Years ago there was a programme on BBC 1 with the Hairy Cornflake himself Dave Lee Travis (christ the 80's were an awful time) which would show pop videos for songs that predated pop videos. So we were er treated to videos for songs like Pilot's "Magic" (featuring a Pilot doing magic tricks. Genius) and so on and so on.
Roll on 20 odd years and now anyone with access to a PC and some video editing software can replicate the idea behind this formidable show and make their own videos for songs that don't have videos. Nowadays this artform (!) forms a significant part of YouTube (clearly the people behind this site weren't from Belfast), taking pride of place beside videos of people falling over, Star Wars parodies and parodies of Star Wars. Never one to miss a passing bandwagon Angry Since 1967 Productions is proud to present two "Videos For Songs Which Don't Have Official Videos(TM)"
The first of these is for the Boards Of Canada track "Peacock Tail". Now the production technique is a closely guarded secret, however the fact that it is shot in "Waving-a-mobile-phone-with-a-video-camera-in-front-of-the-TV-while-Carl-Sagan's-Cosmos-is-playing-then-editing-the-results-in-the-worst-free video-editing-software-I've-ever-seen-A-Vision" may offer some hints as to how it was produced
The second video is for the Boards Of Canada tracks "Bocuma" and "Roygbiv". These tracks have always reminded me of the music used for schools programming in the 1980's. Most of the programmes had title music which fell into one of two broad categories - Radiophonic Workshop or Derek Griffiths. Boards of Canada fall into the "Radiophonic" category. Why there aren't a hundred bands citing Derek Griffiths as a major influence is little short of baffling. In this day of tribute bands isn't there room for a Derek Griffiths one? They could do all the classics "Heads And Tails", "Build Yourself A Word" and of course the seminal "Magic E". Anyway this video is cobbled together from some clips I managed to get from YouTube, and includes the opening titles of top programmes such as "Going To Work", "Near and Far", "Picture Box" and "Near And Far"
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Odds and Sods
I haven't updated this in a while so...
Congratulations to Maxwell Someone who was introduced to the viewers of BBC Breakfast on Friday 13th as a "Broadcaster". Now to be honest I have no idea who this is and I wasn't interested enough to hang around to find out.
In case your wondering where the "Our Survey says" thing has vanished to, well the unrelenting predictability was starting to get on my wick. Needless to say the BBC (and others) are still publishing surveys without even the most cursory examination of the data or methodology. Worse no-one (apart from me) seems to capable of treating the results with any scepticism. So in the last week we had a survey (commissioned by a company flogging security solutions to retailers) which claimed customers are reluctant to spend money with companies which have experienced security breaches with their electronic payments. Which is bollocks. Customers are reluctant to spend money with companies who make these security breaches public. I've heard stories about some well known organisations (unsurprisingly not mentioned in this survey) which would curl your hair and empty your bank account at the same time. So all this result demonstrates is "what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve".
In a similar vein the much vaunted Chip And Pin system has been exposed as not being quite as fullproof as we've been told, with thousands of motorists finding their card details passed to Tamil guerillas. God things have changed. In the old days all you would get with your petrol was some vouchers for either World Cup coins or worse, tumblers. Now it's a free surface to air missile for the Tamils with every 50 litres.
I suppose if you're buying petrol from Esso you could actually be putting a Tiger in a Tank
Congratulations to Maxwell Someone who was introduced to the viewers of BBC Breakfast on Friday 13th as a "Broadcaster". Now to be honest I have no idea who this is and I wasn't interested enough to hang around to find out.
In case your wondering where the "Our Survey says" thing has vanished to, well the unrelenting predictability was starting to get on my wick. Needless to say the BBC (and others) are still publishing surveys without even the most cursory examination of the data or methodology. Worse no-one (apart from me) seems to capable of treating the results with any scepticism. So in the last week we had a survey (commissioned by a company flogging security solutions to retailers) which claimed customers are reluctant to spend money with companies which have experienced security breaches with their electronic payments. Which is bollocks. Customers are reluctant to spend money with companies who make these security breaches public. I've heard stories about some well known organisations (unsurprisingly not mentioned in this survey) which would curl your hair and empty your bank account at the same time. So all this result demonstrates is "what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve".
In a similar vein the much vaunted Chip And Pin system has been exposed as not being quite as fullproof as we've been told, with thousands of motorists finding their card details passed to Tamil guerillas. God things have changed. In the old days all you would get with your petrol was some vouchers for either World Cup coins or worse, tumblers. Now it's a free surface to air missile for the Tamils with every 50 litres.
I suppose if you're buying petrol from Esso you could actually be putting a Tiger in a Tank
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Broadcast(er) News
I'd just like to be the first to congratulate the following on their attainment of the status of "Broadcaster."
Lowri Turner - She was awarded this by BBC Breakfast News the week before last.
Kate Garraway - the happy event was announced by The National Lottery: The People's Quiz.
A special mention for Newton Emerson. He was introduced on BBC 2's "Hearts And Minds" as a "Commentator". So close. Better luck next time Newton.
Lowri Turner - She was awarded this by BBC Breakfast News the week before last.
Kate Garraway - the happy event was announced by The National Lottery: The People's Quiz.
A special mention for Newton Emerson. He was introduced on BBC 2's "Hearts And Minds" as a "Commentator". So close. Better luck next time Newton.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Er.....
How do you attain the status of a "broadcaster?" For example when Sky News or News 24 review the newspapers they invariably describe the reviewer as a writer and broadcaster. The term "writer" is clear enough but what precisely is the distinction between a "broadcaster" and a "presenter" or "guest"?
Why does the news media insist on reviewing the newspapers anyway - when that is precisely what they don't do. They review the news in the papers - they don't sit there and say "I think the use of white space is sooooo 1993 and what were they thinking? Arial with that picture? Don't these people know what page composition is?"
How precisely is it "a great night for Britain" when an actor / sports person / writer / team / or whatever wins an international award? Does Helen Mirren winning an Oscar really make Britain great? Did Ricky Gervais Emmy win really make the world sit up and say "What a country?"
Why do the media use the term "record breaking" when referring to the number of casualties in Iraqi? It isn't "Record Breakers" with Roy Castle and Norris McWhirter keeping score. Why are they comfortable with reducing human cost of this unjust war to that of a fucking domino toppling competition?
Why does the news media insist on reviewing the newspapers anyway - when that is precisely what they don't do. They review the news in the papers - they don't sit there and say "I think the use of white space is sooooo 1993 and what were they thinking? Arial with that picture? Don't these people know what page composition is?"
How precisely is it "a great night for Britain" when an actor / sports person / writer / team / or whatever wins an international award? Does Helen Mirren winning an Oscar really make Britain great? Did Ricky Gervais Emmy win really make the world sit up and say "What a country?"
Why do the media use the term "record breaking" when referring to the number of casualties in Iraqi? It isn't "Record Breakers" with Roy Castle and Norris McWhirter keeping score. Why are they comfortable with reducing human cost of this unjust war to that of a fucking domino toppling competition?
Monday, February 12, 2007
Chip and Pin(ched) +++UPDATE+++
Does this sound familar?
U.K. researchers devise smart-card hack
By Tom Espiner, ZDNet.UK, February 07, 2007
Two Cambridge researchers have created a scenario in which hackers can bypass the latest bank-card security measures.
Saar Drimer and Steven Murdoch, members of the Cambridge University Computer Laboratory, demonstrated last month how they could modify a supposedly tamper-proof chip-and-PIN payment terminal to play Tetris.
They have now extended the hack to demonstrate how they can compromise the system by relaying card information between a genuine card and a fake one.
Chip and PIN, a government-backed initiative introduced last year in England, is a security measure in which a customer must enter a four-digit code when they use a credit or debit card for face-to-face transactions. The measure replaces the magnetic strip with a chip and the use of a four-digit PIN number. The card is placed in a device that authenticates the chip, and then a PIN is entered. Chip and PIN uses the EMV standard for smart cards. Similar but incompatible EMV systems are in use in other countries as well.
The Cambridge researchers argue that the system is not as secure as the banking industry claims.
"Chip and PIN currently does not defend against this attack, despite assertions from the banking community that customers must be liable for frauds in which the PIN was used," the researchers said in an as-yet-unpublished paper.
"When customers pay with a chip and PIN card, they have no choice but to trust the terminal when it displays the amount of the transaction. The terminal, however, could be replaced with a malicious one, without showing any outward traces," the researchers warned in their paper.
Details of the prototype attack were released Monday. In it, Drimer and Murdoch demonstrate how a chip and PIN system could be compromised to steal diamonds.
How the scam works. In the scenario, a customer attempts to pay a restaurant bill. He enters the card details into a terminal that looks real, but has actually been tampered with. It is not connected to a bank, but instead to a laptop in the restaurant.
The terminal is completely under the control of a criminal, who has modified the hardware to relay the card information to an accomplice's laptop, for example in a jewelry shop across town. The accomplice's laptop can receive the information relayed from the legitimate card in the restaurant, and is connected to a modified bank card.
In the prototype system built by Drimer and Murdoch, the chip has been removed from the modified card, and wires to the card run up the sleeve of an attacker and connect to the laptop in a backpack. Such a setup could arouse suspicion, but the researchers believe it is possible to make the card more difficult to detect by using an RFID chip that could communicate wirelessly with the laptop.
The laptop is linked to the other laptop back in the restaurant by a GSM connection. Wi-Fi could potentially be used instead, the researchers said.
The victim places his card into the modified terminal and enters the PIN, and the criminal texts the accomplice at a jeweler's shop to start the heist. The accomplice enters the fake card into the jeweler's terminal. All transactions from the jeweler's terminal are relayed via the fake card, laptops, and fake terminal to the legitimate card.
This links the jeweler's terminal to the victim's bank. As the criminal controls the terminal in the restaurant, they can make it display that the victim will pay $40, when in reality the victim is being charged $4,000 at the jeweler's for a diamond ring.
During this relay attack the criminal doesn't need to hack into any systems or run any decryption because data is simply being relayed from one terminal to another.
The researchers were unwilling to reveal too much of the technology behind the attack because they don't want their methods falling into the wrong hands. But they did say that they used a Field Programmable Gate Array--a semiconductor device containing programmable logic components and programmable interconnects--in the fake card.
Drimer claimed the fraud would be difficult for police to trace, as the victim might only notice once they received a bank statement. They would need to remember where they were when the fraud occurred, as the transaction would show from the jewelry shop, not the restaurant.
"A criminal could have a fast turnaround from this type of attack--most likely it would not be detected," said Drimer.
U.K. researchers devise smart-card hack
By Tom Espiner, ZDNet.UK, February 07, 2007
Two Cambridge researchers have created a scenario in which hackers can bypass the latest bank-card security measures.
Saar Drimer and Steven Murdoch, members of the Cambridge University Computer Laboratory, demonstrated last month how they could modify a supposedly tamper-proof chip-and-PIN payment terminal to play Tetris.
They have now extended the hack to demonstrate how they can compromise the system by relaying card information between a genuine card and a fake one.
Chip and PIN, a government-backed initiative introduced last year in England, is a security measure in which a customer must enter a four-digit code when they use a credit or debit card for face-to-face transactions. The measure replaces the magnetic strip with a chip and the use of a four-digit PIN number. The card is placed in a device that authenticates the chip, and then a PIN is entered. Chip and PIN uses the EMV standard for smart cards. Similar but incompatible EMV systems are in use in other countries as well.
The Cambridge researchers argue that the system is not as secure as the banking industry claims.
"Chip and PIN currently does not defend against this attack, despite assertions from the banking community that customers must be liable for frauds in which the PIN was used," the researchers said in an as-yet-unpublished paper.
"When customers pay with a chip and PIN card, they have no choice but to trust the terminal when it displays the amount of the transaction. The terminal, however, could be replaced with a malicious one, without showing any outward traces," the researchers warned in their paper.
Details of the prototype attack were released Monday. In it, Drimer and Murdoch demonstrate how a chip and PIN system could be compromised to steal diamonds.
How the scam works. In the scenario, a customer attempts to pay a restaurant bill. He enters the card details into a terminal that looks real, but has actually been tampered with. It is not connected to a bank, but instead to a laptop in the restaurant.
The terminal is completely under the control of a criminal, who has modified the hardware to relay the card information to an accomplice's laptop, for example in a jewelry shop across town. The accomplice's laptop can receive the information relayed from the legitimate card in the restaurant, and is connected to a modified bank card.
In the prototype system built by Drimer and Murdoch, the chip has been removed from the modified card, and wires to the card run up the sleeve of an attacker and connect to the laptop in a backpack. Such a setup could arouse suspicion, but the researchers believe it is possible to make the card more difficult to detect by using an RFID chip that could communicate wirelessly with the laptop.
The laptop is linked to the other laptop back in the restaurant by a GSM connection. Wi-Fi could potentially be used instead, the researchers said.
The victim places his card into the modified terminal and enters the PIN, and the criminal texts the accomplice at a jeweler's shop to start the heist. The accomplice enters the fake card into the jeweler's terminal. All transactions from the jeweler's terminal are relayed via the fake card, laptops, and fake terminal to the legitimate card.
This links the jeweler's terminal to the victim's bank. As the criminal controls the terminal in the restaurant, they can make it display that the victim will pay $40, when in reality the victim is being charged $4,000 at the jeweler's for a diamond ring.
During this relay attack the criminal doesn't need to hack into any systems or run any decryption because data is simply being relayed from one terminal to another.
The researchers were unwilling to reveal too much of the technology behind the attack because they don't want their methods falling into the wrong hands. But they did say that they used a Field Programmable Gate Array--a semiconductor device containing programmable logic components and programmable interconnects--in the fake card.
Drimer claimed the fraud would be difficult for police to trace, as the victim might only notice once they received a bank statement. They would need to remember where they were when the fraud occurred, as the transaction would show from the jewelry shop, not the restaurant.
"A criminal could have a fast turnaround from this type of attack--most likely it would not be detected," said Drimer.
Now compare this to what I wrote in here in October
http://angrysince1967.blogspot.com/search?q=chip+and+pinched
I've actually been thinking about this whole chip and pin thing. We've been told by the people who know (they must be experts as I saw one of them being interviewed by Declan Curry on BBC Breakfast) that chip and pin is more secure than the old signature system as it's more difficult to forge. Er? Picture the scene. You're at a restaurant / bar etc and the bill comes. Without thinking they present you with one of those portable chip and pin devices. You happily pop in your number (leaving a tip as well). Do you see the problem? No? How do you know that this device is what it proports to be? Still not concerned? Okay let me put it another way. The smart chip in credit cards is (broadly at least) the same technology used in SIM cards. Did you know you can buy SIM card copiers. And it's not as if they hard things to get. They even sell them in the local supermarket up from my parents house. It doesn't take a massive leap of imagination to see where this is going does it? If SIM cards can be copied them the smart chips in credit cards can be copied as well. All it takes is for someone to disguise this as a portable chip and pin machine and Bob's your uncle, a device which copies the data from your chip, captures the pin number. If they wanted to be really smart they could also incorporate on of those pinhole cameras (like the ones we're always warned about being attached to cash machines) to take a photo of the security number on the back of the signature strip. Of course it will also copy the data on the magnetic strip as well. All it's cost the crooks is a meal, and while your scoffing the cheap sweeties they've given you with the receipt, your bank account is being emptied.
I just like to take this opportunity to say "I told you so". Angry Since 1967 always at least 3 months ahead of the game....
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (14)
You know the form...
Company flogging (supposedly at least) harder to defraud pre-paid credit card for online purchases, claims online fraud now major concern
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6293907.stm
Britons fear being ripped-off online more than gun crime, climate change or even contracting MRSA in hospital, a survey has suggested.
Online fraud worries four out of 10 Britons, according to a survey from 3V, an electronic payments company.
Interesting. Of course this service 3v offers comes at a price. £3.50. Now I know this doesn't sound like much, however you're charged this everytime you top the card up and it's the same amount regardless of how much you top the card up by. If it's the tenner minimum or the maximum amount of £200 it's still £3.50. This means that spending a £10 is going to cost £13.50.
Worse if you have a balance on the card which you'd like converted back to cash they'll charge you £1.75 for the privilege. If you don't use the full balance on the card by it's expiry date, they'll charge you an "account management fee" of £1 per month, every month until either you cash it in or it reaches a balance of £1.75, which they'll take as a "final redemption charge".
I think I'll take my chances. At least with online fraud you don't normally know your being ripped off in advance....
Company flogging (supposedly at least) harder to defraud pre-paid credit card for online purchases, claims online fraud now major concern
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6293907.stm
Britons fear being ripped-off online more than gun crime, climate change or even contracting MRSA in hospital, a survey has suggested.
Online fraud worries four out of 10 Britons, according to a survey from 3V, an electronic payments company.
Interesting. Of course this service 3v offers comes at a price. £3.50. Now I know this doesn't sound like much, however you're charged this everytime you top the card up and it's the same amount regardless of how much you top the card up by. If it's the tenner minimum or the maximum amount of £200 it's still £3.50. This means that spending a £10 is going to cost £13.50.
Worse if you have a balance on the card which you'd like converted back to cash they'll charge you £1.75 for the privilege. If you don't use the full balance on the card by it's expiry date, they'll charge you an "account management fee" of £1 per month, every month until either you cash it in or it reaches a balance of £1.75, which they'll take as a "final redemption charge".
I think I'll take my chances. At least with online fraud you don't normally know your being ripped off in advance....
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
The Gospel According to Saint Jobs
Apple have launched a mobile phone, it has a built in camera. It plays mp3s. It doubles as a PDA. You can surf the internet with it. It runs a version of an operating system, usually only found on desktop computers. Steve Jobs claim that is a "magical new device" which will "revolutionise the industry". Which will come to a shock to the companies already producing virtually indentical products.
But it doesn't matter. This is an Apple product, meaning critical facilties are suspended, awe struck amazement being the only acceptable response.
However it's worth reflecting on the responses this annoucement would have generated if
Panasonic had released the exact same product. People would ask (quite rightly) "what?"
But this is simply symptomatic of a more depressing trend. People evanglising faceless multi-national corporations and the consumer durables they produce. This isn't unique to Apple. There are Playstation devotees, and Xbox disciples, and the rest, versed in the gospels espoused in the latest ad campaign. All happy to shout the doctrine of "mine's better than yours because..." It's religion but without comforting lies of salvation and eternal life. Although I've no doubt a company somewhere is already working on electronic version of eternal life (Life V1.2) and building iHeaven.
But it doesn't matter. This is an Apple product, meaning critical facilties are suspended, awe struck amazement being the only acceptable response.
However it's worth reflecting on the responses this annoucement would have generated if
Panasonic had released the exact same product. People would ask (quite rightly) "what?"
But this is simply symptomatic of a more depressing trend. People evanglising faceless multi-national corporations and the consumer durables they produce. This isn't unique to Apple. There are Playstation devotees, and Xbox disciples, and the rest, versed in the gospels espoused in the latest ad campaign. All happy to shout the doctrine of "mine's better than yours because..." It's religion but without comforting lies of salvation and eternal life. Although I've no doubt a company somewhere is already working on electronic version of eternal life (Life V1.2) and building iHeaven.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
It's like VHS vs Betamax
It only took a day. About half way down the page you'll notice the following gem
Analysts have warned that the format war, which has been likened to the Betamax-VHS videotape fight in the 1980s, could cause confusion amongst consumers and impact on sales of both technologies.
Predictable isn't the word. Can't they think of a different comparison? It's like Sky versus BSB, it's like 8 Track versus Compact Cassette, it's like the Playstation against the Saturn, it's like the Mac against PCs, it's like Dyson versus Hoover. And, as I've mentioned before, the consumer doesn't seem to be confused by the myriad of competing incompatible video games systems.
Of course there is a much more direct comparison, something the analysts fail to acknowledge. DVD recorders. If their view is to be believed, the consumer can't cope with more than one video format, therefore DVD recorders which are available in any number of incompatible versions should have failed, due to public bewilderment. But it didn't happen. VHS is now all but extinct. And it's not like the public are particularly clued up about consumer electronics. It wouldn't have been the first time someone asked me for a JCB video, or claimed they had a Mississippi TV, or wanted a demo of a Dudley Didical amp, or wondered how much a George Formby Health grill cost, or had difficulty with the notion Scotch videotapes were in fact blank.
Which demonstrates one key thing. The public know what they want, analysts only think they know what the public want.
Analysts have warned that the format war, which has been likened to the Betamax-VHS videotape fight in the 1980s, could cause confusion amongst consumers and impact on sales of both technologies.
Predictable isn't the word. Can't they think of a different comparison? It's like Sky versus BSB, it's like 8 Track versus Compact Cassette, it's like the Playstation against the Saturn, it's like the Mac against PCs, it's like Dyson versus Hoover. And, as I've mentioned before, the consumer doesn't seem to be confused by the myriad of competing incompatible video games systems.
Of course there is a much more direct comparison, something the analysts fail to acknowledge. DVD recorders. If their view is to be believed, the consumer can't cope with more than one video format, therefore DVD recorders which are available in any number of incompatible versions should have failed, due to public bewilderment. But it didn't happen. VHS is now all but extinct. And it's not like the public are particularly clued up about consumer electronics. It wouldn't have been the first time someone asked me for a JCB video, or claimed they had a Mississippi TV, or wanted a demo of a Dudley Didical amp, or wondered how much a George Formby Health grill cost, or had difficulty with the notion Scotch videotapes were in fact blank.
Which demonstrates one key thing. The public know what they want, analysts only think they know what the public want.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Angry Since 1967, Which
will turn out to be a load of old cobblers...
Microsoft Vista will be released. Almost immediately, some company or newsgroup, will announce they've managed to find a security flaw. This will come on top of the news that some hardware / software won't work with it. Expect gasping reports on the BBC equating this to the end of civilisation as we know it, and people on Linux / Apple boards having their first orgasms in delight at this news. Meanwhile Vista goes onto be a huge success.
When the PS3 is released expect the Edge to run spoiler stories possibly with guesstimated pictures of the Xbox 3. (Gawd I hate Edge, they are like that bloody kid at school who would come out with things like "I've seen Indiana Jones 4 and it's brilliant" despite the fact it doesn't (yet) exist.) Also expect the Xbox 360's price to drop, to general indifference. Nevertheless the PS3 will be massively successful, and parents can expect long queues in late November trying to get little Timmy his new Playstation in time for Christmas.
At some point in the year a singer / band with their best years long behind them will release a new album. Expect the words "a stunning return to form" to appear in at least 40% of the reviews (this despite the fact these same reviewers told us the previous release was a "stunning return to form")
Surveys will continue to be produced, proving exactly what they intended.
Any mention of "Blu-ray" and "HD-DVD" will be prefixed with the term "VHS Vs Betamax"
DFS sofas will be available at 50% off, with 3 years interest free credit and nothing to pay in the first year (but only if you are quick, as the sale MUST end at 9:00 PM on Sunday 4th January 2099)
Microsoft Vista will be released. Almost immediately, some company or newsgroup, will announce they've managed to find a security flaw. This will come on top of the news that some hardware / software won't work with it. Expect gasping reports on the BBC equating this to the end of civilisation as we know it, and people on Linux / Apple boards having their first orgasms in delight at this news. Meanwhile Vista goes onto be a huge success.
When the PS3 is released expect the Edge to run spoiler stories possibly with guesstimated pictures of the Xbox 3. (Gawd I hate Edge, they are like that bloody kid at school who would come out with things like "I've seen Indiana Jones 4 and it's brilliant" despite the fact it doesn't (yet) exist.) Also expect the Xbox 360's price to drop, to general indifference. Nevertheless the PS3 will be massively successful, and parents can expect long queues in late November trying to get little Timmy his new Playstation in time for Christmas.
At some point in the year a singer / band with their best years long behind them will release a new album. Expect the words "a stunning return to form" to appear in at least 40% of the reviews (this despite the fact these same reviewers told us the previous release was a "stunning return to form")
Surveys will continue to be produced, proving exactly what they intended.
Any mention of "Blu-ray" and "HD-DVD" will be prefixed with the term "VHS Vs Betamax"
DFS sofas will be available at 50% off, with 3 years interest free credit and nothing to pay in the first year (but only if you are quick, as the sale MUST end at 9:00 PM on Sunday 4th January 2099)
Monday, December 18, 2006
I wish it could be Christmas once a year...
It's Christmas. A time of Miles Kington-esque humourless annual reviews, of pictures of people queuing for graded crap in the sales, a time of hopelessly inaccurate predictions for the New Year, a time for retailers to gnash their teeth about pish sales.
And the time when I go home to an internet free oasis.
See you all in the New Year.
And the time when I go home to an internet free oasis.
See you all in the New Year.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Meanwhile here is some music
Due to circumstances beyond my control (I've lost my muse. Don't know where it's vanished to. I looked down the back of the sofa, in the bin (twice), emptied everything out of my cupboards and I still can't find it.) I haven't updated this in ages. Normal service will resume shortly. We return you to our trade test transmissions
Friends Reunited
A few years ago I signed up for Friends Reunited, probably for the same reason that most people do - just to see. And of course like everyone else I filled my little box with what I'd been doing. And left it like that.
But I kept getting those gentle reminder emails saying I hadn't updated my profile so, with all good intention, I set about it. Only to think, a few minutes in "what the fuck am I doing? Why am I spending time telling people I've deemed suitable for jettisoning what I've been up to since the last time they walked passed in the street, pretending not to see me?"
So I told them I tap danced at Kings Cross Underground Station, I worked in McDonalds as a trainee chip fryer, that I'd been convicted of a crime I did not commit, and since escaping the high security stockade I'd been working as a soldier of fortune, that I was responsible for the hyper inflation in the Wiemar Republic, that I was lentil eating, sandal wearing, bearded DJ who'd discovered huge numbers of British bands in the 1970's. And no one was any the wiser.
Which is kind of the point. Friends Reunited is full of people who were never really anyones friend - just people who were acquaintances, who, when the push came to the shove, were easily replaced by another lot of equally easily replaced acquaintances. People whose absence you never noticed. But you shouldn't feel too bad about this. We're all someone's acquaintance.
But I kept getting those gentle reminder emails saying I hadn't updated my profile so, with all good intention, I set about it. Only to think, a few minutes in "what the fuck am I doing? Why am I spending time telling people I've deemed suitable for jettisoning what I've been up to since the last time they walked passed in the street, pretending not to see me?"
So I told them I tap danced at Kings Cross Underground Station, I worked in McDonalds as a trainee chip fryer, that I'd been convicted of a crime I did not commit, and since escaping the high security stockade I'd been working as a soldier of fortune, that I was responsible for the hyper inflation in the Wiemar Republic, that I was lentil eating, sandal wearing, bearded DJ who'd discovered huge numbers of British bands in the 1970's. And no one was any the wiser.
Which is kind of the point. Friends Reunited is full of people who were never really anyones friend - just people who were acquaintances, who, when the push came to the shove, were easily replaced by another lot of equally easily replaced acquaintances. People whose absence you never noticed. But you shouldn't feel too bad about this. We're all someone's acquaintance.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
O'Briens Irish Sandwich Bars - Not The Taste of Home
O'Briens "Irish" Sandwich shops really get on my tits. It's the Monty Python "Cheese Shop Sketch" for real.
"Can I have mine in some soda farls?"
"No we don't sell those"
"how about in some wheaten or soda bread?"
"er... no"
"This is an Irish Sandwich shop?"
"Yes"
"Okay what can I have it in then?"
"A bagel, a wrap or some shamrock foccacia bread"
"What part of Ireland do they come from?"
I actually asked in an O'Briens if they sold potato bread. "No" I was informed "we don't sell any of that foreign stuff."
It's even more ironic as the founder of the company, Brodie Sweeney claims that their shops “Irishness” is "...integral to the O’Briens experience." I'll try and remember that the next time I see one of their stores advertising a Chicken Chili Wrap as "traditional Irish".
"Can I have mine in some soda farls?"
"No we don't sell those"
"how about in some wheaten or soda bread?"
"er... no"
"This is an Irish Sandwich shop?"
"Yes"
"Okay what can I have it in then?"
"A bagel, a wrap or some shamrock foccacia bread"
"What part of Ireland do they come from?"
I actually asked in an O'Briens if they sold potato bread. "No" I was informed "we don't sell any of that foreign stuff."
It's even more ironic as the founder of the company, Brodie Sweeney claims that their shops “Irishness” is "...integral to the O’Briens experience." I'll try and remember that the next time I see one of their stores advertising a Chicken Chili Wrap as "traditional Irish".
Friday, November 24, 2006
Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (13)
Today's Survey....Consultants offering web accessibility advice claim retail web sites inaccessible
M&S tops High Street web ranking
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6180362.stm
Marks & Spencer's website has topped a new ranking of user-friendly websites, with its fashion retailing rivals Next and Top Shop struggling at the bottom.
Web usability consultants Webcredible assessed the websites of 20 of the UK's most popular High Street retailers.
It cited confusing search results, poor navigation and complicated checkout procedures as the worst mistakes.
If they'd only used Webcredible they'd be able to call upon the powers of Dr Webcredible and his superfriends, Hyperlink and Webcrawler. You can follow their adventures here .
M&S tops High Street web ranking
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6180362.stm
Marks & Spencer's website has topped a new ranking of user-friendly websites, with its fashion retailing rivals Next and Top Shop struggling at the bottom.
Web usability consultants Webcredible assessed the websites of 20 of the UK's most popular High Street retailers.
It cited confusing search results, poor navigation and complicated checkout procedures as the worst mistakes.
If they'd only used Webcredible they'd be able to call upon the powers of Dr Webcredible and his superfriends, Hyperlink and Webcrawler. You can follow their adventures here .
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Podcasts - The Sound Of No One Listening
Some shocking research reported on the BBC. No-one listens to podcasts.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6175728.stm
After all the hype, all the techno jargon, the pages and pages of analysis, and the warnings of the end of broadcasting as we know it, a survey says pretty much what we all knew. No one listens to them.
Charlene Li, one of the authors of the Forrester report admitted on her blog at the time of the report that "measurement is still really hard to do". In particular she said that "counting podcast downloads is a dubious way to measure usage".
Bravo Charlene. The figures don't fit the projections so how they were measured is "dubious". I wonder if the figures had been in line with projections whether she'd have expressed the same concerns.
Next they'll be telling us that no-one reads blogs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6175728.stm
After all the hype, all the techno jargon, the pages and pages of analysis, and the warnings of the end of broadcasting as we know it, a survey says pretty much what we all knew. No one listens to them.
Charlene Li, one of the authors of the Forrester report admitted on her blog at the time of the report that "measurement is still really hard to do". In particular she said that "counting podcast downloads is a dubious way to measure usage".
Bravo Charlene. The figures don't fit the projections so how they were measured is "dubious". I wonder if the figures had been in line with projections whether she'd have expressed the same concerns.
Next they'll be telling us that no-one reads blogs..
Monday, November 20, 2006
Advertising Claims - Head and Shoulders Shampoo - Now "up 100% flake-free"
When I heard this claim (a couple of months ago) I thought I was imagining things. Depressingly not. It's on their website as well
Our Classic Clean shampoo with new HydraZinc formula is now better than ever! It's formula, containing zinc, not only helps keep your scalp healthy and up to 100% flake-free but also combats itchiness and tightness as well. Plus, the pH-balanced formula is gentle enough for everyday use and leaves your hair looking and feeling thoroughly clean
How the frig can they claim with a straight face that something is up to 100% effective? This is just English twisted to breaking point.
Our Classic Clean shampoo with new HydraZinc formula is now better than ever! It's formula, containing zinc, not only helps keep your scalp healthy and up to 100% flake-free but also combats itchiness and tightness as well. Plus, the pH-balanced formula is gentle enough for everyday use and leaves your hair looking and feeling thoroughly clean
How the frig can they claim with a straight face that something is up to 100% effective? This is just English twisted to breaking point.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
WTF?
I was standing looking at the magazines in Tescos and a thought struck me. Could someone please explain the rationale behind the covers of "Stuff"? Every month there is some female model, draped provocatively around some new games console, mp3 player or alike. My question is, do the uber geeks who buy this really think that the model, with the big tits, long legs and firm arse, on the cover is really getting aroused stroking that fecking Laptop? Perhaps they think "if I had that (insert brand) she'd wanna stroke me". No she won't. She'll think "you're a wab..."
Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (12)
Today's Survey....Company selling PC backup utilities says you should back up your PC
Top 10 data disasters revealed
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6147984.stm
Hard drives kept in dirty socks and the dangers of oiling your PC feature in a top 10 list of data disasters. In one case, a university professor needed help after he tried to fix a squeaky desktop computer by squirting it with WD-40 oil. The squeak went away, but so did his data. In another case, the decision to send a damaged hard drive to data recovery firm OnTrack, which compiled the list, in a pair of socks did more damage.
Further
"No matter how catastrophic the situation may seem, it pays to have your hard drive or storage device evaluated by a professional service because chances are good that we'll be successful in recovering critical data regardless of how it was lost in the first place," said Phil Bridge, managing director of Ontrack UK.
I sure that the results of this survey are in no related to it being commissioned by a company which offers a data recovery service. Or something...
Top 10 data disasters revealed
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6147984.stm
Hard drives kept in dirty socks and the dangers of oiling your PC feature in a top 10 list of data disasters. In one case, a university professor needed help after he tried to fix a squeaky desktop computer by squirting it with WD-40 oil. The squeak went away, but so did his data. In another case, the decision to send a damaged hard drive to data recovery firm OnTrack, which compiled the list, in a pair of socks did more damage.
Further
"No matter how catastrophic the situation may seem, it pays to have your hard drive or storage device evaluated by a professional service because chances are good that we'll be successful in recovering critical data regardless of how it was lost in the first place," said Phil Bridge, managing director of Ontrack UK.
I sure that the results of this survey are in no related to it being commissioned by a company which offers a data recovery service. Or something...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Breaking News - Customer gets refund....
Keep up to date with this breaking story here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6144782.stm
You must be frigging joking. This is news worthy? Some geek with an agenda gets a refund on a PC because it runs Windows Xp? And he's still not happy - he wants the money to come from Microsoft. You know I wonder how people like this would deal with a real crisis in their lives.
You must be frigging joking. This is news worthy? Some geek with an agenda gets a refund on a PC because it runs Windows Xp? And he's still not happy - he wants the money to come from Microsoft. You know I wonder how people like this would deal with a real crisis in their lives.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Our Survey Claims....Exactly What We Wanted (11)
Today's Survey....More stuff about Universities
Tutorials 'hit by staffing cuts'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6132108.stm
and how it was reported.
Now I'm not going to debate (for once) the accuracy or bias which may have influenced this survey all I want to know is why one warrants "says", but the second gets the caveat "claims".
Does this mean that one less reliable that the other? Was the methodology open to question? Are the QAA not to be trusted?
Tutorials 'hit by staffing cuts'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6132108.stm
Rising student numbers and staffing cuts mean some undergraduates are receiving less academic support, the education quality watchdog has claimed.
A couple of weeks ago I posted about this http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6099768.stmand how it was reported.
Now I'm not going to debate (for once) the accuracy or bias which may have influenced this survey all I want to know is why one warrants "says", but the second gets the caveat "claims".
Does this mean that one less reliable that the other? Was the methodology open to question? Are the QAA not to be trusted?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (10)
Today's Survey....Company which builds websites for retailers says most retail websites are too slow
Websites face four-second cut-off
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6131668.stm
If a website takes longer than four seconds to load, shoppers are likely to abandon it, a survey suggests.
I wonder how many customers from this list http://www.akamai.com/html/customers/customer_list.html they tried?
Websites face four-second cut-off
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6131668.stm
If a website takes longer than four seconds to load, shoppers are likely to abandon it, a survey suggests.
I wonder how many customers from this list http://www.akamai.com/html/customers/customer_list.html they tried?
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Er...
Why do marketers and advertisers think adding the prefix "i" to a word makes it some how more relevant?
i-it i-fucking i-doesn't.
Why do "analysts" and "industry insiders" think having two incompatible high definition video disc systems (BluRay and HD-DVD) is a bad thing, while having at least five incompatible video games systems (PS2, that Nintendo thing, the two xboxs and PCs (not including handheld systems) is a good thing?
i-it i-fucking i-doesn't.
Why do "analysts" and "industry insiders" think having two incompatible high definition video disc systems (BluRay and HD-DVD) is a bad thing, while having at least five incompatible video games systems (PS2, that Nintendo thing, the two xboxs and PCs (not including handheld systems) is a good thing?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Our Survey Says....Exactly What We Wanted (9)
Today's Survey....Organisation plugging Digital TV says people aren't buying digital TVs
Sales setback for digital TV sets
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6120442.stm
Almost two-thirds of television sets sold recently in the UK cannot receive digital TV signals.
Digital-ready TVs only accounted for 36% of sales over the summer, according to Digital UK - the independent body leading the switchover.
There's no question of analogue TVs becoming redundant," said Jon Steel, a spokesman for Digital UK, "but people find it easier to have integrated digital TVs".
This is, of course, utter rot. A TV with a SCART socket on the back is "Digital Compatible" in the same way that it is "VCR Compatible" and "DVD Compatible". And it's not like SCART connections are some sort of expensive new fangled technology that only uber-geeks use. SCARTs have been standard on TV's and VCR's for the last 20 years (they were introduced in France in the late 70's for goodness sake before being adopted across Europe).
It's even more inaccurate because the majority of DVB (digital tv settop boxes) sold also have an old type "aerial through" connection. Which means you simply plug the aerial into the DVB box, then take the cable and stick it into the back of the TV. Then you tune in a spare channel on the TV to the Set-Top box and bob is your uncle. Digital TV.
If this sounds familiar then it's exactly what that nice man from Laskey's did when your da bought the families first video in all it's piano key, top loading, one event timer, wired remote control glory. Indeed you could get your big old Ferguson TX set (complete with it's wood effect plastic finish) down from the roof space, plug in the same VCR (which will still work - old video recorders were built like battlecruisers) and then attach your set-top box. 21st Century Digital TV. 80's style.
Sales setback for digital TV sets
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6120442.stm
Almost two-thirds of television sets sold recently in the UK cannot receive digital TV signals.
Digital-ready TVs only accounted for 36% of sales over the summer, according to Digital UK - the independent body leading the switchover.
There's no question of analogue TVs becoming redundant," said Jon Steel, a spokesman for Digital UK, "but people find it easier to have integrated digital TVs".
This is, of course, utter rot. A TV with a SCART socket on the back is "Digital Compatible" in the same way that it is "VCR Compatible" and "DVD Compatible". And it's not like SCART connections are some sort of expensive new fangled technology that only uber-geeks use. SCARTs have been standard on TV's and VCR's for the last 20 years (they were introduced in France in the late 70's for goodness sake before being adopted across Europe).
It's even more inaccurate because the majority of DVB (digital tv settop boxes) sold also have an old type "aerial through" connection. Which means you simply plug the aerial into the DVB box, then take the cable and stick it into the back of the TV. Then you tune in a spare channel on the TV to the Set-Top box and bob is your uncle. Digital TV.
If this sounds familiar then it's exactly what that nice man from Laskey's did when your da bought the families first video in all it's piano key, top loading, one event timer, wired remote control glory. Indeed you could get your big old Ferguson TX set (complete with it's wood effect plastic finish) down from the roof space, plug in the same VCR (which will still work - old video recorders were built like battlecruisers) and then attach your set-top box. 21st Century Digital TV. 80's style.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (8)
Today's Survey.... Jargon damages work performance, finds organisation who offer to improve work performance
Workplace jargon 'isolates staff'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6118828.stm
Needless jargon in the workplace is baffling employees and widening the divide between management and staff, a survey suggests. Investors in People said that the proliferation of phrases such as "blue-sky thinking" and "brain dump" was damaging to British industry.
Directly from the press release the BBC semi reheated, Nicola Clark, Director at Investors in People (UK) claimed
"The research gives bosses an invaluable insight into the impact of management jargon on the workplace. Whilst it can be a useful shorthand at times, managers need to be more alert to when and how they use it. Cutting jargon out of everyday communication is clearly a challenge, with almost half (48%) of employees that use jargon admitting to using it without thinking. However, as our research shows, if used inappropriately, jargon can be an obstacle to understanding, which ultimately can impact on an individual's performance and an organisation's productivity. "
So meaningless jargon damages industry. I wonder what impact meaningless surveys have?
Workplace jargon 'isolates staff'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6118828.stm
Needless jargon in the workplace is baffling employees and widening the divide between management and staff, a survey suggests. Investors in People said that the proliferation of phrases such as "blue-sky thinking" and "brain dump" was damaging to British industry.
Directly from the press release the BBC semi reheated, Nicola Clark, Director at Investors in People (UK) claimed
"The research gives bosses an invaluable insight into the impact of management jargon on the workplace. Whilst it can be a useful shorthand at times, managers need to be more alert to when and how they use it. Cutting jargon out of everyday communication is clearly a challenge, with almost half (48%) of employees that use jargon admitting to using it without thinking. However, as our research shows, if used inappropriately, jargon can be an obstacle to understanding, which ultimately can impact on an individual's performance and an organisation's productivity. "
So meaningless jargon damages industry. I wonder what impact meaningless surveys have?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Er....
Why is it when TV documentaries interview people are speaking in their native language, they always insist in having a voiceover in a "comedy" English version? I watched a thing the other night about the Napoleonic Wars and it was like listening to Allo' Allo' (with more laughs, obviously)
Why when they insist on showing "recreations" they shoot them in B&W, undercrank the film and add noise to the picture to give it that "authentic silent movie gleam". I particularly enjoyed a documentary about Brunel which featured quite a few of these. The problem is that Brunel died in 1859, silent film didn't appear until c1894. It's as accurate as having John Lennon write a blog and releasing songs for download via his web site...
Why when they insist on showing "recreations" they shoot them in B&W, undercrank the film and add noise to the picture to give it that "authentic silent movie gleam". I particularly enjoyed a documentary about Brunel which featured quite a few of these. The problem is that Brunel died in 1859, silent film didn't appear until c1894. It's as accurate as having John Lennon write a blog and releasing songs for download via his web site...
Friday, November 03, 2006
Which? Watch
It's that time of the month again. Two surveys caught the media's eye. One about dirty kitchens in Hospitals (like you have a choice which kitchen you can eat from while your in hospital) but the more interesting one "revealing" Supermarket financial services aren't as good as that offered by dedicated financial institutions. Shocking isn't it? I mean everything else supermarkets offer the consumer is the best avaliable. Just take a look at the quality of the own brand food they peddle. They only use finest, continental, hand selected, pure, artificial colouring and preservative. It seems they apply the same standards to their banking services. Of course there is a more fundamental point. What do people expect? Tescos, Waitrose, Sainsburys etc are bloody supermarkets not banks. If I could buy 1/2 a kilo of sprouts in a Barclays I'd kind of expect they'd be worse value and quality than those in Tesco.....
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (7)
Today's Survey...Survey commissioned by Doctors claims Doctors are the most trusted profession.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6105616.stm
Members of the public trust doctors above all other professionals, according to a survey.
Pollsters commissioned by the Royal College of Physicians asked people whom they would trust to tell the truth from a list of 19 professions
Further
Ian Gilmore, President of the Royal College of Physicians, said he was delighted with the survey's findings.
The public approval fitted in with efforts made by the college to "redefine the doctor-patient relationship in a changing world", he said.
"With patients having access to an increasing range of health facts and figures about their health, it is reassuring to know that the doctor-patient relationship is still highly valued."
You'd think I'd made this up. But to be honest (as demonstrated by the last week) I don't need to. People may wonder why I think surveys are useless and the media are idiots for repeatedly publishing the results of these spurious polls without one single piece of analysis. But the question is - if I can do it why can't the media?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6105616.stm
Members of the public trust doctors above all other professionals, according to a survey.
Pollsters commissioned by the Royal College of Physicians asked people whom they would trust to tell the truth from a list of 19 professions
Further
Ian Gilmore, President of the Royal College of Physicians, said he was delighted with the survey's findings.
The public approval fitted in with efforts made by the college to "redefine the doctor-patient relationship in a changing world", he said.
"With patients having access to an increasing range of health facts and figures about their health, it is reassuring to know that the doctor-patient relationship is still highly valued."
You'd think I'd made this up. But to be honest (as demonstrated by the last week) I don't need to. People may wonder why I think surveys are useless and the media are idiots for repeatedly publishing the results of these spurious polls without one single piece of analysis. But the question is - if I can do it why can't the media?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (6)
Today's Survey...Universities UK produce survey which doesn't say anything..
Student work rates 'vary widely'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6099768.stm
The work put in by students in England varies greatly between both subjects and institutions - bringing the value of a degree into doubt, a report says.
Er, no it doesn't. The BBC even contradicts this claim later in the article "The report does not prove that the degree classification system is flawed, but it certainly raises questions that need to be addressed"
Of course as anyone who's been reading this blog over the past week will realise the devil is in the detail. In the pre-amble to the report the UK Universities qualify the results thus
"5. The survey provides the most detailed account yet of what students receive when they study at an English university. Inevitably, though there are limits to the conclusions which can be drawn on the basis of the survey. The paragraphs below set out the most important of these considerations.
a. The survey reports the responses students gave to the questions asked about the number of hours of teaching they received, their own academic effort and their own satisfaction with their experiences. It may not, therefore, provide a definitive quantification of the amount of teaching provided in English universities the accounts students give may be unreliable.
So the data they are basing their conclusions on could be unreliable.
b. The survey has produced a set of quantitative indicators which describe what is provided in English universities but there is no suggestion that these are indicators of the quality of education. That is quite a different matter, and the formal teaching students receive -- and the amount of private study they undertake - are just some of the inputs that go towards determining the quality of the experience.
The data been quantified in a way that does not reflect the quality of the actual education the students get
c. The measures of satisfaction reported here are not intended to replicate or substitute for those provided by the National Student Survey (the latter provide a guide to overall levels of student satisfaction). They have been included to enable us to establish whether there is a link between the quantity of the different types of provision students report receiving and their satisfaction with it.
eh?
d. Whilst the sample is large, it is not large enough to provide reliable information on every subject offered in every institution. Because we required a minimum level of response before the results were treated as reliable there are many institutions where results are not shown. However, sufficient are shown to enable lessons to be drawn about provision across the sector as a whole. Annex B provides information about the sample.
It doesn't cover what it claims to cover i.e all the Universities in England
e. Where students are asked to reply in terms of activity in a week, it should be born in mind that universities have different numbers of weeks in an academic year (and in particular Oxford and Cambridge have fewer than others). These results (in these and other respects) cannot therefore be taken as saying all there is to say about the amount of provision that students receive.
And it's been skewed by other factors localised to certain Universities.
So let me get this straight. The data is potentially unreliable, doesn't measure quality, linked to something isn't quantified, doesn't include all that it proports to, and is skewed by local circumstances.
How the hell can it's results be treated with anything other than skeptism. To paraphrase - "The report is flawed, and it certainly raises questions that need to be addressed" such as why hell don't journalists bother to check things before publishing stories based on surveys, when even the most cursory glance would demonstrate that its flawed to the point of being utterly useless?
Student work rates 'vary widely'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6099768.stm
The work put in by students in England varies greatly between both subjects and institutions - bringing the value of a degree into doubt, a report says.
Er, no it doesn't. The BBC even contradicts this claim later in the article "The report does not prove that the degree classification system is flawed, but it certainly raises questions that need to be addressed"
Of course as anyone who's been reading this blog over the past week will realise the devil is in the detail. In the pre-amble to the report the UK Universities qualify the results thus
"5. The survey provides the most detailed account yet of what students receive when they study at an English university. Inevitably, though there are limits to the conclusions which can be drawn on the basis of the survey. The paragraphs below set out the most important of these considerations.
a. The survey reports the responses students gave to the questions asked about the number of hours of teaching they received, their own academic effort and their own satisfaction with their experiences. It may not, therefore, provide a definitive quantification of the amount of teaching provided in English universities the accounts students give may be unreliable.
So the data they are basing their conclusions on could be unreliable.
b. The survey has produced a set of quantitative indicators which describe what is provided in English universities but there is no suggestion that these are indicators of the quality of education. That is quite a different matter, and the formal teaching students receive -- and the amount of private study they undertake - are just some of the inputs that go towards determining the quality of the experience.
The data been quantified in a way that does not reflect the quality of the actual education the students get
c. The measures of satisfaction reported here are not intended to replicate or substitute for those provided by the National Student Survey (the latter provide a guide to overall levels of student satisfaction). They have been included to enable us to establish whether there is a link between the quantity of the different types of provision students report receiving and their satisfaction with it.
eh?
d. Whilst the sample is large, it is not large enough to provide reliable information on every subject offered in every institution. Because we required a minimum level of response before the results were treated as reliable there are many institutions where results are not shown. However, sufficient are shown to enable lessons to be drawn about provision across the sector as a whole. Annex B provides information about the sample.
It doesn't cover what it claims to cover i.e all the Universities in England
e. Where students are asked to reply in terms of activity in a week, it should be born in mind that universities have different numbers of weeks in an academic year (and in particular Oxford and Cambridge have fewer than others). These results (in these and other respects) cannot therefore be taken as saying all there is to say about the amount of provision that students receive.
And it's been skewed by other factors localised to certain Universities.
So let me get this straight. The data is potentially unreliable, doesn't measure quality, linked to something isn't quantified, doesn't include all that it proports to, and is skewed by local circumstances.
How the hell can it's results be treated with anything other than skeptism. To paraphrase - "The report is flawed, and it certainly raises questions that need to be addressed" such as why hell don't journalists bother to check things before publishing stories based on surveys, when even the most cursory glance would demonstrate that its flawed to the point of being utterly useless?
Friday, October 27, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (5)
Today's survey* - Travel site you can't book Ryanair or Easyjet Flights via, claims Ryanair and Easyjet are rubbish
Ryanair - the world's least favourite airline
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1931403,00.html
The Guardian reports "In a poll of 4,000 travellers around the world, unfriendly staff were cited as the worst part of the Ryanair experience, followed by delays and poor legroom. Low-cost travel fares badly in the study, with easyJet coming second to its Irish rival in a questionnaire of British flyers"
Er (gawd I've been saying that a lot this week) far be it for me to point out the subtle piece of misdirection in this. In the first sentence it says 4,000 travellers from around the world were polled and in the second line it makes a distinction between this figure and the number of British flyers questioned. So how many was it? Interesting as well that on the Trip Advisor website http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/pages/press_news_102506 you'll notice the press release doesn't even mention Ryanair or Easyjet. Which I suppose could be explained by the possiblity that the media get a different version of the report, targetted more specifically at their local market
Further information about this survey was published on the BBC's website. They report that the Trip Advisor survey named British Airways as the best Airline
Out of interest I tried to book flights from Stansted Airport (Ryanair's European centre and one of Easyjets main hubs) to Dublin and Belfast respectively. You know just to see how Trip Advisor punters would encounter the whole Ryanair / Easyjet experience from booking to flying. Guess what? You can't. The following error occured when trying to get a flight from STN (Stansted) to BFS (Belfast International) "Sorry, we could not find any flights between STN and BFS" which is curious given that Easyjet (their second worst airline) fly from Stansted to Belfast upto 5 times a day. The same error message occurs when trying to book a Ryanair flight from STN to DUB(lin). So I had a dig around just to see which airlines I could book flights with. Guess which airline's flights are available via the site. No really, you'll never guess...
*it was actually published yesterday but Blogger was down for essential maintenance
Ryanair - the world's least favourite airline
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1931403,00.html
The Guardian reports "In a poll of 4,000 travellers around the world, unfriendly staff were cited as the worst part of the Ryanair experience, followed by delays and poor legroom. Low-cost travel fares badly in the study, with easyJet coming second to its Irish rival in a questionnaire of British flyers"
Er (gawd I've been saying that a lot this week) far be it for me to point out the subtle piece of misdirection in this. In the first sentence it says 4,000 travellers from around the world were polled and in the second line it makes a distinction between this figure and the number of British flyers questioned. So how many was it? Interesting as well that on the Trip Advisor website http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/pages/press_news_102506 you'll notice the press release doesn't even mention Ryanair or Easyjet. Which I suppose could be explained by the possiblity that the media get a different version of the report, targetted more specifically at their local market
Further information about this survey was published on the BBC's website. They report that the Trip Advisor survey named British Airways as the best Airline
Out of interest I tried to book flights from Stansted Airport (Ryanair's European centre and one of Easyjets main hubs) to Dublin and Belfast respectively. You know just to see how Trip Advisor punters would encounter the whole Ryanair / Easyjet experience from booking to flying. Guess what? You can't. The following error occured when trying to get a flight from STN (Stansted) to BFS (Belfast International) "Sorry, we could not find any flights between STN and BFS" which is curious given that Easyjet (their second worst airline) fly from Stansted to Belfast upto 5 times a day. The same error message occurs when trying to book a Ryanair flight from STN to DUB(lin). So I had a dig around just to see which airlines I could book flights with. Guess which airline's flights are available via the site. No really, you'll never guess...
*it was actually published yesterday but Blogger was down for essential maintenance
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (4)
Today's Survey - Bed Manufacturer's organisation says you should buy a new bed so you can sleep better.
http://www.responsesource.com/releases/rel_display.php?relid=27806&hilite=
GRUMPY OLD WOMEN
It’s official! Women are grumpier than men in the morning.They are not only grumpier more often than men but they are grumpier for longer.According to a new Sleep Council survey, 24% of men say they never wake up in a bad mood as opposed to only 14% of women. The fairer sex is also more likely to stay grumpier for longer with 13% of them staying in a bad mood for two to four hours (men 10%).
Further the "comfort of a bed was quite a significant factor in these results,” says Jessica Alexander (Sleep Council Spokesperson). “Because while many people find it hard to tear themselves out of a comfortable bed in the morning, another 10% of participants cited a bad bed as a reason for poor sleep. Clearly these people either need to replace their bed more often or pay more for something in which they spend a third of their lives.”
The interesting thing about this survey (light-hearted as it is) is that it's been produced by the Sleep Council. Sounds impressive until you realise the Sleep Council (from their website) "is a non-profit organisation, limited by guarantee and funded by bed manufacturers, retailers and suppliers." mmmm....
http://www.responsesource.com/releases/rel_display.php?relid=27806&hilite=
GRUMPY OLD WOMEN
It’s official! Women are grumpier than men in the morning.They are not only grumpier more often than men but they are grumpier for longer.According to a new Sleep Council survey, 24% of men say they never wake up in a bad mood as opposed to only 14% of women. The fairer sex is also more likely to stay grumpier for longer with 13% of them staying in a bad mood for two to four hours (men 10%).
Further the "comfort of a bed was quite a significant factor in these results,” says Jessica Alexander (Sleep Council Spokesperson). “Because while many people find it hard to tear themselves out of a comfortable bed in the morning, another 10% of participants cited a bad bed as a reason for poor sleep. Clearly these people either need to replace their bed more often or pay more for something in which they spend a third of their lives.”
The interesting thing about this survey (light-hearted as it is) is that it's been produced by the Sleep Council. Sounds impressive until you realise the Sleep Council (from their website) "is a non-profit organisation, limited by guarantee and funded by bed manufacturers, retailers and suppliers." mmmm....
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (3)
Today's survey - Anti-bullying in work survey reveals bullying in work
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6076902.stm
Bullying hits 20% of UK workers
One in five UK workers have faced bullying and harassment at work in the past two years, a survey says
A serious issue, but why do they feel the need to back this up with a survey? Frankly if it was only 1% of workers experiencing bullying at work then that would still be 1% too many.
I only started doing this with surveys yesterday and already there is a depressing pattern emerging.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6076902.stm
Bullying hits 20% of UK workers
One in five UK workers have faced bullying and harassment at work in the past two years, a survey says
A serious issue, but why do they feel the need to back this up with a survey? Frankly if it was only 1% of workers experiencing bullying at work then that would still be 1% too many.
I only started doing this with surveys yesterday and already there is a depressing pattern emerging.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted (2)
Today's second survey - Organisation promoting energy saving finds energy being wasted.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6075794.stm
UK 'tops energy wasters league'
Britons are the worst energy wasters in Europe with bad habits which could cost £11bn by 2010, a survey of Europe's five most populous nations suggests.
Er? How can the BBC claim Britons are the worst energy wasters in Europe when the survey didn't cover all the countries in Europe? This is an important issue being clouded by sensationalist (and frankly inaccurate) headlines
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6075794.stm
UK 'tops energy wasters league'
Britons are the worst energy wasters in Europe with bad habits which could cost £11bn by 2010, a survey of Europe's five most populous nations suggests.
Er? How can the BBC claim Britons are the worst energy wasters in Europe when the survey didn't cover all the countries in Europe? This is an important issue being clouded by sensationalist (and frankly inaccurate) headlines
Our Survey Says...Exactly What We Wanted
Today's First survey - Children's geography magazine finds British children don't know their geography.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6074202.stm
According to the results "One in 10 children could not name a single continent. One in five British children cannot find the UK on a map of the world..."
Which roughly translated means - "if you want your kids to learn about geography buy a magazine you'd never have otherwise heard of if it wasn't for the results of this survey being printed on the BBC site"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6074202.stm
According to the results "One in 10 children could not name a single continent. One in five British children cannot find the UK on a map of the world..."
Which roughly translated means - "if you want your kids to learn about geography buy a magazine you'd never have otherwise heard of if it wasn't for the results of this survey being printed on the BBC site"
Sunday, October 22, 2006
DFS Sale Watch
6 Days after the end of "The 50% Off The 07 Collection Sale", it's now "The 50% Off The Winter Collection Sale"
How do they do it?
How do they do it?
Friday, October 20, 2006
Er.....
Why does everyone who posts pictures on flickr feel obligated to have at least one "artsy" landscape photograph?
Who reads newspaper columns called things like "The Insider" and believes them?
Why do said columns always feature photos of people you've never heard of standing on the entrance steps of hotels?
When was the last you watched an interview on TV and thought "I didn't know that"?
Why do people think Radio 2 has got better, when the truth is they've just got older?
Who reads newspaper columns called things like "The Insider" and believes them?
Why do said columns always feature photos of people you've never heard of standing on the entrance steps of hotels?
When was the last you watched an interview on TV and thought "I didn't know that"?
Why do people think Radio 2 has got better, when the truth is they've just got older?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Chip and Pin(ched?)
I've actually been thinking about this whole chip and pin thing. We've been told by the people who know (they must be experts as I saw one of them being interviewed by Declan Curry on BBC Breakfast) that chip and pin is more secure than the old signature system as it's more difficult to forge. Er? Picture the scene. You're at a restaurant / bar etc and the bill comes. Without thinking they present you with one of those portable chip and pin devices. You happily pop in your number (leaving a tip as well). Do you see the problem? No? How do you know that this device is what it proports to be? Still not concerned? Okay let me put it another way. The smart chip in credit cards is (broadly at least) the same technology used in SIM cards. Did you know you can buy SIM card copiers. And it's not as if they hard things to get. They even sell them in the local supermarket up from my parents house. It doesn't take a massive leap of imagination to see where this is going does it? If SIM cards can be copied them the smart chips in credit cards can be copied as well. All it takes is for someone to disguise this as a portable chip and pin machine and Bob's your uncle, a device which copies the data from your chip, captures the pin number. If they wanted to be really smart they could also incorporate on of those pinhole cameras (like the ones we're always warned about being attached to cash machines) to take a photo of the security number on the back of the signature strip. Of course it will also copy the data on the magnetic strip as well. All it's cost the crooks is a meal, and while your scoffing the cheap sweeties they've given you with the receipt, your bank account is being emptied.
Er I think I'm going to revert back to cash, or to paraphrase someone "if it doesn't scratch glass I don't accept it"
Er I think I'm going to revert back to cash, or to paraphrase someone "if it doesn't scratch glass I don't accept it"
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Which? Watch +++UPDATE+++
Following on from the high profile Which? campaign Tescos relented and have fitted "chip and pin" readers on their self service tills. Bravo all concerned.
Monday, October 09, 2006
You shouldn't....
Trust people who use fountain pens.
Buy albums which have the best known track on twice.
Use condoms which claim to be "natural".
Think you're getting a bargain on ebay.
Believe newspaper columnists with head and shoulders photos beside their names.
Buy albums which have the best known track on twice.
Use condoms which claim to be "natural".
Think you're getting a bargain on ebay.
Believe newspaper columnists with head and shoulders photos beside their names.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Which? Watch
Bang on cue. Tesco's Self Service Tills Fraud Risk.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/5406742.stm
They've only just discovered (as someone who has used these tills regularly for the past 18 months will tell you) when you use a credit card they don't ask for any sort of validation let alone a pin number. You just swipe (ahem) and go. So why has the self appointed champion of consumer rights taken so long to spot this glaring security lapse? Which? readers shop in Waitrose, so they wouldn't know that a "Tesco" is, let alone that they have self service tills.
But now Which? are on the case we can rest easy in bed, knowing that our stolen credit cards can't be used for buying bog rolls, Rizlas and packets of Monster Munch in Tescos anymore.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/5406742.stm
They've only just discovered (as someone who has used these tills regularly for the past 18 months will tell you) when you use a credit card they don't ask for any sort of validation let alone a pin number. You just swipe (ahem) and go. So why has the self appointed champion of consumer rights taken so long to spot this glaring security lapse? Which? readers shop in Waitrose, so they wouldn't know that a "Tesco" is, let alone that they have self service tills.
But now Which? are on the case we can rest easy in bed, knowing that our stolen credit cards can't be used for buying bog rolls, Rizlas and packets of Monster Munch in Tescos anymore.
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