They've Been Framed*.

You know it strikes me as odd yet obvious at the same time that no-one has, to date, taken the piss out of any of those reality / expert shows. Take, for example "The Real Hustle". If ever there was a show requiring it's wings clipped its this one. All you'd need to do is wait for them to try one of their carefully staged hustles, and then get them with an even more elaborately staged sting. I don't think it would be too difficult to pull off either. Flatter a researcher into letting you know where they are, what "scam" they are playing and then take it from there. Or even just call at one of the Hustle team's front door, and try one of their "hilarious" scams on them. Or seemingly at least, as this would merely be the opening gambit. No doubt, if you were to do this they'd take it with all the good grace of Noel Edmonds**. And its not all. There are opportunities aplenty, enough for to make a TV show.  Other shows vying for attention include those cheap daytime antiques shows. Just deliberately buy junk, or better still, bring something extremely valuable along, feign ignorance and then see how much (or how little) you'll be offered to take it off your hands. I'm sure the valuations would be interesting. 

When you think about it, the potential for mischief is almost limitless. Take "Dragons Den" for example. It strikes me if someone was clever, determined and devious, they'd be able to sell the panel snake oil. Now I don't like Dragons Den. Why? It's that "pretend real" shtick it has, a trait it shares with the equally unappealing "The Apprentice". As I see it there are a couple of things which make "Dragons Den" a prime candidate for someone to successfully attempt this. The first is the vain arrogance of the four panellists, but the second is more important. It's the controlled, vetted environment, it exists in. I mean, if you were sitting there on the panel  you'd be pretty confident, or at least assume the BBC had rooted out the all the snake oil purveyors, leaving you with ample time to focus on the real business of the show - dismissive, unchallenged hubris. But if someone was planted on the show purely to con the panel? It's something they'd never take into account. And that's what leaves it exposed. Be honest, I can't be the only person who'd pay good money to see how they'd react if they found out someone they'd backed was in fact selling them magic beans? Of course if this was successfully attempted then, much as Smashie and Nicey did to a generation of DJs, it would completely undermine the ersatz integrity the show depends on. Programmes like "Dragons Den", seemingly immune to criticism, are susceptible to something much more damaging. 

Ridicule. 

And, of course, the "reveal", when it came, would be utterly fucking hilarious. 

*You know even by my standards this post is a convoluted mess. What I'd originally planned as a snappy diatribe has spiralled off into comma riddled incoherence.  

**A man happy to dish it out less happy, as demonstrated when Chris Morris did it to him, to be on the receiving end.  
  

Something controversial causes "outrage"

A controversial statement, act and/or threat caused outrage yesterday, as shocked onlookers, commentators, politicians and activists engaged in collective teeth gnashing at something so deliberately provocative, the culprit wore a cloak, twirled a thin moustache and cackled manically. One shocked individual claimed that this was the most horrendous thing they’d seen in at least a week. “This obviously deplorable. But more problematic is that it's just something else I have to be outraged by. Honestly it's becoming a full time job trying to keep my outrage keenly honed. I mean there's something new to be outraged by every day and to be blunt, there are only so many things I can be simultaneously outraged by, before I get completely lost. It's so got so bad recently I’ve completely missed things I would have caused me enormous outrage. I've even had to feign my horror because I’ve lost track. It's really embarrassing being outraged when I should have been delighted. In my defence though, it's not my fault. With the cuts, world hunger, threats to burn things, the size of luggage cages, the fate of beached whales, wars, famines, the economy, doctored talent shows, governmental waste, soft prison sentences, identity theft, and the other threats and attacks on life and individual freedoms, its not surprising to find that I’m completely swamped. I can't make informed decisions any more as, every day, there is a stream of things I should be shocked, outraged or worried by. And I don't have the time make the distinctions between the things I should be “really” worried about, and the things I'm told I should be worried about. It's getting so that I can't be sure my apoplexy is directed at the right things. Frankly this is keeping me awake. Or rather it would, if I wasn't lying awake at night, worried shitless about the other outrageous things in the world, I'm already outraged about. That said this recent development, whatever it is, is completely outrageous and should be stopped. Or started. Or banned. Or allowed. Or something."