More whinging

Nothing has changed. I was down for my last chat with the Job Centre for a month last week. The nice person at the desk did another job search for me. This time I needed to speak Dutch. Who knows maybe next time there'll be an IT job in Northern Ireland with a requirement to speak English?

In another development. I had some subtle hints I should be less accurate on my CV. Not in the "before I walked on the Moon, I discovered penicillin while climbing Everest" sense but rather to give it a "I can barely read or write" feel.  In other words, strip anything out that might intimidate or dissuade the bottom feeders who advertise in the Job Centre from offering me a £9000 a year job. It seems that's the way it works in Northern Ireland at the moment. Don't strive to be better, pretend to be worse.

I'm sure you can imagine my response.   

But I did get a unsolicited email from an agency I'd applied to months and months ago. My cheeriness evaporated when I saw the job spec was in German.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 

Tilting at windmills

Well that's what it feels like, 

Today I had another chat at the Jobcentre. It seems the job situation in Northern Ireland is much grimmer than the statistics would suggest. Why do I know this? Well this centre is being swamped with new applicants. This time last year they had 600 people claiming. Now? It's closer to 2000. It's become so bad that they've had to introduce signing monthly rather than the usual fortnightly to cope. Perhaps, I said, they could employ some of the unemployed to help out until the "green shots" of recovery are a bit more tangible than the smoke and mirror recovery the media are determined to talk up. 

The silent response spoke volumes. 

 

More of the same - depressing I know.

To be honest I'm a wee bit pissed off right now. I've had no joy with any of the many jobs I've applied for, and speaking to a couple of the "tame" recruitment agencies the situation at the moment does look pretty bleak. They aren't expecting things to pick up until August. 

I've also had another one of "those" phone calls from a non-house trained agency. Or rather I haven't. "Yes, stick me your CV across and I''ll phone you tomorrow". That was Tuesday two weeks ago. So I rang. The person I was dealing with has left. Or to use their words "is no longer with us. Can you send your CV? again? And we'll be in touch"

Seriously.

Right back at square one. 

Jesus. 

I can feel a full on rant about recruitment agencies brewing,  They put up vague job descriptions, that may or may not accurately reflect the "real" job, don't tell you in advance who the job is with, stick the same job, with slight variations  on websites of different, but related agencies, arbitarily change the job description when they aren't getting any applicants, have a staff turnover at a rate even Curry's would be ashamed of, don't return calls, can't be fucked reading or understanding the content of your CV, meaning you have to phrase it in fashion that would patronise a 3 year old whose only exposure to English is matching cow shaped pieces to the word "cow" and, worst of all, are completely fucking disinterested. 

And, if they do touch lucky and place you? Well they expect to be paid. I'm not sure for what though. They sow not neither do they reap. They just skim off 10%. I wonder if they'd feel less soiled if they mugged pensioners or sold crack to toddlers. I certainly would.

And breathe. 

It's an odd thing. When you're in work, all you can do (okay I'm speaking for myself) is think about not being in work. The opposite seems to apply when you're out of work. Perhaps the worst thing is trying to fill the days. I know that when I finally do get a new job, I'll look back at this period and think "why did I waste all that time I had". But, and this is the truth, I am at a loss as to what to do with all this free time. I don't really know what it is, but after a few hours fruitless searching for a job my will to "do" something evaporates, I simply can't be bothered. Clearly this a manifestation of my "fucked-offed-ness". I suppose (he kids himself) the fact that I recognise it as such is a good thing, But trying to shake this feeling off is very, very difficult. I'd say it was as tricky as anything I've done recently. Perhaps the most dperessing sign of the times is that I've reached the point were Star Trek Voyager at 2 O'clock on Virgin 1 is the highlight of the day.

I think the term is "bollox"

This simply isn't sustainable. I need to do something that'll improve my chances. And although I'm reluctant to sign up for any courses (thanks to poisonous previous experiences with post graduate education) I think that if by September the options are watching an even worse version of Star Trek or doing a course, then the course gets it by a nose.