This years 50% off bargain is....

the Sharp 32DH500 32" TV. 

Originally £599. And now it's £299. Sounds good! I'll take two!

Except I won't. Why? When I look at the specification of this set then things don't seem to add up. A £599 32" LCD TV that wasn't full HD? A £599 LCD TV that doesn't feature a myriad of clever image enhancement goodies? A £599 LCD set that only has two HDMI sockets? That's fair enough I suppose. It might be one of those "oddballs" manufacturers sometimes produce that sit higher in product range than the specification would suggest. But I can't confirm this possibility as the 32DH500 isn't mentioned on the Sharp website. A search using the model number is equally uninformative. So the only way to judge where this TV sits is to look at the spec Curry's provide and compare it with other TVs they sell. Funnily enough the TVs that match it closest are those priced in the £299 to £350 bracket. Indeed Curry's have other Sharp TVs. One, the 32LE600E is a much better specified TV with Full 1080p HD, back lit LED and more connectors than 32DH500. Yet it sells at £449, considerably less than the £599 they originally wanted for the 32DH500. 

Confusing isn't it?

From the information I've gleaned I'd be forced to conclude that the 32DH500 is a bog standard sub-£300 LCD TV with little to distinguish it from the other TVs at this price point, beyond having "£300 off". I don't think there'd be any disputing that at £599 this TV would have been hopelessly outclassed. And desperately overpriced. I wonder how many they sold at the higher price? 

Now obviously view is based on what I see in front of me, filtered by 20 years experience of electrical retailing. So I think that it's a reasonable conclusion to draw. But I'd have to concede that it is entirely possible this was Curry's most popular TV sub £600 set, and the bald figures on the website don't actually reflect it's real world performance. However the lack differentiation between it and the £300 Samsung's and LG's of this world, beyond the large "saving", triggers some scepticism that the 32DH500 was ever a competitive £600 TV. But it's still a tricky thing to call. After all dry specifications can be used to inform and bamboozle in equal measure. 

Much, I suppose, like advertised savings.  

Attack of the Odds and Sods

I'm currently in negotiations with Gigabyte technical support.  My 18 month old motherboard - which has already been back once, has gone faulty again. Their attitude to "support" is predicated on the assumption that I'm a moron and the "fault" is a figment of my imagination. So par for the course in the IT sector then.

I mentioned way back in the summer that if I was still unemployed by Christmas I'd give an award to the Worst Recruitment Agency I've had the misfortune to deal with. And, after due consideration I'm happy to announce that Chapterhouse are the easy winners. Why? Well there are a few reasons. 13 unreturned phone calls from the guy who was supposedly running the recruitment for a job (he was either in meetings, wrestling yaks, feeding the starving or something), a blank refusal to even look at my CV without first speaking to this guy, but mainly it's due to the PR guff they have on their home page, "....we listen, we explore, we respond." The addition of the word "don't" after "we" would increase it's accuracy 100%

It's Sale time again. And the High Street has been saved! Hurrah for us. Aren't we great? Of course these are "Matsui 180TC*" sales but who cares? Certainly not the media who don't seem to realise that retailers having a couple of good days around Christmas used to be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.  

This year again there's been the annual "come back to work in Northern Ireland" campaign, aimed at people who left Northern Ireland because there are no jobs in Northern Ireland. A few years ago I signed up for this scheme at Belfast International airport's departure gate "Fill your email address in here and we'll be in touch." Beyond asking me would I consider returning to NI to work, they took no other details. Guess how many emails I subsequently received?  So many I had to tell them to stop sending them three times before they paid any attention to what I'd said? A couple a month? One every few months? An annual email asking if I still wanted to be part of the scheme? Or none? 

Hands up everyone who isn't surprised to learn that, to date, I haven't had a single one. 

*The old Matsui 180TC microwave. If an item has an advertised saving, then it must have been sold at the higher price for 28 consecutive days in the previous 6 months. In the "glory days" when Currys issued their pre-Christmas pricing and merchandising instructions a curious thing happened with the 180TC. One of the most popular microwave ovens would double in price overnight. Guess what happened in the sale? Guess what item was advertised as 50% off? Guess what flew out the door on Boxing Day? Guess why I don't believe the word "sale" or "saving" when it's printed on day glow point of sale? Guess why I think "sales" are little more than a notion based on smoke and mirrors that shoppers pretend not to believe, but that they want do believe? As for the people who queue up outside shops over Christmas to avail of these "savings"? Frankly there are saner individuals in remote institutions, who when they don't think they are Napoleon, spend their evenings chained to their beds.         

Believe in Better (5)

Amongst the many advertisements Sky are currently running is one extolling their green credentials. It has a sombre Ross Kemp imploring us to support Sky's efforts to plant trees (or something). For those interested the corporate flannel is here. You know the sort of thing. green this, recyclable that, carbon footprint blah blah blah. 

Of course action speaks louder than words. But what you actually see and what you actually experience speaks even louder. So when Sky Corporate are saying one thing and Sky News are doing something else you have to wonder. Now whether you believe in the human contribution to global warming or not, I think it's hard not to be cynical when, on one hand Sky News are reporting from the Copenhagen climate conference on the dangers, and on the other hand have flown reporters to remote parts of the world to report on the effects. Sorry? Aren't we repeatedly told that one of the main contributors to global warming is commercial flights? So what do Sky do? They send a reporter to a swamp in the Brasilan rainforest to report on the environmental damage global warming is having. And, in the interests of balance they send another reporter (who's normally seen sitting in front of their mid 90's Aiwa Hi-fi system inspired studio) to India to report on the damage caused there. Sorry? Am I missing something? How green (the other one) do they think we are? 

Of course what makes this more ironic (to the point of parody) was a little rolling demo they used to have on the Sky customer channel. Basically it said that in order to save energy you should switch your Sky box to standby. That's right, don't turn it off at the mains, just switch to standby. Funny that. I thought the existence of a standby button vexed the environmental lobby almost as much as flying. Now there maybe good technical reasons for leaving the Sky box plugged in. For example it takes to reload the EPG when the mains supply is interrupted, adding to length of time the box takes to reboot. But, and this is the key, if they are as concerned about the environment as they claim why didn't they recommend people turn their boxes off. They just need to educate their customers that although there is a short delay as the the box reboots, the overall environmental benefits could be huge. They could have plugged it as "a short delay to save the planet" or something. That they didn't do this is a puzzle. (Now when I say "puzzle" I don't actually mean "puzzle". Rather that I haven't been able to prove my suspicions. Yet.) Of course what is completely baffling is that if you do switch your Sky box off then the first thing you saw when the box rebooted was the same customer channel advising you to put the box on standby to save energy. So the only people* who'd ever have seen this well meaning information were those who were already saving more energy than those who don't know they were heeding Sky's advice.

I don't think you need to look up the word "pointless". This is it. Writ large.

 

*Apart from people shopping in electrical retailers or Argos. They get to see it as well. Typically no-one can find the remote to change the channel or the Manager / owner has "borrowed" the Sky card** so you get stuck with this. All day. Everyday. Of course the poor sap standing there will still try to persuade you of the benefits of Sky by drawing pictures on a bit of paper, or by showing you a Panasonic demo DVD of long replaced Camcorder as a substitute. Ditto with HD. "No we don't have HD to show you, but I do have a picture of a blu-ray player we don't stock to give you an idea what it's like. Isn't it fantastic?" 

**Of course this doesn't apply any more. Sky cards are locked to specific boxes, meaning that, unlike the glory days of the analogue Sky, when cards would "vanish" at the start of the football season, a card from one box doesn't work for the premium channels on another. 

Revenge of the Odds And Sods

I bought different toothpaste this week. Some variety of Colgate. It claims that it's "infused" with cleaning crystals. "Infused?"  Er? Haven't they just walloped some lumpy bits into their latest concoction?  I suppose that doesn't really fit the image they are striving for though. "Infused" implies gentleness. Conjuring images of tea ceremonies and big bowls filled with rose petals gently soaking in water. So the process they use to produce and flavour their fluoride enriched pastes must be similar. Needless to say I'm not convinced. Or enthused.  

And while I'm on the subject of toiletries. Lynx now produce shower gel containing "glacier" water (presumably now freely available thanks to global warming. Every cloud etc.). Call me "dense" but how precisely does "glacier" water make shower gel, (sold incidentally in containers shaped like the handle of an Armalite) better than gel made from non glacial water?   

The latest "After Eight" advertisement features another one of those "100% Natural" claims. This time though it's Peppermint oil. Interesting considering "Peppermint" is a herbaceous rhizomatous perennial plant, not an oil. I suppose it's possible the 100% natural peppermint oil Nestlé use was laid down during the Cretaceous period like fossil fuel. And it's minty properties were only recently discovered, oozing into large pools. Perhaps these peppermint oil pools are similar (but cooler and mintier) to those the equally "natural" Kettle Chips bathe in.  

HMV (Group) reckon that their sales will increase in the next year. And how will they achieve this? Thorough revamp of their branches? Developing innovative ideas to rekindle their moribund brands?  Aggressive discounts on their range of music, DVD's, books and games in an effort to attract people back through their doors? No it's is predicated on the realisation that, with the removal of Borders, (along with Virgin / Zavi / Woolworths) you don't have a choice. If you want a CD or a book you'll be buying it from an HMV outlet (which includes Waterstones) as there's no-one else left on the high street. Now there's a company with a strategy defined by ambition, drive, a strong sense of it's own worth combined with the necessary dynamism to succeed. Sorry I'm getting confused. What I meant to say was "Now there's a company hoping to grind out a result on the basis that other companies are worse off. And if they do manage to survive it will be largely down to pure, blind luck". Christ I should've been a retail analyst.

Angry Since 1967. The Worst Music of the Decade.

I can't summon up the enthusiasm do this. Not because there aren't things deserving of a good shoeing, but rather that my last post renders a specific, detailed list redundant.

Talk about pop music. Pop, pop, pop music

I know I'd said I was going to post a list of my favourite tracks of the last 10 years, and put the boot into the rest, but this (admittedly "barely coherent") rant came out instead. Like most things I post, if I stew on them for too long , they just become less and less clear. So here it is. Apologies in advance*. 

Where to start? The music industry is not where it was back in 1999. I think though, with the benefit of hindsight, there was an inkling of what was to follow. Remember how the BPI whinged about CDs being imported from outside the UK? Remember the rigmarole they went through trying to "punish" companies like CD Wow? Remember the reports about how expensive CDs were in the UK compared to elsewhere? Remember the weasel words and self-justification the record industry used to prevent people buying physical CDs from abroad and why they "needed" to be more expensive? It's funny now, but these glory days appear to have been forgotten. But at the time there was much gnashing of teeth. Why? Well back then if you wanted to listen to music, you didn't have much choice other than to buy CDs. You either liked it, or you lumped it. I suppose had the record companies realised what was coming, they might have reacted differently. 

The music industry then made another misjudgement. They attempted to block people from copying their own CDs to a PC, preventing transfer across to an mp3 player. The implication? You might "own" the CD, but it wasn't yours. The industry was happy to take your money and give you a silver disc in return, but beyond that? What do you mean you want to make an mp3 version so that you can play it on your newly acquired portable media player? Sorry you can't. That's illegal. And if you were tempted to make your own they introduced some kack handed copy protection on to CDs, rendering lots of them unplayable. If you wanted an mp3 version then, by god, you were going to buy an mp3 version. They simply assumed everyone was a pirate, with an evil intent towards copyright, making multiple copies to give away for free. Coincidently, and with almost poetic timing, something that many newspapers had started doing. 

If you consider what happened next in this context it seems obvious that the initial migration to downloading was a reaction against these prohibitions. "It's not bad enough that you won't let me buy CDs cheaply, but you also want to dictate what I do with my purchase once I get it home?"

As the old Belfast saying goes "hell slap it into them."

Music no longer has the hold it once had. Pre-recorded music held it's pre-eminence because there was little else to spend your money on. Now? Think of the other things you can buy, the other things that are competing your money, Video games. DVD's, mobile phones, and the rest. It's unsurprising that the amounts spent on music has declined.

Added to this is the perception - okay it might largely be my own, that the "value" of music has been eroded. Okay this could probably be categorised as "misty eyed nostalgia" but I'm not sure that's an entire explanation. Think, even on the radio stations and TV channels who you'd (even nominally) expect to provide an outlet for music, just how far down the pecking order music has become. It says much that the TV channel displaying the word "music" most prominently doesn't actually play music any more, preferring tightly scripted reality shows and other ephemeral tat. While 10 years ago such a development may not have been unpredictable, it's nonetheless demonstrates just how far things have changed.

But surely "music" is now much more accessible? It is. But I'd argue that at the same time, it's also become much less accessible. Let me try and explain. Anyone with a broadband connection and the appropriate software, can amass a music collection, shaming most record shops. And there's where the "less accessible" bit comes from. "Record Shops". Where have they all gone? Certainly the increase in supermarkets selling CDs along with the baked beans and the brillo pads will have had an impact. Although I get a feeling that the people who'd buy music in a supermarket wouldn't necessarily be the same demographic as those who'd have trailed around dusty record shops looking to fill the gaps in their Uriah Heap back catalogue. Of course there's been a parallel rise in internet outlets. Ironically many of whom are the same companies the record industry had spent few years previously attacking. I suppose this just proves the point. "Any port in a storm". And the people who actually consumed music?, Those who'd stand and flick through the (old) HMV sale, or bought from their 3 CDs for £20 selection? They are now irrelevant. I suspect that, like me, these music consumers now rely on Play for all their cheap / interesting / back catalogue needs. (When I reorganised my CDs into alphabetical order, I noticed how many had old promotional discount barcodes on the back. Now? I can't remember the last time I bought a CD (or much else) from a "record" shop.)   

The only high street "record shop" left is HMV. And they aren't interested in selling music any more. So the people who want stuff that's a little bit beyond the mainstream, are forced on to the internet. If the only place to buy music is online then it doesn't take an enormous leap just to skip the whole "buying" thing and download it for free.

So like I said we have a contradiction. More accessible, yet less accessible. I believe this is the fundamental factor in trying to summarise what's happened to "music" in the last decade. Think back to 1999. Suppose I wanted (for arguments sake) to buy the Pink Floyd back catalogue. Firstly I would have had to make a conscious decision to "buy" it. And then it was off, cash in hand, to HMV or Virgin. Now? All I have to do is tap "Pink Floyd" into a P2P site and ten minutes later I'll have their entire discography on my PC. For free.  

From the basic bit of marketing I know (long story. And "no" I'm not going there) music has, in the last decade, moved from being a "sought" good to an "unsought" good. Or, more bluntly, it's become a commodity. Just like bog roll.

So how can I sum up the last 10 years? There's been fragmentation of music into an infinity of ever more narrowly defined genres. The dearth of a defining "movement" and the exploitation of the resultant vacuum by a show business svengali's karaoke acts. The endless fixation with trying to find inspiration and the "next big thing" in bands mired in the past. But mainly it shows that the focus has moved from the "music" to how it's delivered. It must be easily consumed, readily at hand, not too demanding and appeal to the lowest common denominator. If you can sound like someone else, or look good on T4's sofa so much the better.  

And that's why, musically, the last 10 years have, with a few exceptions, been a creative wasteland.  

*granted I'll still be hacking at this in a week

The Angry Since 1967 Albums of the Decade

And so here they are. In no particular order.

Wolfsheim "Casting Shadows"

Dunno why like this so much. It's all the good bits of the old pop orientated Depeche Mode crossed with VNV Nation. Yeah I know that it's universally loathed and the band had pressed the self destruct button a few times during it's production, but do you know what? I think it's great. 

Stand out track?  "Wundervoll"

Supergrass "Road To Rouen"

The only Supergrass album I've ever bought. It sounds like a band rooting around their influences and distilling them with their own sound. The result? It just works. 

Stand out track?  "Tales of Endurance, Pts. 4, 5 & 6"

Aphex Twin "drukqs"

Probably the most "flawed" album in this list. There's a helluva a lot of James' time-warped and indigestible "techno" to stomach. But once you strip away these tracks you're left with an album where he appears not only to be channelling John Cage, Erik Satie and Claude Debussy, but surpassing them. 

Stand out track?  "Nanou2"  

Porcupine Tree "Lightbulb Sun"

I read the one star review in "Q" and I still bought it. After a couple of listens I realised an ultimate truth. "Q" don't have a clue. This is easily the most coherent and complete album Porcupine Tree have produced. But it's a frustrating album as well. Not for what it contains, but for what it promised and how as a band they've completely failed to deliver. After this 'Tree decided to explore the path called "least resistance". Pity.

Stand out track?  "Rest Will Flow"

Radiohead "Kid A"

It's hard to remember the reaction when this came out. Possibly only second to "Tales From Topographic Oceans" as the most uncompromising album to reach No.1. For the follow up to "OK Computer", people expected more of the same.  What they got?  Arch electronica and minimalism. This wasn't rock, this was the essence of Terry Riley / Brian Eno / Cluster put through the Radiohead blender. 

Stand out track?  "Optimistic" 

Boards of Canada "The Campfire Headphase"

Initially I hated this. But there was something that kept pulling me back. Then it all came into focus. An album dripping with melancholy, nostalgia and half remembered images. Along with their previous album "Music Has The Right To Children" this defines a currently unnamed genre. Not quite "ambient" or "minimalism" this is music influenced by too many days off watching Schools TV and hearing the "cheap" music it was surrounded by. Unsurpassed.

Stand out track?  "Peacock Tail"

Pete Namlook / Geir Jenssen "The Fires Of Ork 2"

Unfairly, in my view, lumped in with that god awful cod "ambient" phase we went through in the early / mid part of the decade (Moby? the endless volumes of "late night" music?). So what marks this out from the rest of the cloying chill out genre? Simple. The frigging great tunes.  

Stand out track?  "Sky Lounge"

The Beta Band "Hot Shots II"

I was late to this particular party. I didn't "get" The Beta Band. Then I did. I can't put my finger on it exactly but I think it shares a stylistic similarity to the "Road To Rouen", yet is completely different. I love the atmosphere the album produces. Yes it's a bit up and down, and on some tracks their influences are all too apparent, but that doesn't matter. As an overall experience I think the album does everything an album should do. It draws you in and makes you want to listen. And then makes you want to listen to it again.

Stand out track?  "Gone" 

The Divine Comedy "Regeneration"

This shouldn't work. But it does. Something of the "odd one out" in The Divine Comedy albums, as it doesn't really sound like anything before, or after. I just really like it. 

Stand out track? "Bad Ambassador"

And the rest?

Best Cover Version Album 

Luther Wright And The Wrongs "Rebuild The Wall"

It's a country / blue grass version of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". What is there not to like?

Best Re-issue  

Pink Floyd "Dark Side of the Moon 30th Anniversary Edition"

This is here because of the quality of the SACD version of the album that's buried on the disc, awaiting discovery by those who have the suitable hardware. An incredible sounding album. Other notable reissues worth mentioning. The SACD versions of Nine Inch Nails "The Downward Spiral and The Who's "Tommy", "Tommy" in particular sounds like the band are playing in front of you. Astonishing

Best Compilation

The BBC Radiophonic Workshop A Retrospective

Incredible, innovative music that shaped and influenced generations of electronic artists. We also get to hear all those otherwise forgotten tunes written as cheap filler. If ever there was truth in the saying that necessity is the mother of invention then this album displays it in spades. And we get lots of Delia Derbyshire. If you like electronic music then this album is indispensable

And there you have it. A different selection from the usual. Next time? I'll be putting the boot into the worst of the last 10 years and trying to work out what my favourite tracks were. 

"Pick Something Groovy"

So I will.

I've realised that I've been focusing on how music is delivered, rather than the music itself. So, to balance things up, I'm going to do some of those "End Of Decade" round-up lists. 

Well that's part of the reason. I've looked at the NME / Guardian Top 50 lists and thought two things. The first is "who?" The second? How come, a self proclaimed music fan like myself only owns three of the albums featured? So to demonstrate that I am completely out of touch with the music scene, I'm going to list what I think are the best albums from the last 10 years. 

I'm sure you can hardly wait.