Angry Since 1967 Announces new Craft Beer range

“We plan to cover all the key market points with our new range of beers” declared AS1967. The brews, "Impossible To Believe, But It's Worse Than Harp Lager", "Worse Than Guinness Stout" and "Fuck Only Knows What This Tastes Worse Than IPA".

AS1967 claimed that while only the “finest” ingredients were used, the team of brewers, head-hunted from notable craft ale producers, brought nothing but "many years of unsuccessful brewing experience, vague notions of cleanliness, underlying yeast infections and simple, blind incompetence”. AS1967 added "these beers won’t be to anyone’s taste” claiming that the unique selling point of the new ales is that they are "utterly disgusting."

“We’re not pretending. These beers are awful. Honestly? Rat wee fermented in a mouldy barrel previously used as a septic tank tastes better”. Responding to criticism this was a “gimmick” AS1967 denied this, claiming “producing undrinkable piss water, liberally fortified with concentrated grapefruit juice and giving it a quirky name in the hope no-one notices how bad it tastes is a “gimmick”. We’re not doing this. Our beer is proudly and resolutely, crap. And we make no attempt to hide behind multicoloured tins, promises of triple hopped flavours, being a “cooperative”, claims of artisan brewing or the possession of lumberjack shirts and beards. Our beers are vile. Our IPA has, for example, been described as having a hoppy character with Brillo pad wrapped in a soiled nappy undertones. We couldn't be happier."

And the industry seems to agree, with large craft-fad chains clamouring for samples.

“We’ve already sold several thousand hectolitres of “FOKWTTWT IPA” to the well-known Scottish alepop brewery Brewpop, and all the "WTG" we can brew to Brexit Inns PLC". AS1967 added "the mugs".

Shares in proton-pump inhibitor drug manufacturers jumped on the news.

Angry Since 1967 spends a week doing nothing.

Sight Unseen - TBA's new "James Bond" Film Reviewed

Although the box office success of "Skyfall Spectre" was roundly welcomed, there was a lingering sense that the film itself didn't quite live up to the usual standards of the Bond franchise. Lazy plotting and a nonsensical final third left many with a faint sense of disappointment. Well the good news is that "Spectre TBA" is a stunning return to form, with all the gadgets, car chases, beautiful girls and stunts restored to their rightful places. Although the story, a somewhat convoluted mismatch of contrivances, coincidences and explosions, doesn't quite reach the peaks of "Live and Let Die", it doesn't plumb the depths of "Goldeneye".

There is much for the Bond aficionado to enjoy, with some subtle nods to the past, and enough energy to entertain even more casual fans. Daniel Craig delivers a steely performance, displaying yet again why he best epitomises the "thug in a handmade suit" which Ian Fleming's archetype demands. There is also much to admire in the performances of the supporting cast. Dave Bautista's TBA’s "Mr Hinx TBA" joins the long list of memorable Bond henchmen, although it is something of a disappointment how little screen time he actually gets. Still what do they say? "Leave the audience wanting more?" Christoph Waltz TBA plays a more restrained, modern villain than the clichéd Bond baddie, more likely to browse his phone than to evilly stroke a cat. But he still harbours crazed global ambitions. Ralph Fiennes TBA does what he can with the material but, as his character is so lightly sketched, there's not a lot for him to work with. Which is unfortunate, given the pivotal nature of the role.

Of course, all the usual Bond boxes are ticked, Q's gadgets, glaring product placement, purely decorative female co-stars introduced to be killed and / or laid by Bond, and a theme song performed by the first singer* who happened into view.

And the verdict? This is a Bond film whose reputation will decline between its initial release and the release of the next Bond film which will, in turn, be hailed as a "stunning return to form" after the disappointment of "Skyfall Spectre*".

Rating ****  

*Although it might be Underworld who do it. This would be a "good thing".***

**This is a retread of an old post on Angry Since 1967 I wrote before "Spectre" was released. Rather than create something new, I just put a few lines through the bits which no longer apply. Other than that, it has 98% the same content as the last one. Just like a "James Bond" film.   

***Now that Danny Boyle has realised he'd be peddling a crock of shit, he's jacked it in. Underworld won't be doing the music. 

Sight Unseen - Danny Boyle's new "James Bond" Film Reviewed

Although the box office success of "Skyfall Spectre" was roundly welcomed, there was a lingering sense that the film itself didn't quite live up to the usual standards of the Bond franchise. Lazy plotting and a nonsensical final third left many with a faint sense of disappointment. Well the good news is that "Spectre TBA" is a stunning return to form, with all the gadgets, car chases, beautiful girls and stunts restored to their rightful places. Although the story, a somewhat convoluted mismatch of contrivances, coincidences and explosions, doesn't quite reach the peaks of "Live and Let Die", it doesn't plumb the depths of "Goldeneye".

There is much for the Bond aficionado to enjoy, with some subtle nods to the past, and enough energy to entertain even more casual fans. Daniel Craig delivers a steely performance, displaying yet again why he best epitomises the "thug in a handmade suit" which Ian Fleming's archetype demands. There is also much to admire in the performances of the supporting cast. Dave Bautista's TBA’s "Mr Hinx TBA" joins the long list of memorable Bond henchmen, although it is something of a disappointment how little screen time he actually gets. Still what do they say? "Leave the audience wanting more?" Christoph Waltz TBA plays a more restrained, modern villain than the clichéd Bond baddie, more likely to browse his phone than to evilly stroke a cat. But he still harbours crazed global ambitions. Ralph Fiennes TBA does what he can with the material but, as his character is so lightly sketched, there's not a lot for him to work with. Which is unfortunate, given the pivotal nature of the role.

Of course, all the usual Bond boxes are ticked, Q's gadgets, glaring product placement, purely decorative female co-stars introduced to be killed and / or laid by Bond, and a theme song performed by the first singer* who happened into view.

And the verdict? This is a Bond film whose reputation will decline between its initial release and the release of the next Bond film which will, in turn, be hailed as a "stunning return to form" after the disappointment of "Skyfall Spectre*".

Rating ****  

*Although it might be Underworld who do it. This would be a "good thing".

**This is a retread of an old post on Angry Since 1967 I wrote before "Spectre" was released. Rather than create something new, I just put a few lines through the bits which no longer apply. Other than that, it has 98% the same content as the last one. Just like a "James Bond" film..   

Welcome to Fear - Part XL

Death by lying in

Welcome to Fear - Part XXIX

Death by Tea