As this decade straddling cultural phenomena announces a new film I thought it would be worth listing the things which make S*** W*rs great.
1. Nothing.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Great Things About - Doctor Who.
As this decade straddling cultural phenomena celebrates its 50th anniversary, I thought it would be worth listing the things which make Doctor Who great.
1. Delia Derbyshire.
2. Er?
3. Did I mention Delia Derbyshire?
1. Delia Derbyshire.
2. Er?
3. Did I mention Delia Derbyshire?
Saturday, February 02, 2013
It's Vinyl-ly happened.
Honestly? If the future of music retailing is a myriad of "limited edition*" box sets featuring this month's must have fashion trinket vinyl, then the future isn't bright at all. Previously I'd complained that Belfast's one good record shop "Head" had been forced to close because their landlords wanted to lease the premises they used to a flavour of the month clothing brand. You know the sort; chasing the "purple-skinny-jeans-chequered-shirts-and-unnecessary-glasses" demographic. Well the good news is that "Head" found new premises and reopened. And the celebrations lasted long into the night. Or they did up to the point I took my first nosey around. I think the word is "forlorn". Gone was the vast selection of CDs. Now the place is filled with cheap DVDs and something much worse....
When HMV went bust, there was howling how they'd "lost touch". "Too much electronics" they claimed "not enough music". It isn't quite the same but "Head" are in danger of falling into a similar trap. Except there is plenty of music; but it's on vinyl.
Now here's the thing. There are many advocates for the vinyl experience. Listening to music on "vinyl" is a more involving experience. The ceremony of pulling the LP out of its beautifully designed sleeve, examining the pricey, hand crafted, 180gm audiophile virgin vinyl pressing, carefully placing it on the turntable, and sitting there immersing yourself in the music. As you can't to skip tracks you have to listen to tunes you would previously ignore, allowing you to explore the music as the album unfolds; hearing it the way the artist meant it to be heard.
What could be better?
Of course, this fiction doesn't bear scrutiny. What really happens is that you pull the vinyl out of a cover, which looks like something cobbled together from one of those random album cover generator memes, complete with a pixelated photo ripped off from Flickr. You then stick this work of carefully mastered polyvinyl wizardry on your plastic £70 turntable, complete with a stylus which would have a hard time passing muster as a wood screw and wow and flutter fluctuations measured in geological periods. While you can't skip between the tracks, the turntable certainly can, entirely of its own accord. And, as the stylus clogs with dust, and the crackle generated by static this causes issues forth from your speakers, you console yourself that none of this matters; "vinyl" sounds better because its analogue, ignoring that pretty much any piece of music recorded in the last 25 years has been recorded digitally. But it's still better than CD. Which, if you are prepared to spend the price of a car on turntable plus the same on the rest of your hi-fi and invest in special vibration eliminating stands and are prepared to only listen to Mary Black records, it occasionally will.
After the first few listens through, you realise that there are only two tracks you like, conveniently located on different sides, meaning if you just want to hear these you have to get up and flip the thing over. After three more plays you wonder, as you run your carbon fibre anti-static brush over the LP in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the worsening static crackles, why after so few plays on that turntable (with the USB connection you bought for slightly more than the album itself) it has managed to become scratched, adding to the cacophony of extraneous noises which obscure the music. Especially, as you've treated the thing with the same care and reverence as a heart prepped and ready for transplant into a sick toddler.
The only people who believe that "vinyl" is the future are those who didn't have to suffer its failings when there wasn't a choice. There is a reason why vinyl died. There is a reason why in less than 20 years 200 billion CDs have been produced**. So not only is "Head***" filling their shop with limited edition and contrary obscurest second hand vinyl which panders to the same demographic as that frigging clothes shop which forced them to move****, they are doing this at the expense of the format people actually buy. It is utter madness*****.
*If everything is a Limited Edition, then nothing is a Limited Edition.
**20 years after its abject failure Sony announces they will cease production of Mini Disc players. Yet analysts and experts claim that the single most successful consumer electronic format ever released, or CD if you prefer, is at death's door. Aye. Right.
***Of course it’s not just Head. Lots of record shops do the same; filled to the rafters with mouldy second vinyl and Limited Editions of albums by bands who certainly deserve the epithet “Limited”.
****If the irony were any more beautiful I think I'd cry.
*****Not to be confused with the rather fine compilation album "Complete Madness"
When HMV went bust, there was howling how they'd "lost touch". "Too much electronics" they claimed "not enough music". It isn't quite the same but "Head" are in danger of falling into a similar trap. Except there is plenty of music; but it's on vinyl.
Now here's the thing. There are many advocates for the vinyl experience. Listening to music on "vinyl" is a more involving experience. The ceremony of pulling the LP out of its beautifully designed sleeve, examining the pricey, hand crafted, 180gm audiophile virgin vinyl pressing, carefully placing it on the turntable, and sitting there immersing yourself in the music. As you can't to skip tracks you have to listen to tunes you would previously ignore, allowing you to explore the music as the album unfolds; hearing it the way the artist meant it to be heard.
What could be better?
Of course, this fiction doesn't bear scrutiny. What really happens is that you pull the vinyl out of a cover, which looks like something cobbled together from one of those random album cover generator memes, complete with a pixelated photo ripped off from Flickr. You then stick this work of carefully mastered polyvinyl wizardry on your plastic £70 turntable, complete with a stylus which would have a hard time passing muster as a wood screw and wow and flutter fluctuations measured in geological periods. While you can't skip between the tracks, the turntable certainly can, entirely of its own accord. And, as the stylus clogs with dust, and the crackle generated by static this causes issues forth from your speakers, you console yourself that none of this matters; "vinyl" sounds better because its analogue, ignoring that pretty much any piece of music recorded in the last 25 years has been recorded digitally. But it's still better than CD. Which, if you are prepared to spend the price of a car on turntable plus the same on the rest of your hi-fi and invest in special vibration eliminating stands and are prepared to only listen to Mary Black records, it occasionally will.
After the first few listens through, you realise that there are only two tracks you like, conveniently located on different sides, meaning if you just want to hear these you have to get up and flip the thing over. After three more plays you wonder, as you run your carbon fibre anti-static brush over the LP in a fruitless attempt to get rid of the worsening static crackles, why after so few plays on that turntable (with the USB connection you bought for slightly more than the album itself) it has managed to become scratched, adding to the cacophony of extraneous noises which obscure the music. Especially, as you've treated the thing with the same care and reverence as a heart prepped and ready for transplant into a sick toddler.
The only people who believe that "vinyl" is the future are those who didn't have to suffer its failings when there wasn't a choice. There is a reason why vinyl died. There is a reason why in less than 20 years 200 billion CDs have been produced**. So not only is "Head***" filling their shop with limited edition and contrary obscurest second hand vinyl which panders to the same demographic as that frigging clothes shop which forced them to move****, they are doing this at the expense of the format people actually buy. It is utter madness*****.
*If everything is a Limited Edition, then nothing is a Limited Edition.
**20 years after its abject failure Sony announces they will cease production of Mini Disc players. Yet analysts and experts claim that the single most successful consumer electronic format ever released, or CD if you prefer, is at death's door. Aye. Right.
***Of course it’s not just Head. Lots of record shops do the same; filled to the rafters with mouldy second vinyl and Limited Editions of albums by bands who certainly deserve the epithet “Limited”.
****If the irony were any more beautiful I think I'd cry.
*****Not to be confused with the rather fine compilation album "Complete Madness"
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