Welcome To Fear. Part X

Death by Vuvuzela

Welcome To Fear. Part IX

Death by nose blowing

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel. Day Three

I'm going to make a slight change to this. Now that the BBC entertainment news pages are almost now exclusively devoted to reporting / hyping Awards ceremonies I've decided only to mention those which merit mentions on the BBC's general news pages. Why? Simple. I think I've made my point.

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel. Day Two

Another thought struck me about this. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in saying awards ceremonies get three hits at coverage. Some get four. So where does this extra one come from? Announcing the make-up of the jury which decides the results. Such and such made chair of Awards Ceremony jury. So and so on Awards Ceremony jury. The stories write themselves.  

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel....

And just to prove the point. Today's other winner. Of an Award. For photography, 

The question arises though. Broadly speaking both these awards cover the same thing. So which one is better? Perhaps there should be some sort of play off? Or, in true Gadget Show / Top Gear style, a series of increasingly outlandish, and decreasingly funny challenges to decide which one is "actually" the best*. 

*Now there's an idea for a TV show. And it makes more sense than a robotic hare chasing people around a TV studio. Or at least, it makes as much sense as that does.  

I wouldn't mind if it was Nobel....

And today's winner is....

Just to explain. I can't be the only one to have noticed the explosion in awards ceremonies. It seems a day now doesn't pass without someone winning something. Now I'm not going to dispute the validity of the winners winning, I mean who am I to judge? Rather I'm more interested in the fact that there are so many bloody awards to pick from now. It would be entirely possible for the BBC news site to feature surveys which prove what they were designed to prove, the latest threat to your health, how much something cost the economy and a feature on some awards ceremony. Which, if cutely managed, gets three hits - the announcement of the shortlist, the pre-announcement of the "special" winners and then the actual winners themselves. I'm not one to say it, but there is now a self perpetuating awards industry. I think the only logical way to recognise the sterling work they do is by having an award they can compete for. Then we'd finally know which one is the most worthy*. 

*Of course what confuses things is that the remit of many of these awards is defined so narrowly that there's barely enough of a choice to make a shortlist. For example one for "Best Blog Called Angry Since 1967". Not that I'd stoop to that.... 

One social media thing down, a few more to go.

I was going to write something about twitter, in the style of a twitter post. But then I realised, mimicking the 140 character limit means I
   

Today's figure pulled out of the "cost to the economy hat" is

Up to* £280 Billion per year. Or is it up to £55 Billion? Who knows?

*I love the caveat "up to". I've mentioned before the nonsense-ese this phrase encapsulates when Head And Shoulders used "up to 100%" to claim how good their shampoo was at removing dandruff.. This little term is like some fantastically powerful algebraic function which can be used to generate any end figure you like without ever having to demonstrate how you actually reached it. But it doesn't stop there. I can claim. quite accurately, the grade I achieved in may French "O" Level was "up to an A". Which, when you think about it, sounds a hell of a lot better than a "U"?

It's SPEND, SPENDS, SPENT.

Am I the only person to have noticed how the words "spend", "spends" and "spent" have become, in media parlance at least, euphemisms for wasting money? You know the sort of thing. Local council "spends" an amount on something. The inference? The money is being squandered. You can be damn sure if you see the word "spend" or a derivative of it, especially IN CAPITALS then the people writing the article don't approve of the expenditure. 

Revenge of The Odds And Sods II

Bit of housekeeping.

I see HMV has acquired the epithets "troubled" and "embattled". The word "failed" can't be too far away.   

As I mentioned yesterday I've been thinking of rebranding the site in an effort to make it more in line with the current clamour for "digital activism". To this end I'd redrafted my profile description, adding the word "aspiring". Suddenly I was transformed from a bile drenched cynic to an "edgy social commentator and aspiring Journalist". I love the magical power of words to create whichever fictional identity you want. "Lost" becomes "misplaced", "found" becomes "revealed" and "pie in the sky, fantasy you've no hope of ever achieving" becomes "aspiring". Then I decided against it. People* wouldn't realise I was taking the piss.

*I'd like to say a big HELLO to Dreamworks SKG** by the way. They were on here a couple of days ago. No doubt they were so inspired by what they read that a movie version of this site has already been greenlit. I'm looking forward to Angry Since 1967 3D. Can you get Jennifer Connelly to play the love interest please?

**Of course by Dreamworks SKG I mean someone from a domain purporting to be Dreamworks SKG, which as anyone familiar with how the internet works will know this is something to be treated with scepticism. If it was them though I suspect they were on checking to see if I had any dodgy links to download hooky versions of their movies rather than seeking inspiration.***

***It's a bit of a meander this one. God knows why. I'll put it down to too many fine German ales last night.    

Angry Since 1967 likes this.

I'd been thinking about rebranding myself as a "Digital Activist". But then I realised that there's more to activism (the whole "active" root of the word "activist" for starters) than responding to a hashtag on Twitter. If Twitter had existed during the French Revolution "#StormTheBastille" would have 400,000 followers, a You Tube channel, an app for your iphone (Angry Peasants?) and lots of likes on Facebook. 

And France would be a monarchy to this day.

The 200th*

So 200 posts then. Who would have thought it possible? Certainly not me. I reckoned I'd be bored with this blogging thing after about a month, so that I'm still posting here 4 1/2 years later is quite an achievement (obviously I use the term "achievement" in its "winning a music award presented by a magazine" or "an endeavour badge for failing to swim 10 metres" sense). Of course that I'm howling about the same things I was way back in the summer of 2006 says something as well. What that might be isn't immediately clear though. No doubt the profundity of this fact will present itself at some indeterminate moment in the future. In the meantime? Well there seems little point in worrying about it.

*Seasoned AS1967 readers will probably realise something more substantial is brewing. Although "stewing" is probably be a more accurate description. At the moment, I'm trying to make something currently unreadable into something more palatable, much as you would if you had a big bottle of Bile flavoured Quosh which has to be diluted with 5 parts water before it can be safely consumed..    
  

Today's figure pulled out of "Cost to the Economy" hat is

£280m. Per day.

Welcome To Fear. Part VIII

Death by recycled cardboard.

Welcome To Fear. Part VII

At last we know the answer to the question Dr Pepper posed. 

Yeah I know...

I want to move home. Location dependent on TV show. 

I want to stay at home, but it needs a lick of paint. Any chance? 

I've an old watch. How much will you give me for it? 

I've £20 to spend on junk at a car boot sale. Can someone help me choose something I can then sell on for a profit?

I can win money playing 50/50 or participating in a quiz where the odds are completely loaded against me. 

I think this celeb is great / bad because of something in today's paper. 

Once hailed as the most important US import on TV.

I've invited complete strangers around for dinner so I can win money.  

I've had an accident and I wasn't to blame. Can anyone help?

I want to know where I can get the best deal on insurance?  

Something more important than what we are currently reporting on is scrolling across the bottom of the screen. Look! More breaking news!

Cookery. 

More cookery. 

Rerun of twee UK crime show. 

And now the Six O'clock News.

And repeat 5 days a week.   

Today's figure pulled out of "Cost to the Economy" hat is

£27 Billion

Just One Other Thing

When TV stations can't think of anything to fill their schedules with they simply dust down old episodes of US Cop shows and hope no-one notices.

And so, finding myself in a similar position, You Tube let's me do the same.  

Angry Since 1967 Costs UK Economy Tens Of Pence.

A leading financial organisation claimed Angry Since 1967 was costing the UK economy 30p a week in time otherwise used for more productive things like watching TV, scratching your hole, or wondering if you've left the iron on. Their chief economist said "We've calculated that the time wasted reading Angry Since 1967 costs the UK economy some 30p a week. You'll note this figure is neither 29p nor 31p but exactly 30p. And if that doesn't tell you all you need to know then no amount of hinting will make it clear. I mean come on. Isn't it obvious? We just pluck these figures out of the air. It doesn't matter if it's the cost of bad weather, money wasted by people having a shit or time spent on Angry Since 1967, no-one ever asks the fundamental question of "how precisely did you work that out?" Instead they simply accept the figures we publish and build the story to fit. Yes we, and our colleagues in other companies, may have the word "Economics", "Finance", "Consultancy" or "Analyst" in our organisations name but that doesn't mean you should simply take every single word issued as the unchallengeable gospel truth. I mean, come on? No one can, with any real accuracy, know how much it costs the economy when it snows. Or rains. Or when it didn't snow. Or rain. Yet we can. To the nearest round figure. The laughs we've had watching as the media report the bollox we produce as if it was based on tangible, methodical research. Consider this. Do you think a large commercial organisation would really devote the necessary resources of time and money to produce figures they know will never be challenged? Or that adverse weather conditions somehow don't impact us, meaning that while everyone else shivers, we have the resources in staff and time to produce figures based on painstaking research?"

 When asked what the future held the spokesman said "We'll be releasing figures next next week which will make for interesting reading. We've quantified the the cost to the economy of these "cost to the economy" reports. We estimate it to be in the region of at least £37 million, or £5 million, or £5.40, although the final figure won't be known until we pick it out of our big hat". 

More than words*.

Odd one this. I have that feeling I should be posting something more substantial than another "oo-ee look at the fearmongering bollox on the BBC website" but, and this is a shocking admission, I can't think of anything. So this post is about nothing. It is a phantom, a notion of a post. I'm sure you can imagine how it would go. Howling derision, impotent finger waggling and metaphorical eye rolling directed at some seemingly unimportant thing which I kid myself into thinking reveals an inner truth, but that actually doesn't reveal the truth (inner or otherwise) at all. Now some might claim that this post says more, by saying nothing at all, than my usual 500 word rants. And that's fair enough. But then I'd have to conclude that this nebulous "some" include followers of the noted Irish philosopher Ronan Keating amongst their number.

Exactly.   

*No. The other one. 

Welcome to Fear. Part VI

3D Television poses possible risk to health

Welcome To Fear. Part V

Death by Art installation

And win £200

With stuff like this and this appearing on it, I'd like to know when the BBC News site became an extension of "You've Been Framed?" 

Sorry about this...

But I can't let this go uncommented. HMV has had the terms of its credit insurance reviewed. Management Today  report it's actually been withdrawn from several of its key suppliers. As I was made redundant almost directly as the result the exact same thing happening to client of the company I used to work for, I can only imagine the ensuing panic this news has generated with HMV, despite their protestations to the contrary. 

If the vultures weren't already circling, then they are at least being fuelled and readied for flight. 

Recent Customer Service Failings on Angry Since 1967

Following recent revelations “Angry Since 1967” would like to assure its reader that Customer Service is something we only pay lip service when we have to. Further we will use a predictable excuse if our piss awful service is revealed on a TV consumer programme. To this end we’d like to assure our user the recent isolated problems which some people may have experienced are entirely due to the previous owners of this site, the staff have been retrained, the software glitch has been resolved, best practice guidelines have been issued, our supplier contracts have been renegotiated, and the people involved have been disciplined. We also acknowledge our culpability by admitting that a dog ate our corporate homeworks.

We treat all customer service complaints raised via TV consumer programmes entirely on the merits of how many people might watch the show. So if you are from a show on BBC1 shown on a weekday morning you might as well paint your arse purple and wave it at the passing traffic for all the good it will do. Alternatively if you appear at peak time on a minority channel, and have gone to the trouble of having a hidden camera secreted about your person and disguising yourself with a long wig so you can experience the shocking truth at first hand, we will still ignore your whinging.  At this point we'd recommend organising a march with placards to our Head Office. Here you will be refused admission, allowing for the entirely predictable shot of the presenter tutting about how no-one in the company seems interested in the not really very “shocking” issue they’ve uncovered. Thus allowing the presenter to achieve their ultimate goal – a career enhancing apotheosis to a “Consumer Champion”. If, to seal the deal, you require a picture of you being escorted from the premises by a security guard, let us know in advance and we can have a suitable individual in attendance to assist you in getting the required shot.  

While the public statements we make, when issues such as these come to light, will continue to have the veneer of contrition, you can be confident that however sincere they appear, we will continue to engage in these activities. Of course these practices will be subtly adjusted and redefined, but they will remain our policy until the next prune faced busy body sticks their interfering nose in, mistakenly believing they, unlike the preceding line of presenters who tried and failed, will be the person who stamps out these long established sharp practices once and for all. 

Statement Ends.

Saturday Night's Alright (For Posting).

You know that moment when you spot something so obvious that you haven't ever noticed it before? Well that's happened this evening. I've decided I now want a flat in warehouse conversion. Not because it may, or may not be a great place to live, but rather to move into the lucrative "somewhere to shoot the talking head to camera in a Top 100, Best Comedy Show or some other cheap bollox Channel 4 fill the long spaces in their schedules between "Come Dine With Me" and "Grand Designs". I'd even provide my own camera, saving them some cash. Christ if they were really skint I'd sit there and go "Fuck Stretch Armstrong / East 17 / Are You Being Served / Milli Vanilli, what was going on there?", while pretending to care what the fuck the show is about. If needs be I could probably scratch together a minor comedian who once appeared in a smug panel or a woman famous for baring all in Maxim just as that whole "Ladette" thing died on it's arse. 

Sorry I can't think of a title

There's a truism (and if there isn't there should be) that if you are bored writing something, then people will be bored reading it. And that's what I've realised about this stuff about HMV. So I'm going to give it a rest for a while. There's plenty else I can write about, such as the news the BBC are to produce yet another Charles Dickens adaptation. Something, I'm sure we all agree, we don't need. Its commissioning demonstrates a couple of things, the stultifying lack of imagination at the heart of UK TV drama and the vice like grip the public domain has on what we see on TV. I can't wait to miss it. 

The best "Odds and Ends" post in the World EVER (Volume 2)*

Just clearing the decks from 2010.

The Award for the Worst Recruitment Agency has been won by the agency discussed here. Of course I can't remember their name beyond that it had three names. So for convenience I've decided to name them "Barnyard, Cover And Loaf". Well done. You had some tough competition, and only the arrival of a conciliatory e-Christmas card from the other main contender clinched BC&L the award. 

As usual with these things there is an expectation to list the best of the previous year, not so much to demonstrate your taste, but rather prove how "in touch" you are. So the best album? The Divine Comedy album was patchy, featuring two great tunes, and a lot of filler. Chicane's "Giants" frustrated more than impressed. Honestly? Under the autotuned vocals and deliberate pastiches there is "something" interesting going on. But currently Chicane falls far short of the sum of its parts. So, by default, the best album I heard in the last year was Carbon Based Lifeform's "Interloper", who thanks to being Swedish, and being straddled with the worst name for a band since "Porcupine Tree", seem doomed to inhabit the unknown side of obscurity. Which is a pity as this album is darn good. As for the rest? Single, Movie, TV show, Day Of The Week? It hardly matters, beyond saying the good stuff was significantly outnumbered by the bad. 

I was going to post something about the new UK Comic "Clint". But having read it, I find I can't be arsed wasting more than these two sentences on something so piss poor**.  

Much has been written in the last couple of weeks about the decline (demise?) of HMV, mostly from a perspective harking back to some misty-eyed neverland when HMV was "better". Needless to say the reasons for HMV's decline have been squarely blamed on "internet piracy" and downloads, although some have noted that HMV's response to these challenges has left a moribund retailer with no clear identity and less idea of the niche it is supposed to fill. Of course, I'd argue that HMV are largely to blame for their own predicament, having utterly failed to realise how things have changed, People still want to buy music. But HMV just don't seem to be able comprehend this, preferring to devote space to products their competitors sell, usually more cheaply and in environments more conducive for the consumer to make a purchase. Case in point? I was fielding questions from woman about a Philips blu-ray player in my local HMV a couple of weeks before Christmas. So why did I assist? Simple. The poor guy who'd been approached by the customer had no idea about the product, what it did or why it was cheaper than one and more expensive than another. So rather than watch him flounder I helped. All those years spent in electrical retailing finally coming to someone's rescue. Now normally something like this would irk me. But in this instance I thought it just summed up HMV. They have products for sale, which unlike CD's or games actually need to be "sold" rather than simply be selected by the customer. And it's certainly not, in this instance, the employees fault that they don't know anything about a (seemingly at least) randomly selected consumer durable, or it's benefits beyond how much it costs. And that's the point. Why would they? Now if this had happened in a Currys I'd be howling in derision. But it's not Currys. It's HMV who, I'm forced to conclude, don't realise that people need to be guided as to why one consumer durable is better than another one, nor that during the decision making process the customer might just ask a member of staff for advice. While I can't judge whether this is typical or not, even this possibly isolated incident demonstrates the problems a retailer faces when they sell products outside their core range, and it strikes me even if this is atypical then they still haven't thought this expansion into selling other products through very well. If you can't sell a £99 Blu-ray player with a free copy of "The Expendables" without a third party helping what chance do they have selling those £270 headphones they stock? But I digress. 

Nor do HMV understand that their lead pricing promotion of 2 CDs for £10 harks back to a time when they only had to compete against other High street retailers, not the internet. The news they will start closing branches isn't very surprising, coming on the heels of last Summers change of ordering system which resulted (so I'm told) in a purge of stock. I suspect though, having had personal experienced an organisation attempting to survive by branch closures, that the actual savings they make won't be as much as they anticipate. Of course you can close a shop but, for example, if it is on a long term lease you'll still pay rent on the premises - empty or otherwise. Then there is the "actual" logistics of closing branches. Stock has to be moved, bills transferred (and the rest) before you even get to the inevitable cost of redundancies. Long term contracts with suppliers and the associated early termination fees can result in a situation where it makes just as much sense just to keep a place open***, but that rarely happens once the commitment to closure has been made. I suppose I'm missing the point. Closing branches does at least give the impression of doing something, even if in the short term it makes little difference to an organisations' bottom line. 

HMV's decline comes at the same time as an interesting development in Belfast. The arrival of a new CD retailer - a company called "Head". And, quite incredibly, they actually sell CDs. And not just chart stuff. They even pass the "Neu!" test, having the first two "Neu!" albums for sale at prices not a kick in the balls away from those on the net. Needless to say, even in my current skint state, my CD buying habit has kicked back in. (To give you an idea - I bought Oasis "Definitely Maybe", ABC's "The Lexicon Of Love" and REM's "Out Of Time" for a fiver. That's not a fiver each. That's three CD's for a fiver. That's what I thought as well). The fact is "Head" feels like a CD shop. Yeah they sell DVDs, but they also have a Vinyl section which makes me want to sort my old Rega Planar out once and for all. Honestly? It's well worth a visit. 

*Yeah my muse has returned. Along with my inability to string two coherent sentences together. I've lost count of the number of revisions I've made to this since I posted it earlier today. Even now I'm not happy with it, but I'm tired of trying to batter the English language into submission, so it will just have to do.  

**Just in passing it's nearly a year now since I stopped, after 33 years, buying 2000AD. A quick browse of the last issue doesn't make me any more inclined to start picking it up again, as it features amongst its stories, one stiffly drawn, illogical thing about a war between angels and demons, which was the very story which made me realise I was just buying 2000AD out of habit, rather than for enjoyment. Last year this story had one of the protagonists use a mobile phone in Hell. Now just get your head around that image for a moment. So how would that work? Presumably it means there is an entire mobile infrastructure in Hell, no doubt complete with call centres whose job is to sell demons upgrade handsets or contracts whilst at the same time deal with the usual customer service issues you'd associate with such a provision. You know crap reception, stolen phones and handsets dropped into fiery pits.. And surely it then follows that there would be Mobile phone shops as well. I mean where else would demons get their mobile phones from? Unless they send away for one via a small ad in the back of The Sun. If this was the case then Hell would need a postal service, or at least couriers for it to work. And then there is the more practical problem of how a mobile phone network would actually work in Hell. Would demons complain if someone built a mobile mast beside one of the pits of eternal damnation because it "spoilt the view"? Unless of course the mobile network works by Magick (which always has to be spelt with an extra "k" at the end when "evil's afoot"). But if that was the case why do they need handsets? With a dial for entering telephone numbers? It's utter nonsense. I mean can you imagine a "Carphone Warehouse" in Hell? I picture something just like the one in the Abbey Centre, albeit missing the overpowering smell of brimstone and employing slightly fewer damned souls. 

***Which is a tale in itself. Actually it's an entire book. Just to give you some indication of how bad things had gone a year or so before the end, there were multiple transactions being processed through where it would have been more profitable simply to hand the customer £20 out of the till before asking them to leave the shop. Of course transactions like this were automatically flagged up thanks to a clever bit of mucking about with Business Objects. I got a nice little email which I would investigate. By this point though the people you'd expect to be interested had long since passed caring. The company was haemorrhaging money so violently it had lost all sense of perspective. Two months after I'd left, the company, with 70 odd years worth of history, collapsed. No-one was surprised. 

Lost. One muse. Used rarely. Answers to Angry Since 1967. Please return if found.

You'd think, following the news HMV is staring into the abyss, I'd be able to bang out a quick 1000 word missive claiming "I told you so", while at the same time questioning the likely effectiveness of their "cure or kill" strategy to close branches and generally howling at how it was their short sighted insistence on blaming their decline on "internet piracy" rather than addressing HMV's own failings which led to this moment. But it doesn't. And how, after feck only knows how many attempts, I am precisely no closer to producing something coherent (that's Angry Since 1967 "coherent" which, as regular readers will know, is a much more malleable beast than real coherence) than I was the day the news broke. 

Exactly.

Welcome To Fear. Part IV

Death by Eggs

I've won a prize*

It's been a while (2007), so I've decided the time is right for Angry Since 1967 to win another award. And The Professor Stanley Unwin Prize was born. This award is in recognition for those whose clarity of thought is articulated in plain, concise English. It also acknowledges the contribution any blog called "Angry Since 1967" has made to the overall "blogosphere". Naming such an esteemed award in honour of an individual renowned for their incomprehensibility seems not only right, but entirely appropriate. The selection panel, made up of me, pondered as to which of the qualifying blogs should win this auspicious prize. However it quickly became clear only one filled the key criteria - being called "Angry Since 1967". This, taken together with the fact that the actual content (largely) consists of baffling rants, sentence construction bordering on the incomprehensible, and punctuation which takes the appearance of being randomly scattered around the page, renders "Angry Since 1967" as the obvious choice. I mean read back that last sentence. It's horribouncy incobobblybole.  

*I actually did win something though. A Budvar branded memory stick and a fleece. Let the festivities commence! 

Is the Fat Nipper Singing?

There have been a few occasions when I've thought that being, or seemingly at least, proved right is of little consolation. The news released today of HMV's spiralling sales decline suggests, sadly, they are facing the abyss. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. I don't want HMV to go bust, I don't want them to vanish off the High Street, but it looks like that is now a distinct possibility. As I've said before HMV doesn't know what it is any more. Music shop? Clothes Shop? Games Shop? Electronics store (I was in one the other day and they were selling headphones for £269.99. HMV trying to sell headphones at £269.99? Have they taken leave of their senses?) or a DVD Shop. As I said here "rather than work out what they do and what they are for, they, like a three year old with some fuzzy felt, are throwing things in the hope what sticks makes a nice picture."  

Things look grim. And while a turnaround is always possible, it's difficult to see where it is coming from. Perhaps a return to what they used to do might work, although unfortunately I suspect it might already be too late.  

 

A Week Without Mp3....Believe In Better. Or Closed.

Last October I blogged here about Sky Songs, a download / streaming service Sky had started. It seems my scepticism was well judged, as according to the BBC, it will be closing down in February. And here is the thing. As far as I can tell this a rare example of Sky getting something completely wrong. Their entire business model is predicated on consumers paying for third party content they deliver from within a paywall. Sky are many things, most of them not very appealing, but they do know how to run a subscription service. That they couldn't make this work sends a very clear message - streamed music services simply aren't viable, as consumers simply will not pay for them. How Spotify react to this is going to be very interesting. 

Meanwhile here is some "more" music

Welcome to Fear. Part Three

And another one. 
Death by Sunday roast

All Readers!! EXCITING NEWS INSIDE THIS ISSUE!!!

That's right pals, from next week we're welcoming our chums at "Monster Fun" to "Angry Since 1967." All your favourites will be here, plus some great new stories I know you'll love. Laughs are guaranteed as "Our Survey Says.....Exactly What We Want" and "A Week Without Mp3s" meet "Frankie Stein", "Martha's Monster Make-Up" and "Kid Kong". That's right! From next week "Angry Since 1967 and Monster Fun" is the only place you need for your fix of chortles and guffaws! And, as an extra special treat, we've a Twitter feed FREE for all our friends! And all these jolly japes and giggles aplenty are yours for just 6p! Remember mates, you don't want to miss your weekly fix of laughs, ghoulish goings on and depressing, wearying curmudgeonry, so place an order at your local newsagent NOW! 

AS1967 Revamp

Yeah I'm footering with the layout of the blog, as with all the archived posts it was becoming a pain to find things. I'm not entirely sure yet what I want to do, so expect an indeterminate time to pass before I work out what the hell I want it to look like. 

Exactly..... 

A Week Without mp3. Now in HD Sound. And available on iTunes.

I can't help noticing, but we appear to be in the middle of a concerted effort to rebrand the downloaded mp3 facsimiles you buy from legal sites as "digital music". Indeed Apple have been advertising several recent album releases on TV with the catch line (I'm paraphrasing) "start your digital collection with...". Now far be it for me to rain on this particular parade, but this is utter bollox. How precisely are these downloads any more "digital" than a CD and doesn't the simple act of owning a CD mean you already have a "digital music collection?" 

Of course not that this will stop them from making the claim. Especially now, when you can, for the first time, download (sorry "add to your digital collection") the complete Beatles back catalogue from iTunes. Not that you would, of course, as there are a couple of problems with these downloads. They will sound worse than the original 50 year old vinyl versions and they are, quite incredibly, more expensive than the equivalent, better sounding, CD versions. Perhaps the two companies, whose "historic" agreement made this possible, and who so famously reference a pomaceous fruit, picked the wrong brand name. Given their continued reliance on flogging old rope, it would have been more accurate to name their respective organisations "Hemp."  
  
Of course this "digital music" marketing-ese which Apple use, isn't an isolated example. There are many others just as culpable. Take the BBC. Recently they announced the introduction of "HD Sound" versions of their streamed radio channels. So does this service offer 24 bit/96khz streams, comparable to SACD or DVDA? Of course it doesn't. It is just a slightly higher quality version of the lamentable thing they offer at the moment. No harm in that I suppose. Well, yes and no. I can't dispute that it sounds better, but "HD?". If you read the technical gobbledegook they've posted to justify the addition of the prefix "HD", you'll realise the patent misdirection they are engaged in. No matter how they try to cache it, the 320kbps standard they've picked is patently worse than the "real" HD formats of SACD or DVDA. By a considerable margin.  This so called HD sound is not, by the commonly accepted definition, "HD".  More damning? It's actually worse than that unloved throw back - good old CD. And here's the thing. I'd always suspected, sooner or later, someone would call an mp3 based audio format, offering sound quality worse than that of CD, "HD". The only surprise? The culprit is the BBC. Why the "surprise? My money was on Apple. 


If ever there was an example of why I need a sub-editor it's the tortuous language I've used in this post. Honestly? The more I think about what I've written, the worse it gets, especially when I try and "fix it". I reach the point when the sentences stop making any sense. Or rather when the sentences start making even less sense. Damn my clumsy sentence construction....*

*Still at it.  

Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (16)

As you can see nothing has changed. This "survey" demonstrates exactly my point. Company / Charity is selling a service, the survey finds it is either indispensable or better than that offered by its' competitors. And, predictably, the media prints the results with uncritical and unquestioning reverence. I will make a simple observation. When was the last time you saw a survey which found an organisation, different or distinct from whom it was commissioned by, coming out on top? 

Exactly.  

Queues form as Angry Since 1967 launches new blog post at midnight.

The newest post on Angry Since 1967 caused mild hysteria yesterday as fans queued for hours to be the first to read it. The internet, which stayed open to midnight for the occasion, claimed that this was an "unprecedented" event. Angry Since 1967 has grown to be an internet phenomenon, and has literally had a dozen hits since its inception back in 2006. One analyst claimed Angry Since 1967 had "redefined the blogsphere's zeitgeist", and was "a continually evolving paradigm shift" which "resonated across the social media's entire ecosystem". 

In the queue spirits were high. One person said "I'm so excited I've wet myself, I can't wait to read what he's written this time." Another claimed "I was promised food and a warm bed". One said they were habitual queuers "If I see a line of people I have to join it. Especially if there is a wee roped off bit with some red carpet at one end." 

Another individual, who preferred not to be named claimed they made a good living from midnight launches. "Yeah I'm employed by the company as an "ambient participant", although previously I've played the role of an "active participant". I get to be interviewed by the media immediately after being the "first" to buy the new piece of ephemeral tat they are plugging. Obviously learning my lines can be a bit of chore but I enjoy it." So how did this happen? "Well I wanted to be first in line outside a local electrical retailer for the their Boxing Day sale, when I was told the position had been already been filled by someone else. When I saw their well practised joy, as the cameras popped after they'd "bought" the damaged repaired cooker they'd been queuing for, I realised "that's the job for me". Yeah I've had to work at it, but it's paid off, now I go to all the launches. Okay a god forsaken shopping centre on a cold November night isn't great, but I did get to go to Los Angeles and New York earlier this year for the launch of a tablet computer, and I got to be first in line as well." So what did they think of Angry Since 1967? 

"Who?