Rise of the "Experts"

It seems that no problem is insurmountable if you have a celebrity to help. From dating, cooking, running a shop / restaurant / hotel / holiday resort / charity, developing new products, making a football team better or sorting out your brass band nothing guarantees success more than the addition of a celeb. They swan in wallop some new paint / clothes / equipment / uniforms / instruments into the mix, call upon one of their "celeb" chums to assist with the revamp then watch as success returns. Well I say success. In TV land success is measured not by "success" but rather by participation in a climactic "event" where they can demonstrate their improvement. The big finish where the celeb has to get their prodigies to perform their act / cooking / dance / concert or whatever at the Royal Albert Hall in front of a bemused audience. And, of course, they always (I mean always) come through, defying the naysayers, proving the doubters wrong. So, on TV at least, involving a celeb in the struggle assures success. 

There's an interesting subset of these type of shows. The celeb that has to learn a new skill. This usually involves them being coached (in much the same way as a poodle) by some faintly dusty expert, in a vital new skill be it singing, dancing, playing an instrument. Again their proficiency is demonstrated by a performance at the Royal Albert Hall*. The  twist is that events always conspire so that the expert has to call on another "celeb" expert (think Mike Batt) to assist. Despite this things always turn out brilliantly. The event is a roaring success, complete with vague indications that the celeb is some sort of undiscovered genius who could easily turn their hands to any thing they chose. Truly we are blessed to have such greatness living amongst us.

Which is, to be blunt, utter fucking cobblers. We never get to see the complete basket cases, who've also applied to appear on the show that a celeb couldn't save or improve, no matter how many of their "famous friends" they called upon**. It seems to me that these "failures" are all carefully screened so that they can't actually fail, to the extent that the climactic challenge demonstrating their redemption is so loaded in the celebs favour that even Sir Percy Ware-Armitage would be ashamed to participate in it. Now you might think "How can you presume that?" Simple. If adding a celeb (complete with a camera crew) was all you had to do to rescue something from the abyss don't you think people like Zavi / Mothercare / Woolworth's or whoever would, at the first sign of trouble, add Sue Perkins to the board of directors? 

But this isn't the point. We aren't expected to analyse, we're just expected to clap, awed by the celebs greatness, vicariously sharing in the hollow things these programmes define as demonstrating "success". We know our place. Sat, slack jawed, in front of the TV.  

  


*Presumably these shows are stuck through as a job lot by the Royal Albert Hall.  
**Except for Jesus. But he doesn't do TV any more, so it's a moot point  

Same. Same? Same.

I've been told that I'm not qualified for a junior, temporary, first line, IT support role.
Had smoke blown up my hole by Grafton.
Been knocked back by some crowd called Fluent Technologies with no explanation.
Heard nothing from PMC.
Watched as Van Rath IT recruitment (ha) fill CW Jobs with positions that don't exist.

So much the same as usual.