to mp3. Normally when people make statements like this, they use the term “mp3” in the same way “CD” or “vinyl” was used in previous generations. I'm not using it in this sense. No I think the problems lie with the limitations of the mp3 format itself.

So why do I think this? I need to put this into context. Way back in the 1980's CD was introduced, becoming the de facto music delivery format. Neat shiny discs delivering music in a robust, high quality package, with sound quality that has only recently been surpassed - but more of that later.

Roll on a few years and CD's main competitor Compact Cassette was starting to look, well lets be blunt a we bit clunky, but as it was the only real way to deliver music on the move it had its place. Realizing that the writing was on the wall two of the companies who had most at stake with cassettes (Philips the inventor of the format and Sony the people who gave us the Walkman) started working on replacements. Each came faced the same problem – people, used to the sound of CD wanted something that sounded as good as CD, but without the bulk. Philips, in a brilliant, if doomed, piece of lateral thinking came up with a digital version of the standard compact cassette. Sony used the CD template and came up with Mini Disc. So far so different. But what these two companies realized was that to fit digital music on their formats they'd have to reduce (or compress) the amount of information stored. And the first mp3-esque formats were introduced. Each one worked on the belief that around 90% of the sound information on a CD was masked meaning that the file sizes could be reduced considerably, allowing music tracks to fit on these more compact formats, with their reduced storage capacity (there's a more technical explanation for this but I'll end up boring myself let alone anyone else reading this). When they were launched the publicity blurb told us that “they sound as good as CD”

Which, and not to beat about the bush, was utter, utter bollox. They barely sounded as good as FM radio. 

Roll on a few years. DCC, died on it's arse. Mini Disc struggled on in the face of newly introduced CD copiers. Compressed music seemed to have been consigned to the dustbin. What possible use was there for music tracks that jettisoned 90% of the detail so that the size of the file was small enough to fit on devices with tiny storage capacities? 

And then, someone realized there was a use. The the old days of dial-up modems downloading any big file was a slow, unreliable process. It didn't take long for someone to put two and two together. Small music files, slow download speeds where made for each other. Further sound quality wasn't that important as people would only ever listen to their downloaded music through the (appalling) speakers supplied with their PC's so it wouldn't be an issue. And anyway, we where told “mp3 sounds as good as CD”. 

Just before we go any further here I think its worth nailing that lie. - mp3 sounds as good as CD only if you need your ears syringed. There is no mid range. The mp3 sound is very much like the sound you would have got if you tweaked an old graphic equalizer, putting the bass and the treble up full and putting the bits in between down low. It is utterly crap. But if your idea of hi-fi is a stereo that costs £99 from tescos or one of those god awful ipod dock things well. Don't believe me. Find a track you like. Rip it to mp3 – even at the highest setting. Play the mp3 version against the CD version. Pretty conclusive*.... But I digress. 

All very interesting (or not as the case may be) but what does this have to do with the end of music as we know it? For the last 10 years or so the media has perpetuated the myth that mp3 sounds as good as CD. Therefore why should I buy a CD in a shop when the mp3 I download for free from a dodgy file sharing is just as good? And what does the music industry do? Do they try and counter this? Do they say mp3 has it's place, alongside CD, filing the role that cassette used to? No. Instead they go on a head long rush to release more stuff via the internet, trying (and largely failing) to sell mp3's (which sound as good as CD's remember) which people can get for free elsewhere. And what happens? CD sales fall, they release more tracks on mp3, tracks people can get for free elsewhere, which means fewer people buy CD's and so on and so forth. 

The demarcation between legitimate and illegitimate downloads vanishes. And the record companies are complicit in this. And it's too late. If they think that allowing gimmick websites to offer the albums for free if people listen to some advertisements, or charging a monthly subscription for the privilege of streaming some low resolution approximation of an album is going to save them then it is proof of the old saying. “There is no worse delusion, than self delusion” If on the other had they said buy CDs. They are the same price as these downloads, offer better quality sound, you can copy them to whatever device you like and you get something tangible to hold onto then they aren't competing with the people who are offering the music for free. 

But this won't happen. The die is, as they say, cast. 

Lets make no mistake about it. Mp3 is an old crap sounding technology that was only used because of technological limitations that existed a decade ago. And yet we are stuck with it. While it's too early to say that CD is dead, it is obvious that the hi def audio formats that were designed to replace CD (DVDA and SACD) are dead (if you ever get the chance to hear either of these going take it. Then scratch your head why people don't / won't buy then) . And why? For the first time it's because they are better than what has gone before. Let me put it a different way. Today people are falling over themselves to buy High Def TV's and Blu ray players – because they are better than what we've had before. They improve the viewing experience. Mp3 makes the experience worse. It's comparable having a device that could show thousands of TV channels but only in black and white.

No doubt, though someone would tell us “Black and white? It looks exactly the same as colour”  





*if you can't hear a difference between the two pop along to Boots or any reputable high street chemist and invest in some some cotton wool buds. 

Something new and / or currently popular "causes health risk"

"Something new and / or currently popular" causes health risks claimed a Doctor. Writing somewhere they said "something new and / or currently popular" can have a detrimental effect on the health of those participating, using, looking at, thinking about or wearing this thing that is new and / or currently popular. Symptoms include amongst others general malaise, hyper activity, loss of appetite, hunger pangs, dandruff, baldness, loss of vision, tennis elbow and fallen arches"

The Doctor also claimed "something new and / or currently popular" has had proven history of being risky to health "everything from ra-ra skirts, Rubic's cube, the Walkman, platform heeled shoes, skateboarding, riding a BMX, travelling on trains going faster than 15 miles an hour, television, diddly boppers, Heely's, the internet, trainers and indoor toilets have contributed to the current state of the general public's health. Although this "new" new and / or currently popular thing was particularly dangerous." They added "the risks are clear, people should do everything to lessen them. Take frequent breaks and drink plenty of water. Alternatively people could simply not engage in, wear, look at, or use this "new and / or currently popular thing" until it's been superseded by the next new and / or currently popular thing.  At this point all symptoms will vanish"

Although stopping short of demanding a ban on "something new and / or currently popular", the Doctor stated that as long as "new" "something new and / or currently popular" things continued to arise then health professionals would point out the risks as quickly as possible, conveniently blaming them for all humanities ills and, more importantly, providing an opportunity for getting their ugly bakes on daytime TV or, better still,  being quoted as an authority on the topic in the lifestyle sections of the Daily Mail.  

Breaking News. New Post On Angry Since 1967.

Sky's fixation with breaking news reached a new low on the evening of 31st December when at the stroke of midnight the yellow banner told us "London Celebrates 2009". Now call me "picky" but that isn't quite breaking news. Breaking News in this instance would have been "No one celebrates New Year. People finally realise New Years Eve is a complete bucket of fuck".


Of course the point is if Sky deem one day ending and another commencing as "news" then they should run Breaking News "New Day Starts" every night at midnight.  
Watching the coverage of the Obama parade last week we were treated to the unedifying sight of BBC reporters killing time until the parade started. One reporter was asked "can you speculate on what you expect to see?" Unfortunately the answer wasn't "A frigging parade, you moron". No we got something about "crowds" "car" "president" "bands".  Of course we now take this type of crap in our stride. The inanity of it just bypasses us. It doesn't register when reporters are asked to speculate on what either going to be in front of them shortly, or worse is in front of them now. Nor does it seem unusual for two reporters to speculate together, usually the one in the studio acquiesces to the one at the scene. Of course the simple fact there is a reporter at the scene makes them an expert, regardless of the fact that they've only just arrived or can't tell us anything that someone with eyes in their head couldn't work out from the pictures. But the reporter at the scene is able to tell us what's going on. They may have only have just arrived but in the 10 minutes since they got there they've managed to get the pulse of the community and feel so ingratiated within it that they can speak on it's behalf. "The community has been deeply impacted by this" as they report the latest back street tragedy. How the frig do they know? They can't. But they say it anyway. Because that's what they'd like to think the "community" they are in would think that way. They become experts in an instant. Much like the named columnists who suddenly become experts on things they know nothing about. By the end of this week, columnists will be pontificating about something that today they are completely ignorant of.

Another news bugbear is how people are captioned on TV programmes. Not "famous" people but rather those who happened to be in the vicinity. There is no programme worse at this than BBC Breakfast. In recent weeks we had some girl, sharing Bill and Sian's cosy little sofa*, whose name was captioned with the word "teenager" beneath it.  For those, presumably, who don't know what a teenager is, or what one looks like. Cheers for that, The next time I see a girl with a plummy accent and spots I'll know what the name for such a creature is. It's "a teenager".

*You know BBC Breakfast really gets on my tits. It's a fucking awful, awful programme. Bill (it has to be "Bill" not Bill Turnbull) and Sian (ditto) sit on that frigging sofa radiating patronising smugness that if harnessed could probably curl the toes of most of the Western world. It's not news, it's info-tainment. When it's serious "Bill" furrows his brow. For twenty seconds. Then it's back to plugging some BBC talent show, tutting about Marks and Spencer latest sales figures, looking earnest when the house trained doctor appears, a wee bit of  joshing with the sports presenter, then it's over to Carol for the weather (which come rain, hail or sun she delivers in tone of someone pleasuring themselves with a Black and Decker drill on the hammer setting). This programme is so utterly fucking worthless it makes GMTV look authoritative. I'll bet that's a sentence that's not been written too many times in the past. It takes a special skill, an ability that should somehow be rewarded, to make a programme that is actually worse than a predecessor that featured Russell Grant. So well done all concerned.
  

The Sound Of No One Listening

You know one of the things I dislike about blogs is when you find one you like and the person writing stops updating. It's ironic that this one has gone the same way. I don't know why. I suppose it's much like when you got a diary. For the first couple of weeks your enthused with writing all the minutae of the day. As time progresses though, well it becomes less of joy and more of a chore.

Not that this is a chore, there's still just as much bile beating in my heart as there was when I started this little thing, there just isn't the same will. The word “meh” seems a good away of describing it as any.

Of course I still post on the net. It would be interesting to count up the amount of stuff I've actually posted around the internet. I reckon if I totaled up the 1000 posts there, the 4000 posts somewhere else, the posts on boards that don't exist anymore, the posts on boards that shouldn't exist anymore or the places I've been banned from (you know I don't care. 2000AD is shitter now than it has been in 15 years and the last three Porcupine Tree albums have been utter crap. Deal with it.) plus the assortment of other stuff out there I reckon it would probably amount to three or four books worth of stuff. While a collection of my writing probably wouldn't have much broad appeal i would be fascinating to see those first tentative posts on the old Spaced forum from 2001. (I think they were about Flash Gordon. Go figure)

But I digress. The point is that I do post on the internet a lot, I just don't post very much here. Which is puzzllng as this is the only place where I can stick things without someone going “yer taking out yer hole” - well people can write that (they haven't) but I can decide whether it appears or not. Perhaps I like the debate, perhaps I like the company, perhaps there's other reasons, but mainly I think it's because here it feels like I'm taking to myself..

Which I am. So you'll excuse me if the next rant I post seems reflect this.

Back to life, back to reality

Nothing much to report. Okay then just a couple of things then.

Currently reading "Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Just Shit?". Don't remember writing this book but it does sound (a lot) like what's on this blog. If only I hadn't abandoned the old, traditional styles of communication in favour of a blog I'd have a nice  quote from the Guardian on the back of a best selling book I'd written.

Perhaps I should just make a Guardian quote up for my blog  "sour, miserable whinging that would make a baby panda cry. Try beating youself with a stick. It would be better crack than reading this shit"

Anyway I'll stick more up soon. Including the much anticipated "Clapping At Lottery Numbers" more "I Frigging Told You So's" and "The Rise of the Experts" which is a pun (a bad pun granted) only about three people will get

 

 

Mine's better than yours

Post purchase reassurance. Not a thing many people have ever really heard of. But it does exist.

The buying process is a complicated thing, more complicated that you’d ever realise. Not because the steps to actually owning something are “complicated” rather that people rarely stop to think what these processes actually are. Indeed we’ve become so used to the process it simply doesn’t register. The “want” the “need” the “justification” and then the “purchase” are all so well ingrained in us that it seems automatic, a reflex action.

Of course it isn’t. It’s wrong to overstate that people are manipulated into buying products, but it is equally wrong to suggest that it is something free from external factors and pressures. Of course we are aware of advertising, but in the main people claim to be “unaffected” by it’s teasing, tantalising and temptations.

Which, is of course, utter rot.

You buy something because there is a need. The need may be that you have to eat, or the need may be that you want a games console. One is biological one is entirely mental.

Of course what advertising doesn’t really deal with is what happens once you’ve bought the thing. You’ve swallowed the bumpf and that shiny new consumer durable is now proudly residing in your front room. Now what?

That’s were “post purchase reassurance” raises it’s head. Put simply it’s that thought, “have I bought the right thing?” Now this manifests itself in a variety of ways. Perhaps the most obvious and depressingly common is something I’d refer to as “mine’s better than yours”. Even a casual browse of the internet will see how much of cyberspace is devoted to sites which can be boiled down to this simple phrase.

It’s part of human nature for people to seek out others with common interests and is nothing new. However I wonder if people whose common interest is a slickly marketed consumer durable realise just how odd a phenomena it is? More so how downright peculiar it is attacking others who’ve chosen a different consumer durable. This isn’t corporate evangelism; it’s a corporate inquisition. I know I’ve touched on this before but as religion declines I wonder if it is being replaced with a doctrine of loyalty to corporations? Again people deny this, “no” they state solemnly “I can see through the corporate hype, mine is definitely better than yours”. And of course it is.

Now you may think that doesn’t happen, people aren’t that stupid. But they are. Just to prove it I conducted a little experiment on a forum I occasionally post on just to see what would happen. Now this wasn’t a particularly scientific experiment but the response was interesting. I offered an alternative to the received wisdom. It didn’t take much. I was wrong. No explanation was given, I was simply wrong. Theirs “was better” all backed-up with evidence from other “mines better than yours” websites. The reaction to daring to suggest they’ve made the wrong choice gets to the core of “post purchase reassurance”.

Perhaps before the internet you just dealt with it. I’ve bought it, I’ve got to live with it.. But I can’t really believe that’s true. The myriad magazines that predate the internet demonstrate that this as long been a feature of what has become know as consumerism. “I’ve bought the right thing because a magazine dedicated to the product tells me so”.

However the internet has merely provided a new vehicle for people to ask for, and receive validation, from others who’ve looked for and received the validation. And as this is what you are specifically looking for, this is what you’ll specifically find. But the whole thing of defining yourself by the consumer durables you have and the validation you think you get from get from strangers because you own it is a thoroughly depressing thought.

I wonder what it says?

Nothing good.

But none of this matters. You might as well be arguing with a Canary about Schoenberg’s theories on serialism. “Their” one is always going to better than “my” one. In the same way that “my” one is better than “theirs”

New REM album...."a triumphant return to form"

or so the Independent reckons

And of course it is. Just like their last three albums have been "triumphant returns to form" or every single Oasis album since "What's The Story" or the rest...

We all bought "Automatic For The People", we all bought Moby's "Play", we all bought Air's "Moon Safari" we all bought "What's The Story". Etc. Etc. Etc.

Some of us were so impressed we bought their next new album.

Oh dear......

Of course the album that followed the follow up (ie. the one we didn't buy because it's predecessor was such utter crap) were invariably hailed as a "triumphant return to form".

No-one listened. Or, rather, no-one believed it.

We all know a band reaches a creative peak. Slowly and relentlessly though this passes. Some do the decent thing and split (only to reform a couple of years later) others just provide evidence of the law of diminishing returns.

Returns which are no less just because some hack in a newspaper says otherwise, or rather tells us something they've told us about every follow up to the popular one.

So the next REM album is almost certain to be a triumphant return to form. I guarantee it.

I'll be back

And indeed I am, well for the moment anyway. I've been innudated with worried emails "where are you" they ask? Ok that's not actually true the only thing I've had here is a spam link to getting "a better erection", which is one more email than I got in the previous 18 months. Just goes to show not even the spammers like me. (Low self esteem? Yip)

Any way I've been rereading some of the old nonsense I've posted here and most of it still amuses me, however I've noticed that it does read like a tirade of "whinging". So to counter this I'll be mentioning things I like. Yes it is hard to credit but there are things I like.

Really.

They do exist.

Hard to believe I know.

Obviously it would be nice if someone, after reading what I thought decided "I might just give that a go" and then post here saying "wow you've great taste" but that rather depends on two key things. Someone actually being bothered and more importantly, someone actually reading this bloody thing.

Still the spammers may enjoy the recommendations.

So if you need a tune to keep you going while composing your email touting the cheapest viagra on the net I'd recommend "Industry" by The Modern. Think an updated Human League / OMD but without the obvious attempts at replication which Ladytron (and their like) are so guilty.

He hasn't gone away you know...

And I haven't.

I've just been busy. Very busy.

One question. Why did it feel like I was the first person to ever move house? It was like no-one had ever done it before.

"You wanna do what?"
"Move you say?"
"What's that then?"

Perhaps I'd just be happier if I'd just attached some balloons to my worldly possessions. I mean everyone knows that if you stick a balloon on something it means "fun". So, for example if you have a rusty 1988 Vauxhall Astra, the simple addition of balloons transform it into a fun rusty 1988 Vauxhall Astra.

This rule applies many things. A party isn't fun until you attach some balloons. But perhaps there are just some things that even a balloon, with all it's cheery inflated "fun-ness" can't fix. Funerals, for example.

And house moves.

Cheeses Christ?

There's been an ongoing advertising campaign for Philadelphia cheese, based on the conceit that it's "heavenly". So we've had Angels eating the stuff in surrounded by the paraphernalia of your classic version of Heaven - clouds, pearly gates, harps, the usual. So far, so what?

Until the new one.

The angels we've grown to know and love as the campaign has progressed end up in a being questioned by the heavenly police in a their heavenly police station.

And this got me thinking.

Why are there police in heaven when bad people go to hell?


Next time - cheering at Lottery numbers and what ever happened to....?

Ahhh Comfort....

Anyway I don't subscribe to all the Sky Channels. I scrubbed the Movies and the Sports a long time ago. The "music" channels (one for another day) and the kids went next, then the news and lifestyle as the "shite" to "good" ratio was too high.

Recently (i.e. last week) I happened to catch one of the more vaunted new channels - one which exploits the age of new media - You Tube, Blogging, Flickr, Social Networking and the rest of the buzz words people who haven't the first notion of what they actually are use in an effort to seem "in touch"

Current TV

As they say on their website

"Current is about what's going on: stories from the real world, told by you. We slice our schedule into short segments that we call "pods" — each just a few minutes long. You'll see profiles of interesting people on the rise, intelligence on trends as they spring up around us, and international news from new perspectives. And much of it comes straight from you"

It somehow reminds me of something I've written in jest recently. So I surfed (no pun) to Channel 193 and what did I see....?

An advertisement for Comfort Fabric Conditioner.


"..new perspectives"?


My hole.

Happy Birthday to Angry Since 1967

Yes it's been a year - okay I know it hasn't but as I won't be anywhere near the internet on the actual day so I thought I'd post it now. It's either that or look out the window at the rain.
Usually with things like this there is a wistful look back over the previous 12 months, followed by a pithy prediction list of things to come.

Fuck that.

I will reflect on a couple of things though. I've only just realised that I have a complete free hand here. I can post whatever aul bollocks I like, there's no-one going "you can't do that" or pointing out my "clumsy sentence construction". The other thing is I think I've lost sight of what I'm doing here and what the point was. Fortunately I don't intend trying too hard to remember. Yes there was a point, but it's not really important anymore.

And so with that in mind.

I watched a BBC thing last night about British costumed dramas. Of course it was turgid aul wank, with a procession of movies set in the themeparked, airbrushed, cosy middle class, sub Jane Austen, ghetto-ed version of past the British film industry has been stuck since - well ever. I wasn't expecting a critical reappraisal so I wasn't too disappointed when the great and the good came out to collectively coo at these movies. The clear implication of the contributions (including one from someone called Daisy Goodwin who was described as a writer and broadcaster (hurrah for you Daisy) was that all they were all great. And who am I to disagree? I'm not a member of the great or the good and I'm certainly not a writer or a broadcaster ( Am I a blogcaster though?) so my opinion counts for nothing, as I ain't on the TV and as I don't write a column in a newspaper.

It's sobering realisation. So my mission statement for the next year is to embrace the fact my opinion counts for three fifths of fuck all.

Clarification

The editorial team at Angry Since 1967 made the following statement.

"Over the past few days there has been speculation in the media that Angry Since 1967 is a fake blog. We'd like to take this opportunity to assure our loyal reader that Angry Since 1967 is real and that the allegations I've just made up are entirely false. We'd also like it be noted as a matter of public record that the suggestion that "Phil" is a pseudonym is completely without foundation. Accusations "Phil" is in fact Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, yer man from the news, you know whatisname, the tall patronising bloke on Breakfast, or anyone else for that matter are completely false. Depressingly "Phil" exists, and in real life, is exactly how you'd imagine him (okay wee bit fatter but certainly not as old).

Angry Since 1967 remains focused on it's primary goal and is looking forward to celebrating it's first birthday at the end of August"

Ends.

Angry Since 1967 Web Expansion Accelerates Pace

Angry Since 1967 has announced the launch of additional Angry Since 1967 blogs. Phil, CEO and Chairman of Angry Since 1967 Group, said these "demonstrate the commitment Angry Since 1967 has to delivering it's brand of incoherent, inarticulate rants to as wide an audience as possible." He added "The new blogs will continue to be part of the basic Angry Since 1967 package and will remain available to all subscribers at no additional charge. These are exciting times for the Group and we hope to make further announcements soon"

These include

Angry Since 1967 YO! - Poured into a pair of hotpants, Angry Since 1967 YO! goes beyond the media stereotypes and gets down with the homeboys from the lower east side. Blinging the blogsphere with all that's hip in the world of R'n'B, gangsta and rap, Angry Since 1967 rediscovers it's roots in the projects and sticks it to the man (uh-huh)

Angry Since 1967 After Dark - Angry Since 1967 discovers it's sensual side. All posts are written topless.

Angry Since 1967 Beyond - Concentrating on the realm of psychics and mystic beliefs, Angry Since 1967 Beyond investigates the world of spiritualism. Written with the assistance of Spirit bloggers, reknowned psychics and ouija boards, scepticism levels are set to zero as vague, non-specific advice is passed off to the recently bereaved as communications from beyond the grave.

Angry Since 1967 Blogstation - 4 bloggers, each with their own interests available to blog 24 hours a day. Things get more steamy at night when everything is up for discussion with our willing, uninhibited bloggers who can satisfy all your blogging desires and fantasises. Treat yourself to a private blog for a small extra fee.

Angry Since 1967 Science - Looking at how science and technology effects us all, Angry Since 1967 Science investigates the big science topics of the day, seeking to explain and illuminate. Highlights include "Blowing Up Blogs" "How Blogs Get Made" "Blogs Exploding" "Extreme Blog Explosions" "Mega Extreme Blog Explosions", "How Blogging Will End In An Explosion" "Blog Explosions Investigated" "We Make Custom Motorbikes In America" and "Despite Digging Up A Field We Only Found Three Pieces Of Broken Pottery. But From This We Can Tell There Was Big Castle With A Moat And Everything. Here's A Picture Of What It May Have Looked Like"

Angry Since 1967 Nature - Examining the current precarious state of the world around us and the impact Humanity has had on the animals we share this planet with, Angry Since 1967 Nature is aiming to be the definitive resource for things environmental. Launching with a mass blog and a free Music Festival featuring the cream of the worlds music acts who'll be jetting in from around the globe to perform in a specially cleared area in one of the last remaining unspoilt parts of the Amazonian Rainforest, Angry Since 1967 Nature seeks to set the Environmental agenda using it as an vehicle to peddle it's own slightly crazed political objectives.

However the rumoured quiz blog Angry Since 1967 No One Can Win This Quiz As It's Just A Money Making Scam has been put on hold following the recent controversy surrounding the use of premium rate telephone lines by TV companies.

Analysts predict that Angry Since 1967 is on the brink of a major breakthrough into the mass market. Tissu Olies, blog specialist at media brokers Pretend, Madeup and False claimed "Angry Since 1967 is well placed to deliver premium content across a wide range of new media and portable personal devices, however this makes them open to the possiblity of a takeover by a larger player in the market". Down finished up on the annoucement.

Angry Since 1967 Expands Web Presence

Press Release

Angry Since 1967 Expands Blog Presence.

Angry Since 1967 is pleased to announce the establishment of a range of new blog sites. Building on the award winning Angry Since 1967 template, these new sites will expand the brand into exciting new fields covering key demographic segments. Each one will retain the unique attitude and edginess that the original Angry Since 1967 has become renowned.

The first of the new Angry Since 1967 sites is Angry Since 1967+1, a time delay blog that runs behind the main Angry Since 1967 site. This will lead to a range of different blogs, developing an online bouquet of sites, focused on different Internet sectors.

Future sites include

Angry Since 1967 Minus 1. A blog which will publish Angry Since 1967 before it’s written

Angry Since 1977 – Edgy real life attitude for people who think lifestyle supplements in the Sunday papers are a key guide to modern living, but with an anarchic punk slant. Never mind the bollocks you’re only thirty, not dead yet TM

iAngry iSince i1987 – a totally radical blog that is in tune with the youth of today. Written in the language of the street, this blog will cover the wicked issues, which matter to young adults. A blog allowing young people set the agenda, treating them as adults without being patronising or condescending.

More Angry Since 1967 – This will have a mix of old favourites from Angry Since 1967 plus posts from other blogs we’ll pass off as our own

Angry Since 1967 US – The same as Angry Since 1967 but using American spellings.

Angry Since 1967 Business – A blog featuring random numbers scrolling along the bottom, top, middle and diagonally across the page.

Angry Since 1967 Last For Breaking News TM – Aimed a people who understand breaking news isn’t necessarily important news.

Angry Since 1967 Celeb – All the news that’s fit to print about people you’ve never heard of, from shows you don’t watch, going to bars and events and shagging other people you’ve never heard of, from other shows you don’t watch.

Angry Since 1967 Music –This will be a music lifestyle blog with features such as “Pimp My Blog”, “Blog Performing Painful Stunts”, “At Home With the Blog” and “The Real Blog”

Angry Since 1967 Hits – An interactive music blog where the reader can ring in to request a certain blog posting to appear. Readers can also put big shouts out to the rest of their posse allowing them to max their Saturday night via the text banner at the side of the blog.

Angry Since 1967 HV1 – This is aimed at the discerning music fan treating then as well-informed, passionate individuals with varied and eclectic tastes. Designed for those who can see through the hype and aimed at the male 30-45 music fan this blog will discuss the impact of artists ranging from Tina Turner to Elton John. Special weekend events will also be a key feature. Several already planned include “The Top 100 Tina Turner Songs”, “Top 100 Elton John Songs” and “HV1 All Time Top 100 Elton John and Tina Turner Songs”

Angry Since 1967 History – Covering the entire scope of human history, this blog seeks to educate and inform. Launch highlights include “Hitler’s Blog”, “Hitler’s Secret Blog”, “Hitler’s Last Blog Uncovered” “Blogging from the Fuhrer Bunker” and “Hitler’s Henchmen – The Blogs”


Angry Since 1967 Direct – A shopping blog. Need a vacuum strong enough to lift bowling balls? Tired of those instant gazebo's which don't deliver? Can’t find a Miracle Blender to suit your needs? Jack La Lane Liquidiser gone faulty? Too lazy to join a gym? Rotisserie worn out? Don't trust Chef Tony? Doggy Steps not living up to expectations? Why take the chance? Buy direct from Angry Since 1967 your guarantee of kwalitie



Notes for Editors
Angry Since 1967 has quickly established itself as a key blog winning the Blog Of The Year Award for Blogs called “Angry Since 1967” from the entirely fictitious Kinda Official Sounding Consumer Organisation 2007. With a loyal following numbering single figures Angry Since 1967 is considered completely irrelevant, existing purely for my amusement and as an outlet to vent my bile in the vain hope it will reduce my blood pressure

It's just like VHS vs Betamax (2)

The cliché repeated within 24 hours
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6744335.stm

It's just like VHS vs Betamax (1)

As predicted in January
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6718145.stm

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel, even an Eric would suit me well.

I've decided it's time I won an award. Now obviously I'm never going to win anything for this rubbish, so in time honoured tradition I've simply created a completely new award, and an organisation to present it.So "Kinda Official Sounding Consumer Organisation" asked the Angry Since 1967 editorial team the following question;

Of the blogs called "Angry Since 1967" which one is your favourite?

Now I don't want anyone to think that simply because the editorial team consists of me "Angry Since 1967" was a shoe in to win. It took a long time to collect, collate and produce the result.

But I'm delighted to announce that Angry Since 1967 was voted "Blog Of The Year" by Kinda Official Sounding Consumer Organisation. This means I'm able to display their logo on my site.

I feel so validated.

To be honest I'm humbled by this award. I hope that I can live up to it.

Nice song, shame about the video.

Years ago there was a programme on BBC 1 with the Hairy Cornflake himself Dave Lee Travis (christ the 80's were an awful time) which would show pop videos for songs that predated pop videos. So we were er treated to videos for songs like Pilot's "Magic" (featuring a Pilot doing magic tricks. Genius) and so on and so on.

Roll on 20 odd years and now anyone with access to a PC and some video editing software can replicate the idea behind this formidable show and make their own videos for songs that don't have videos. Nowadays this artform (!) forms a significant part of YouTube (clearly the people behind this site weren't from Belfast), taking pride of place beside videos of people falling over, Star Wars parodies and parodies of Star Wars. Never one to miss a passing bandwagon Angry Since 1967 Productions is proud to present two "Videos For Songs Which Don't Have Official Videos(TM)"

The first of these is for the Boards Of Canada track "Peacock Tail". Now the production technique is a closely guarded secret, however the fact that it is shot in "Waving-a-mobile-phone-with-a-video-camera-in-front-of-the-TV-while-Carl-Sagan's-Cosmos-is-playing-then-editing-the-results-in-the-worst-free video-editing-software-I've-ever-seen-A-Vision" may offer some hints as to how it was produced





The second video is for the Boards Of Canada tracks "Bocuma" and "Roygbiv". These tracks have always reminded me of the music used for schools programming in the 1980's. Most of the programmes had title music which fell into one of two broad categories - Radiophonic Workshop or Derek Griffiths. Boards of Canada fall into the "Radiophonic" category. Why there aren't a hundred bands citing Derek Griffiths as a major influence is little short of baffling. In this day of tribute bands isn't there room for a Derek Griffiths one? They could do all the classics "Heads And Tails", "Build Yourself A Word" and of course the seminal "Magic E". Anyway this video is cobbled together from some clips I managed to get from YouTube, and includes the opening titles of top programmes such as "Going To Work", "Near and Far", "Picture Box" and "Near And Far"

Sad News

RIP Massimo Belardinelli who died in March 2007

Odds and Sods

I haven't updated this in a while so...

Congratulations to Maxwell Someone who was introduced to the viewers of BBC Breakfast on Friday 13th as a "Broadcaster". Now to be honest I have no idea who this is and I wasn't interested enough to hang around to find out.

In case your wondering where the "Our Survey says" thing has vanished to, well the unrelenting predictability was starting to get on my wick. Needless to say the BBC (and others) are still publishing surveys without even the most cursory examination of the data or methodology. Worse no-one (apart from me) seems to capable of treating the results with any scepticism. So in the last week we had a survey (commissioned by a company flogging security solutions to retailers) which claimed customers are reluctant to spend money with companies which have experienced security breaches with their electronic payments. Which is bollocks. Customers are reluctant to spend money with companies who make these security breaches public. I've heard stories about some well known organisations (unsurprisingly not mentioned in this survey) which would curl your hair and empty your bank account at the same time. So all this result demonstrates is "what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve".

In a similar vein the much vaunted Chip And Pin system has been exposed as not being quite as fullproof as we've been told, with thousands of motorists finding their card details passed to Tamil guerillas. God things have changed. In the old days all you would get with your petrol was some vouchers for either World Cup coins or worse, tumblers. Now it's a free surface to air missile for the Tamils with every 50 litres.

I suppose if you're buying petrol from Esso you could actually be putting a Tiger in a Tank

Broadcast(er) News

I'd just like to be the first to congratulate the following on their attainment of the status of "Broadcaster."

Lowri Turner - She was awarded this by BBC Breakfast News the week before last.
Kate Garraway - the happy event was announced by The National Lottery: The People's Quiz.

A special mention for Newton Emerson. He was introduced on BBC 2's "Hearts And Minds" as a "Commentator". So close. Better luck next time Newton.

Er.....

How do you attain the status of a "broadcaster?" For example when Sky News or News 24 review the newspapers they invariably describe the reviewer as a writer and broadcaster. The term "writer" is clear enough but what precisely is the distinction between a "broadcaster" and a "presenter" or "guest"?
Why does the news media insist on reviewing the newspapers anyway - when that is precisely what they don't do. They review the news in the papers - they don't sit there and say "I think the use of white space is sooooo 1993 and what were they thinking? Arial with that picture? Don't these people know what page composition is?"
How precisely is it "a great night for Britain" when an actor / sports person / writer / team / or whatever wins an international award? Does Helen Mirren winning an Oscar really make Britain great? Did Ricky Gervais Emmy win really make the world sit up and say "What a country?"
Why do the media use the term "record breaking" when referring to the number of casualties in Iraqi? It isn't "Record Breakers" with Roy Castle and Norris McWhirter keeping score. Why are they comfortable with reducing human cost of this unjust war to that of a fucking domino toppling competition?

Chip and Pin(ched) +++UPDATE+++

Does this sound familar?

U.K. researchers devise smart-card hack
By Tom Espiner, ZDNet.UK, February 07, 2007
Two Cambridge researchers have created a scenario in which hackers can bypass the latest bank-card security measures.
Saar Drimer and Steven Murdoch, members of the Cambridge University Computer Laboratory, demonstrated last month how they could modify a supposedly tamper-proof chip-and-PIN payment terminal to play Tetris.
They have now extended the hack to demonstrate how they can compromise the system by relaying card information between a genuine card and a fake one.
Chip and PIN, a government-backed initiative introduced last year in England, is a security measure in which a customer must enter a four-digit code when they use a credit or debit card for face-to-face transactions. The measure replaces the magnetic strip with a chip and the use of a four-digit PIN number. The card is placed in a device that authenticates the chip, and then a PIN is entered. Chip and PIN uses the EMV standard for smart cards. Similar but incompatible EMV systems are in use in other countries as well.
The Cambridge researchers argue that the system is not as secure as the banking industry claims.
"Chip and PIN currently does not defend against this attack, despite assertions from the banking community that customers must be liable for frauds in which the PIN was used," the researchers said in an as-yet-unpublished paper.
"When customers pay with a chip and PIN card, they have no choice but to trust the terminal when it displays the amount of the transaction. The terminal, however, could be replaced with a malicious one, without showing any outward traces," the researchers warned in their paper.
Details of the prototype attack were released Monday. In it, Drimer and Murdoch demonstrate how a chip and PIN system could be compromised to steal diamonds.
How the scam works. In the scenario, a customer attempts to pay a restaurant bill. He enters the card details into a terminal that looks real, but has actually been tampered with. It is not connected to a bank, but instead to a laptop in the restaurant.
The terminal is completely under the control of a criminal, who has modified the hardware to relay the card information to an accomplice's laptop, for example in a jewelry shop across town. The accomplice's laptop can receive the information relayed from the legitimate card in the restaurant, and is connected to a modified bank card.
In the prototype system built by Drimer and Murdoch, the chip has been removed from the modified card, and wires to the card run up the sleeve of an attacker and connect to the laptop in a backpack. Such a setup could arouse suspicion, but the researchers believe it is possible to make the card more difficult to detect by using an RFID chip that could communicate wirelessly with the laptop.
The laptop is linked to the other laptop back in the restaurant by a GSM connection. Wi-Fi could potentially be used instead, the researchers said.
The victim places his card into the modified terminal and enters the PIN, and the criminal texts the accomplice at a jeweler's shop to start the heist. The accomplice enters the fake card into the jeweler's terminal. All transactions from the jeweler's terminal are relayed via the fake card, laptops, and fake terminal to the legitimate card.
This links the jeweler's terminal to the victim's bank. As the criminal controls the terminal in the restaurant, they can make it display that the victim will pay $40, when in reality the victim is being charged $4,000 at the jeweler's for a diamond ring.
During this relay attack the criminal doesn't need to hack into any systems or run any decryption because data is simply being relayed from one terminal to another.
The researchers were unwilling to reveal too much of the technology behind the attack because they don't want their methods falling into the wrong hands. But they did say that they used a Field Programmable Gate Array--a semiconductor device containing programmable logic components and programmable interconnects--in the fake card.
Drimer claimed the fraud would be difficult for police to trace, as the victim might only notice once they received a bank statement. They would need to remember where they were when the fraud occurred, as the transaction would show from the jewelry shop, not the restaurant.
"A criminal could have a fast turnaround from this type of attack--most likely it would not be detected," said Drimer.

Now compare this to what I wrote in here in October

http://angrysince1967.blogspot.com/search?q=chip+and+pinched

I've actually been thinking about this whole chip and pin thing. We've been told by the people who know (they must be experts as I saw one of them being interviewed by Declan Curry on BBC Breakfast) that chip and pin is more secure than the old signature system as it's more difficult to forge. Er? Picture the scene. You're at a restaurant / bar etc and the bill comes. Without thinking they present you with one of those portable chip and pin devices. You happily pop in your number (leaving a tip as well). Do you see the problem? No? How do you know that this device is what it proports to be? Still not concerned? Okay let me put it another way. The smart chip in credit cards is (broadly at least) the same technology used in SIM cards. Did you know you can buy SIM card copiers. And it's not as if they hard things to get. They even sell them in the local supermarket up from my parents house. It doesn't take a massive leap of imagination to see where this is going does it? If SIM cards can be copied them the smart chips in credit cards can be copied as well. All it takes is for someone to disguise this as a portable chip and pin machine and Bob's your uncle, a device which copies the data from your chip, captures the pin number. If they wanted to be really smart they could also incorporate on of those pinhole cameras (like the ones we're always warned about being attached to cash machines) to take a photo of the security number on the back of the signature strip. Of course it will also copy the data on the magnetic strip as well. All it's cost the crooks is a meal, and while your scoffing the cheap sweeties they've given you with the receipt, your bank account is being emptied.

I just like to take this opportunity to say "I told you so". Angry Since 1967 always at least 3 months ahead of the game....

Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (14)

You know the form...

Company flogging (supposedly at least) harder to defraud pre-paid credit card for online purchases, claims online fraud now major concern

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6293907.stm

Britons fear being ripped-off online more than gun crime, climate change or even contracting MRSA in hospital, a survey has suggested.
Online fraud worries four out of 10 Britons, according to a survey from 3V, an electronic payments company.

Interesting. Of course this service 3v offers comes at a price. £3.50. Now I know this doesn't sound like much, however you're charged this everytime you top the card up and it's the same amount regardless of how much you top the card up by. If it's the tenner minimum or the maximum amount of £200 it's still £3.50. This means that spending a £10 is going to cost £13.50.

Worse if you have a balance on the card which you'd like converted back to cash they'll charge you £1.75 for the privilege. If you don't use the full balance on the card by it's expiry date, they'll charge you an "account management fee" of £1 per month, every month until either you cash it in or it reaches a balance of £1.75, which they'll take as a "final redemption charge".

I think I'll take my chances. At least with online fraud you don't normally know your being ripped off in advance....

The Gospel According to Saint Jobs

Apple have launched a mobile phone, it has a built in camera. It plays mp3s. It doubles as a PDA. You can surf the internet with it. It runs a version of an operating system, usually only found on desktop computers. Steve Jobs claim that is a "magical new device" which will "revolutionise the industry". Which will come to a shock to the companies already producing virtually indentical products.

But it doesn't matter. This is an Apple product, meaning critical facilties are suspended, awe struck amazement being the only acceptable response.

However it's worth reflecting on the responses this annoucement would have generated if
Panasonic had released the exact same product. People would ask (quite rightly) "what?"

But this is simply symptomatic of a more depressing trend. People evanglising faceless multi-national corporations and the consumer durables they produce. This isn't unique to Apple. There are Playstation devotees, and Xbox disciples, and the rest, versed in the gospels espoused in the latest ad campaign. All happy to shout the doctrine of "mine's better than yours because..." It's religion but without comforting lies of salvation and eternal life. Although I've no doubt a company somewhere is already working on electronic version of eternal life (Life V1.2) and building iHeaven.

It's like VHS vs Betamax

It only took a day. About half way down the page you'll notice the following gem

Analysts have warned that the format war, which has been likened to the Betamax-VHS videotape fight in the 1980s, could cause confusion amongst consumers and impact on sales of both technologies.

Predictable isn't the word. Can't they think of a different comparison? It's like Sky versus BSB, it's like 8 Track versus Compact Cassette, it's like the Playstation against the Saturn, it's like the Mac against PCs, it's like Dyson versus Hoover. And, as I've mentioned before, the consumer doesn't seem to be confused by the myriad of competing incompatible video games systems.

Of course there is a much more direct comparison, something the analysts fail to acknowledge. DVD recorders. If their view is to be believed, the consumer can't cope with more than one video format, therefore DVD recorders which are available in any number of incompatible versions should have failed, due to public bewilderment. But it didn't happen. VHS is now all but extinct. And it's not like the public are particularly clued up about consumer electronics. It wouldn't have been the first time someone asked me for a JCB video, or claimed they had a Mississippi TV, or wanted a demo of a Dudley Didical amp, or wondered how much a George Formby Health grill cost, or had difficulty with the notion Scotch videotapes were in fact blank.

Which demonstrates one key thing. The public know what they want, analysts only think they know what the public want.

The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Angry Since 1967, Which

will turn out to be a load of old cobblers...

Microsoft Vista will be released. Almost immediately, some company or newsgroup, will announce they've managed to find a security flaw. This will come on top of the news that some hardware / software won't work with it. Expect gasping reports on the BBC equating this to the end of civilisation as we know it, and people on Linux / Apple boards having their first orgasms in delight at this news. Meanwhile Vista goes onto be a huge success.

When the PS3 is released expect the Edge to run spoiler stories possibly with guesstimated pictures of the Xbox 3. (Gawd I hate Edge, they are like that bloody kid at school who would come out with things like "I've seen Indiana Jones 4 and it's brilliant" despite the fact it doesn't (yet) exist.) Also expect the Xbox 360's price to drop, to general indifference. Nevertheless the PS3 will be massively successful, and parents can expect long queues in late November trying to get little Timmy his new Playstation in time for Christmas.

At some point in the year a singer / band with their best years long behind them will release a new album. Expect the words "a stunning return to form" to appear in at least 40% of the reviews (this despite the fact these same reviewers told us the previous release was a "stunning return to form")

Surveys will continue to be produced, proving exactly what they intended.

Any mention of "Blu-ray" and "HD-DVD" will be prefixed with the term "VHS Vs Betamax"

DFS sofas will be available at 50% off, with 3 years interest free credit and nothing to pay in the first year (but only if you are quick, as the sale MUST end at 9:00 PM on Sunday 4th January 2099)

I wish it could be Christmas once a year...

It's Christmas. A time of Miles Kington-esque humourless annual reviews, of pictures of people queuing for graded crap in the sales, a time of hopelessly inaccurate predictions for the New Year, a time for retailers to gnash their teeth about pish sales.

And the time when I go home to an internet free oasis.

See you all in the New Year.

Meanwhile here is some music

Due to circumstances beyond my control (I've lost my muse. Don't know where it's vanished to. I looked down the back of the sofa, in the bin (twice), emptied everything out of my cupboards and I still can't find it.) I haven't updated this in ages. Normal service will resume shortly. We return you to our trade test transmissions

Friends Reunited

A few years ago I signed up for Friends Reunited, probably for the same reason that most people do - just to see. And of course like everyone else I filled my little box with what I'd been doing. And left it like that.

But I kept getting those gentle reminder emails saying I hadn't updated my profile so, with all good intention, I set about it. Only to think, a few minutes in "what the fuck am I doing? Why am I spending time telling people I've deemed suitable for jettisoning what I've been up to since the last time they walked passed in the street, pretending not to see me?"

So I told them I tap danced at Kings Cross Underground Station, I worked in McDonalds as a trainee chip fryer, that I'd been convicted of a crime I did not commit, and since escaping the high security stockade I'd been working as a soldier of fortune, that I was responsible for the hyper inflation in the Wiemar Republic, that I was lentil eating, sandal wearing, bearded DJ who'd discovered huge numbers of British bands in the 1970's. And no one was any the wiser.

Which is kind of the point. Friends Reunited is full of people who were never really anyones friend - just people who were acquaintances, who, when the push came to the shove, were easily replaced by another lot of equally easily replaced acquaintances. People whose absence you never noticed. But you shouldn't feel too bad about this. We're all someone's acquaintance.

O'Briens Irish Sandwich Bars - Not The Taste of Home

O'Briens "Irish" Sandwich shops really get on my tits. It's the Monty Python "Cheese Shop Sketch" for real.

"Can I have mine in some soda farls?"
"No we don't sell those"
"how about in some wheaten or soda bread?"
"er... no"
"This is an Irish Sandwich shop?"
"Yes"
"Okay what can I have it in then?"
"A bagel, a wrap or some shamrock foccacia bread"
"What part of Ireland do they come from?"

I actually asked in an O'Briens if they sold potato bread. "No" I was informed "we don't sell any of that foreign stuff."

It's even more ironic as the founder of the company, Brodie Sweeney claims that their shops “Irishness” is "...integral to the O’Briens experience." I'll try and remember that the next time I see one of their stores advertising a Chicken Chili Wrap as "traditional Irish".

Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (13)

Today's Survey....Consultants offering web accessibility advice claim retail web sites inaccessible

M&S tops High Street web ranking

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6180362.stm

Marks & Spencer's website has topped a new ranking of user-friendly websites, with its fashion retailing rivals Next and Top Shop struggling at the bottom.
Web usability consultants Webcredible assessed the websites of 20 of the UK's most popular High Street retailers.
It cited confusing search results, poor navigation and complicated checkout procedures as the worst mistakes.

If they'd only used Webcredible they'd be able to call upon the powers of Dr Webcredible and his superfriends, Hyperlink and Webcrawler. You can follow their adventures here .

Podcasts - The Sound Of No One Listening

Some shocking research reported on the BBC. No-one listens to podcasts.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6175728.stm

After all the hype, all the techno jargon, the pages and pages of analysis, and the warnings of the end of broadcasting as we know it, a survey says pretty much what we all knew. No one listens to them.

Charlene Li, one of the authors of the Forrester report admitted on her blog at the time of the report that "measurement is still really hard to do". In particular she said that "counting podcast downloads is a dubious way to measure usage".

Bravo Charlene. The figures don't fit the projections so how they were measured is "dubious". I wonder if the figures had been in line with projections whether she'd have expressed the same concerns.

Next they'll be telling us that no-one reads blogs..