Now That's What I Call "Odds And Sods" Volume 12

The latest panacea to cure the economy is the extension of Sunday shopping hours. I see their point. Not even slightly. Forget about the people who'll have to work these extra hours - which I will dismiss with the following "well, they're lucky to have jobs. And we should bring back hanging. And National Service" and rather focus on how this will actually work. Puzzling isn't it? Now I'd argue retailers open too many hours already. From 9 O'clock on Monday morning, right through until 10 O'clock on Saturday evening there are national retailers open for business. If you add the 6 hours on a Sunday as well it means you can buy a TV, bread, marmite, condoms, batteries or whatever else you want during 83% of the available hours in a week from a shop. Yet the contention is if you allow retailers to open for a few extra hours on Sundays the economic problems which afflict us will be solved. Clearly the government and the advocates of this are expecting these hours to be busy. Of course this is patent nonsense which ignores the not insignificant fact that, property aside, the retail sector has taken the brunt of the effects of the recession. You don't have to go far to see vacant units in the high street or in shopping centres, nor does it take much effort to recall those retailers who have have gone to the wall. I suppose if you were to forget that business volumes are unlikely increase but will remain constant spread over the longer hours*, or factor in additional staffing and running costs, or the not inconsiderable fact that the quietest hours for retailers are those first thing in the morning or last thing at night, then letting retailers open at 9 on a Sunday until god knows when still doesn't make a poke of business sense. Yet it will happen. Why? Retail strategy isn't based on what your organisation does, rather it is based on a paranoid perception of what your competitors do (or more correctly might do), rather than giving a moments thought to what the impact replicating their actions will have on your business. If Comet started sticking people's heads in to fires, Curry's would offer it as well, but they'd try to cajole you into buying additional firelighters and scorch insurance, then blame their sales people for not selling the benefits of these added services. I'm not anti the idea of extended opening hours, I just wish they didn't attempt to justify it with spurious proclamations declaring wholesale economic benefits.  


HMV released their annual results, in a statement which could be best described as "Jam Tomorrow. Promise." They have changed their focus again, with the shops making more of an effort to sell music rather than ipod docks. The downside is they've upped their prices for music. What this means is that they are effectively back where we started. If I can buy an as new disc from Amazon for 1p plus postage and packing, then what tangible (or intangible) benefit is there for me buying the same disc in HMV for a £10? It's not just the price either though. The news that last weeks No.1 album sold just over 9000 copies (CD and download) means that all those music retailers and supermarkets were scrambling over something which had a maximum sales value of less than £100,000. That's split between every single branch of Sainsbury's, Asda, Tesco, Morrisons, HMV and the online retailers. Which if you count the three main online retailers and you simply divide the figure by these, plus the five above that means they were getting on average sales of £12,500 each. The word "pittance" springs to mind. Or put another way? The Dandy is being cancelled after 75 years because it has a weekly circulation which has slumped to fractionally less than 9000. HMV are caught in a perfect storm. Too expensive, selling stuff that no-one wants, in a market which is in decline. I'm astonished they still exist. 

*Of course longer opening hours also mean that your fixed costs per opening hour are reduced. But as your average hourly sales will be reduced the net result is they will effectively cancel each other out. The retailers who engage in 24 hour opening do rationalise this - if we have staff already in the branch replenishing anyway, then we might as well open the branch as our costs won't really increase and we might sell someone some Rizla's and Monster Munch at 4 in the morning, which we wouldn't otherwise have sold. Yeah up yours 24 hour garage! If, on the other hand, you are a retailer who doesn't use the hours you are closed for this purpose, then any additional opening hour is an additional cost. 

Too Obscure...

The problem is, as far as I can tell, taking the piss out of things which despite deserving it, are far too obscure. I should provide a link I suppose, but as the site I'm having a swipe at sees web hits as not only legitimatising what they do, but also giving it a sense of authority. I don't see any reason to feed their egos. Of course this veneer of legitimacy is ultimately undermined by the execrable horseshit which fills their site. Nonetheless I'll be damned allowing even the minuscule traffic a link from AS1967 could generate to contribute to their delusion. 

And this is the thing now. Many websites, not just those run by aggrandising amateurs like the one I've referred to above, equate "hits" with "authority" and "legitimacy". This is especially true of those related to newspapers with declining circulations. One Belfast based paper now, to all intents and purposes, runs its printed version as a teaser for the online version. Were once they sold 120,000 a day they now sell less than half this. Now newspapers have always had their influence ascribed by their circulation. As their readership declines, so (and I think rightly) their relevance declines as well. They can no longer claim to speak for "the people" if "the people" don't bother their holes any more buying their publication. And it's the "buying" which is important. In a previous post I suggested that whoever came up with a level of engagement less than pressing a like button would be a billionaire seconds later. If you buy a newspaper you are making a conscious decision to engage with it. If you accidentally surf to a page which happens to be related to a newspaper, or look at a link to one story then frankly you are not engaging with anything. 

Web hits are not, regardless of how much they howl to the contrary, equal to paid for circulation.