My "wear sunscreen" moment.

After the events of this week, when I was treated like a participant in an episode of "The Chuckle Brothers", complete with a "to me, to you" moment, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on this whole recruitment agency thingy. Way back at the start of this adventure I was given some advice about using agencies, how they work and the pitfalls I might encounter. 

• Agencies have their own goals, targets and motivations. These may, occasionally and only for short periods, broadly coincide with yours.
• The only time they will be interested in assisting is when they've already placed you in a job.
• You are a drain on their resources until they land you a job. 
• As they provide this service for free expect a standard that reflects it's cost.
• The staff turnover within agencies is enormous. Don't expect to speak to the same person twice. 
• They won't read your CV. They word / phrase spot. Therefore aim low. Keep it punchy.
• There is no such thing as a "good" agency, but there are plenty of bad ones.
• Remember they are doing you a favour. There is no "obligation" on their behalf. Nor can you treat them as if there is. 
• Complaining ends the relationship. 
• Be persistent, but not too insistent. 

9 months on and I'd add

• Accept that agencies will advertise the same job, subtly amended, under a variety of guises just to maximise the number of people likely to apply.
• They advertise jobs that don't exist.   
• The jobs they advertise generally have little resemblance to the "actual" job.
• Many of the jobs advertised will have had the job descriptions filtered and then amended to suit the needs of the Agency, not the employer.  
• The agents you speak to have no real idea about the minutiae of the jobs they claim to be experts about. Any "expertise" is a facile bluff.
• They will tell you bare faced lies.
• They will tell you what you want to hear, especially if they think they can benefit.
• They will not follow through on promises.
• Treat that they say with healthy scepticism. 
• Sharp practice is endemic. And, I'd say, encouraged.
• Cut out the middle man. If you can, apply directly to the Employer.
• They will not volunteer information, however it is possible to extract more information than you'd otherwise be privy. Guile is a tool. Use it.  
• There are no good agencies. They are all crap. Not "crap" in the "with a little tweaking they'd be better" sense, but rather in the "institutionally incompetent to the point it's been formalised then fully incorporated into the organisation's structure, where a dedicated management team exists whose sole purpose is to ensure bad practice is actively pursued and that any signs of professionalism are completely eradicated from the business" sense. 

But probably the most important thing I've learned is that you have to put these considerations aside and actively participate in the charade. No matter how much it might stick in your craw.